I can hold my heart in two
by Willowtreemuse
Summary: What if the fans, and the public had it all wrong? N wasn't the "gay icon"...but could the other half of Brittana be on track to be? As Glee comes to a close a certain blonde re-evaluates the secretive nature of her life.
1. Chapter 1

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 1:_

The light filtering through her open window somehow accomplished what five alarms could not manage, and her eyes cracked open a second before alarm number six – the emergency You're Fucking Late! alarm – began its piercing chimes-only version of "Down By the Sea". She winced in recognition, attempted to throw the covers off her legs and jolted halfway upright before realizing that she was half pinned underneath another, darker body.

'Shiiit' She groaned, rubbing at her eyelids with her free arm as she yanked her other from where it was trapped between her own stomach and a sweaty torso. A very feminine torso. She blushed fiercely when she felt a nipple graze against her side as the other girl began to stir.

"Oh what the fuck," she muttered, squirming right back, "Brittney. Britt, wake the hell up."

The girl groaned, lifted her eyes to connect with hers and flopped right back down, blowing a raspberry into the blonde's belly button.

"Aaah!" Heather squealed, giggling against her will, "N-no, I'm serious!" she laughed out, yanking the girl's head up to look at her again with a glare, "we're late."

"Again?" Brittney groaned.

"Yea, again. And who's fault do you think that is? Not mine! What are you still doing here anyway?" The girl winced at Heather's condescending, angry tone and sat upright defensively, distancing herself from the warm body that was beneath her seconds before.

"Wow. Fuck you too Hemo. Sorry for falling asleep."

Heather frowned in acknowledgement of her sour mood, gathering the comforter around herself as she got up to pick up her friends clothes from the floor, tossing them to her quickly.

"Ugh, I know. I'm sorry but like, everything's been getting to me lately. And Zach is going to hand you your ass. Get dressed, I'll drive you in with me…I guess."

"No need to sound so enthusiastic!" Brittney shouted after her as she dropped the blanket and hopped into the shower, not even bothering to close the door.

"Would joining me make it up to you?" Heather called back, tossing her head out of the stream to send a half-hearted saucy wink.

"No, not really" Brittney grumbled to herself as she put on her underwear, bra and pants, "your bitch-ass mood is turning me off."

Heather heard the girl sigh as she turned off the steady stream of water and hopped out, getting dressed quickly so that she could sit with the girl on the edge of her bed. They both stared straight ahead, refusing to look at each other.

"Look…Britt. I've been an asshole lately, I know that. You're a good friend and this…arrangement we have keeps me sane in a lot of ways. But I'm kind of tired of being used and I'm sick of using you, too. It's not right. This filming year is almost over, I'm not sure how much I'll be back or what's happening with –, we both know who my heart's really after, right?"

Brittney looked down at her lap and pulled one of Heather's hands over to her, grasping it tightly.

"I know. But this sucks. Because I'm going to have to be the real deal and say this to you right now, straight up. We can't do this anymore. It's not like I'm breaking up with you or any of that lame shit because we've never had anything beyond our friendship and hot bodies to bang on the side, but –

She let go of Heather's hand and got up to leave, turning to face her just long enough to voice her final piece of advice.

"Take care of yourself, and figure your shit out, please. Not for me, maybe for you, but definitely for Naya. Because you're not going to spring your shit-storm on her without acknowledging how deep this all runs, hun. Hell, I won't let you." She frowned and looked at the ground, seemingly fascinated with her fidgeting feet.

"I'll see you next week when it's drinks night for the girls. But I'm driving myself to set."

With that, Brittney was gone, leaving Heather alone in her brightly lit room. "Yea," she muttered bitterly, "It's that easy."

She picked up the spare key that Brittney had subtly left behind on the bed beside her and hurled it at the door.


	2. Chapter 2

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 2:_

A few minutes – or it could have been as long as 20 minutes later, Heather slid into her car with a huff and tossed her gym bag into the passenger seat. As she began to slowly back out of her driveway she pulled up a text on her phone and typed out quickly from the corner of her eye,

**cast wrap prty tomorro night. Be a pal and "date" a gal? - H**

Considering the distraction of her phone, she wasn't surprised when her back tires lightly bumped the curb on the opposite side of the street, but she cursed under her breath anyway. It was just one of those days.

As she drove a little too quickly for the speed limit's taste towards the Glee set, she couldn't help but ponder what Brittney had said to her. _"Figure yourself out"_…well, she was trying, wasn't she? Actually…to be honest, between hiding so deep in the closet that her closest friends couldn't find her, and yet somehow being in denial of the whole sexuality thing in its entirety….she guessed that she really wasn't trying that hard at all.

Heather I'm-Not-Gay-But-I-Fuck-Girls! Morris. Yep, she was ace-ing the self-evaluation portion of this exam.

As she turned onto the main street towards the Hollywood lots her phone began to ring.

"Who's gonna be there?"

She rolled her eyes and stopped abruptly at the convenient red light.

"Hi to you too Tay!" She bit out with false cheer.

"Is Brittney going to be there?"

Heather's free hand clenched to the steering wheel with a sudden and alarming force.

"What the fuck? Are you seeing her or something? Because I swear-

"Jeeesus", Taylor drew out with a laugh, making the speaker crackle, "no, HeMo. I know you think she's super cute and I'm just screwing with you!"

"Oh…" Was her only response. She mentally faced palmed as the light turned green.

There was a moment or two of complete silence as her "boyfriend" put the pieces together.

"Oh….fuck! It's more than that, isn't it?"

"I don't do that- I-I'm not gay, T!" The minute the words left her mouth angrily she winced at their falseness, and gripping the wheel tightly once more she took the turn into the parking lot far too sharply and heard her tires screech in response. She felt their pain, she really did.

"Uh huh. Sure. We'll talk about this more tomorrow, then? What time am I picking you up miss hetero thang?"

Heather scoffed.

"8 o' clock?" She tried, lightly, refusing to acknowledge his sarcasm openly.

"I'll be there princess," Taylor mocked sweetly, and then there was nothing but a click.

"Ughhhhh!" Heather whined, pulling into her usual spot and resting her head against the wheel. She was seriously tempted to take a nap right there and then, but then she remembered with another groan that really she had just woken up, and the long, second to last day of work had just begun.

Her heart ached at the thought as a flash of her best-friend's sweet smile flickered in her mind. Today was going to suck.


	3. Chapter 3

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 3_

When Heather walked into the building the first things she noticed were the dozens of signs directing extras – and, oh so helpfully, her – to the "main auditorium". She rolled her eyes. It looked like she wasn't really missing much by being late after all, and especially because filming had only been scheduled to start 20 minutes ago, it was likely that no one was missing her.

As she walked onto the auditorium set, filled with extras milling about and cameramen taking the time to set up their final angles, it seemed that her suspicions had been right. She hardly even needed to be here.

_Graduation._

The word still left a bitter taste in her mouth, like the after-effects of a sour candy. It was a reminder that while most of the cast might be moving on to bigger and better storylines, in new and exciting locations, she was still stuck here. With a lot of the "newer" people, even though she had been around since the beginning. She felt betrayed, almost. But if she was honest with herself….her biggest concern was the potential separation of Brittana. Of her and _Naya_.

Scoffing, she turned around abruptly to head to the craft services room and grab some much needed coffee, but nearly bowled over Zach Woodlee instead. Both of them yelped rather un-elegantly before chuckling. "Sorry!" Heather exclaimed, "I was just going to grab some coffee…" she trailed off, pointing down the hall where she was headed.

"I'll walk with you," Zach replied, shouldering his bag – which was probably filled with choreography notes and sheet music – back into place, "I need your help anyway."

"Yea?" Heather inquired, somewhat interested, as they left the room.

"Yuh-huh, um, after your coffee, could you go warm up in the tin-shed for a while? And then I'll have to send the girls in, boss-Murphs needs a Cheerio reshoot and I want you to tune up the choreography while you teach them."

"Oh-um-, sure!" She stumbled her words a bit, surprised because -"don't they need me like….on camera? Or something?

"They're shooting close-ups of Glory Days today, HeMo," Zach explained almost softly, with what she could swear was a look of sympathy on his face. He briefly brushed his hand along her shoulder as they reached the crafts room and quickly fixed themselves some coffee.

"Thanks for dragging me with you girl," he teasingly added with a forced bright smile, as he noticed a profound shift in the blonde's mood. She looked up from the swirling liquid she had been contemplating over as she stirred to stare at him expectantly. He over gesticulated in response as he declared, "I needed the caffeine!"

He grinned again and she half grinned back, "you and me both, bud."

As he began to leave he turned abruptly, "Hey Heather?" he questioned somewhat tentatively. Heather squinted at him and tilted her head as if to say 'what are you up to now, boy.' But she didn't give him a verbal answer. So he continued,

"I can tell that you're a little, uh, off – He held up his hand with a wave to dismiss her noise of protest,

"I just want to suggest a drink tonight. At the bar on West. Sound good?"

Heather smiled genuinely at him this time, "Sure," she said softly, "that sounds good Z. I'm gonna go work now though."

"Remember," He called out to her, "Tin-shed!"


	4. Chapter 4

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 4_

Heather really wasn't in the mood to teach dance. Fine tuning her dance-mates' movement and pacing would take just a little bit too much patience and kindness, neither of which she felt she had an abundance of that day.

Knowing the inevitable lessons were going to come anyway, she decided to at least loosen herself up the best way she knew how – by simply letting go and maybe showing off a little bit (albeit only to herself) as a personal reminder that although she had the short end of the stick in a lot of ways, she still had it. 'It' of course, being the talent that drew Beyonce` to her – and continued to do so: the pop diva contacted Heather around once every other month. 'It', meaning that free spirited feeling she got when she realized that she loved dancing in a way no one understood, and in a way she believed no one else possibly could.

The way Heather danced was a part of her – and was also a wonderful way to relieve all sorts of tension. And with that in mind, and her basic stretches over with, she secured her ipod onto the dock in the far corner of the room, finding the loudest, most senseless pounding beat to lose herself in.

She rolled her shoulders as she viewed herself in the mirror, scoffing at her slightly worn out expression before she bounced on the balls of her feet to loosen her knees and with a hardened smirk let the sounds and the vibration of the pounding bass move her body like she was hooked up the speakers.

1 2 3 4

1-2-3-

Heather counted the music out in her head automatically as she bounded into the air to execute a perfect spin, rough and fast like the hyped up techno music. Artistically throwing herself to the ground and kicking back up with her feet, she found that the dull pain and satisfying 'thuds' of perfectly executed falls were exactly what she needed today – and to that effect she soon progressed into more gymnastic stunts instead of strict rhythmic motion, taking deep breaths and running starts before flying across the room in bounding leaps, jack-knifes and double-backflips. Whatever she felt like, whatever the inherent risk might have been on the wooden floors, she did it anyway.

She let her heart drop into her lower stomach, nearly forgotten as her head fogged up with the paradoxical clarity of her frenzy, and flipping through the humid air, she was free.

Well…for a moment.

"Holy crap…" she heard someone breathe out as the music tapered down, and she landed a simple roll into a graceful split. She knew it wasn't Brittney, for obvious reasons, and it wasn't Hannah or any of the main 'crew', because frankly they were used to her and her tendency to show off once and awhile – or rather, to get lost in the moment and forget other people even existed. She turned around on the floor and repositioned herself cross-legged, finding herself face to face with Dianna. They locked eyes, Dianna smiled confusedly and Heather grinned back shyly.

"I think –Dianna shook her head as if to clear it "no, I'm definitely sure I had no idea you could do, well, any of _that_." Dianna had clearly seen everything, well, at least some of her more impressive flips. Heather could almost hear it in her voice, and she resisted blowing off the compliment too casually, like she usually would have just to make sure she didn't sound cocky.

"Oh come on, you didn't stalk my youtube videos like the rest of the cast when they heard I was joining up?" She teased instead as she stretched, not keeping any prolonged eye contact with the other girl.

"Well…."

'Aw,' thought Heather, presently surprised by the change of demeanor in her friend, 'is she blushing?'

She giggled, "I'm screwing with you, Di. I mean – it's not very often I get genuine reactions on my dancing, especially from friends like you. So thanks."

Getting up to yank her ipod unplugged before another upbeat song started and scared the crap out of them, Heather pinched Dianna's side to really get her attention (and a ticklish laugh).

"Besides, I wouldn't look me up online anymore," she deadpanned, making Brittany-level eye contact with her friend, "like ever." And suddenly her voice was that of a pirate, "there be naked pics out there! Arrr…"

Dianna squealed, shoving Heather away, "Heath!"

Heather shrugged, grinning, "Whaaaat? It's true!" She justified, winking.

"Whatcha doing up here anyway, D?" She asked, changing the subject in between chugs of water from the bottle she always kept nearby while she worked.

"Oh. I was wondering if you wanted to go out after shooting. Or well….after you're done with the dancers, or whatever. I miss you, you know. Things seem different, and we should fix that." Dianna gave her a lopsided smile, and Heather's heart warmed at her friend's sweetness, but at the same time she felt horribly guilty. She had been pulling away recently…not necessarily from everyone. But it was pretty hard to avoid just one particular co-worker when everyone was so tight….

She sighed regretfully, "Zach's taking me out for a drink after, I'm sorry. You could totally come, but like – I think he wants to have a little chat with me. Man-o y woman-o."

"It's fine, don't even worry." Dianna smiled, stepping forward to hug her. Heather relaxed into the embrace in an instant, not realizing until that moment how much she needed it. After less than a minute though they both pulled away, and Dianna asked curiously, "I'll be seeing you at the wrap-up tomorrow night, right?"

"Oh yea, of course!" Heather replied, mustering up all her possible enthusiasm and trying not to remember what that night would represent. 'The end,' she thought to herself, 'it's really the end…isn't it? Or at least, things will never be the same.'

"With Taylor?" Dianna asked with a nudge and a wink, and she resisted rolling her eyes and grumbling like a five year old. But then her heart started to hurt as she combined Dianna's question with her earlier thoughts, and she considered that yes, she did wish it was the end of things - with Taylor. Not the end of being his friend…but of this act they were both putting on. She was tired of it.

"Yea," she sighed lowly, not noticing the frown that her reaction garnered, "he'll be there too…." She literally felt the pang in her chest. Everyone knew about her boyfriend, and what he was up to. Always. Because it was necessary, wasn't it? Needed for the charade? She just wanted to curl back into herself, and maybe she did, unknowingly, because the room was suddenly too quiet.

"Alright…I'll see you later." Dianna said as the atmosphere got inexplicably awkward.

"Talk to you later, Di."

Dianna left without another word and Heather sat against the nearest wall, deciding in an instant that she was done warming up for the day.


	5. Chapter 5

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 5_

Heather and Zach sat across from each other at a dingy table; at their stupid dingy bar that they both had started going to together well before Glee. The silence was awkward, for the simple fact that it existed. Usually the two of them could not shut up.

Heather chuckled lightly, she couldn't help it. She shrugged her shoulders in Zach's direction as if to say "well? This was your idea, dumbass…."

"So…" Zach started, smirking, taking the girl's silent hint.

"Do not, 'so' me Woodlee-doodle-dandy, we're better than this!" Heather cut in, teasingly and with a false bravado that significantly lightened the atmosphere.

"Oh my God," Zach smiled fondly, reaching across the table to cover her hand with his own, cheekily, "you haven't called me that in for-ev-er."

"Is this a date?" Heather teased, blankly, Brittany shining through her eyes.

Zach grinned, lifting his hand away, "Honey, you're not my type."

"Well good, because you're not my – just good." Heather flinched, acknowledging that again, she was completely ruining whatever this meet-up was supposed to be. _Nice one, Morris_, she thought with a frown.

Zach studied her carefully.

"Did the crew wear you out today? You had them in there for a while…."

"Please," Heather scoffed, silently appreciating his avoidance of her awkward-about face into 'what the fuck' territory, "I wore _them_ out. I made them go _hard._ I think some of them would have started doing push-ups if I asked them too." She winked and the server, a young bright redheaded girl, chose that exact moment to bring over their beers. She took the wink as meant for her and blushed brightly at the blonde, ducking away quickly. Heather blanched, and this time Zach took obvious notice, eyeing her carefully.

"You seem to have that effect on ladies."

Hmm…wait. WHAT. Obviously she wasn't focusing, right? He couldn't have said – "What?"

Zach shook his head at her, reaching across the table to take her beer and place it safely on his side, before she even got a chance to open it. And instantly, Heather knew she was in for it – the talk.

"I said you seem to have that effect on our ladies."

"Oh…" She slumped down in her chair, knowing she'd reached the highest point on the un-smooth scale, and was going to pay for it.

"Yea. Oh. What's going on with you HeMo? I mean seriously, what the actual hell is going on?"

"I'm…going to miss everyone?"

"Clearly" So he wasn't having it. Fine. She tried again,

"I'm stressed."

"I know."

Dead silence. They'd reached the stalemate. Staring at each other, their gaze was only broken when Heather drifted her eyes down to glare at her drink that was in her friend's hand, instead of hers.

"I…God, you're going to kill me, because it's SO lame and ubber-obvious. But I'm gonna miss her, Zach. I'm really, really going to miss her."

That was close enough to the truth…right?

Zach smiled in sympathy, and with relief that he was finally breaking through. _So it must've been close enough_, she decided with a shared sense of the same relief.

"Naya and you will always be best friends, HeMo."

She sighed, and it probably sounded a little too heartbroken, considering.

"I know."

"And for God's sake, you'll both be back after the summer…."

"I know," she repeated, impatiently. She'd heard things like this, from the cast, all of them trying to console each other, over and over again. But none of them realized how different the next year was going to be. Especially for her. Not that she'd ever let on to _why_, "I just – I feel like I'm being left behind. Like Naya's going to be half in New York, and half here, and I'm just same old Brittany you know? The dumb blonde who's girlfriend went off to make it big without her. How very prophetic."

_He doesn't even know the half of it. _

_Girlfriend…._It actually hurt her to say the word.

"Naya's not going to leave you behind like that. I'm sure something's being worked out for next year. You know what the fans think," He mimicked a higher-pitched voice, slightly mocking their 'fangirls', "there's no Santana without Brittany! Their love is legendary!"

They both giggled. But Heather sniffled as well, still holding it all in.

Again, the silence.

"Just…." Zach sighed, almost fondly, "fuckin' talk to her, you know? There's no other two people on this Earth I've ever seen connect like you guys. I can tell you've been avoiding all of us, just to stay outta her hair. I just wanted to hear you admit it. It's _stupid_, you know?"

Heather nodded, reaching forward abruptly to rip her beer from him, catching him off guard and causing his knee to knock into the table, wobbling everything in sight. He laughed, and it was his way of saying "that's my girl."

"I'll talk to her," she said, smirking into her newly opened brew, "I promise."

She tried to make it sound like it wasn't a lie.


	6. Chapter 6

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 6_

"Yooooo, Heather!" Kevin called out good-naturedly as he spotted her walking a few lines of cars down from him in the parking lot; she acknowledged his gangsta mood with a laugh and trotted over, parroting his tone, "Yoooo, Kevin!"

They walked together in silence for a while until Heather remembered Zach's words, about how distant she had been lately. She nudged into her friend's shoulder with her own.

"Wassup?"

Kevin almost looked surprised. And there it was again, that feeling of her being a total asshole. She ignored the pang in her chest and instead nodded along in understanding as he responded,

"Really….not much. I mean, I'm just trying to get through today and not think too hard about what it means, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." They sighed, but smiled at each other all the same.

"Just get me to the damn party already. I wanna like, hang out with my friends – not cry all over them. Speaking of which, you want a ride tonight?"

Goddamnit, she wished she could just say yes. But of course, as usual, everyone knew that there was always Taylor and asking her if she wanted a ride had become nothing more than a meaningless friendly gesture. Kevin hardly even seemed hopeful, and she grimaced at him, shrugging,

"Taylor- he's coming at eight – I mean – I could -

He interrupted her guilty explanation, "H! No, it's okay! I get it. You don't get much time to spend with your boy. "

He winked suggestively and two things happened in rapid succession. First, she nearly had to fight off a gag, and then she was physically stopped in her tracks by the awkwardly timed realization of: _woah. I think I'm really gay._

Kevin stood there looking so bewildered that for a horrifying moment she thought she had said it out loud. But then she remembered she had stopped walking, and to cover her tracks…._hmmm_, she giggled, _this was actually a pretty good idea!_

"Sorry. I just realized that I could give YOU a ride to _work_ though…." She smirked mischievously into the distance, and Kevin turned to look at whatever she was grinning at. All he saw were Dianna, Lea, Cory and Vanessa chatting near one of the trailers, about 50 feet away. That was all Heather saw too, so obviously he was missing something.

"Uh Hemo…we're already here."

"Well yea…." She drew out teasingly, "duh. But we're not over _there._"

Kevin tilted his head at her in confusion, but now he was smiling dopily as well, if only for the fact that her suddenly shifted demeanor was infectious. She grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around again so he was looking at the group too, as she spoke over his shoulder,

"You know how in the Lion King – when Timon and Pumba break up all those freaky death-birds?"

She walked around and squatted down in front of him and tried to hold in her laughter as she heard Kevin's high pitched snort of disbelief.

"Hop on."

And well – who was he to argue? He fucking missed this girl.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-YAAAAA!" Kevin screeched as he mounted Heather, nearly making her topple over in laughter at how accurate he was at mimicking Timon and Pumba's battle cry.

"KEVIN OH MY GOD" she shouted at him over his screaming, as she stood quickly and charged the small group with surprising speed.

She wasn't even joking. She was planning on barreling right through.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and

BAM. The reaction was hilarious, and instantaneous. Dianna screeched and hid behind Lea, who only provided cover for so long before falling directly on her ass, as Vanessa jumped into a completely bewildered Cory's arms.

Heather skidded to a stop a few feet beyond the now scattered group, dropping Kevin to the ground and proceeding to roll quite literally with the boy in uncontrollable laughter.

"Jesus Christ," he wheezed, "this is the best day of my life!"

"You – fucking – how did you even make that" she hiccoughed as her voice squeaked out, "sound?"

"Uh oh…" Was Kevin's only response after a few more minutes of unashamed cackling, as he took in a few deep, calming breaths. Heather rolled almost on top of him and stared ahead – well technically up into the sky – only to come face to face with four of their dearest friends glaring down at them.

Heather smiled with faux shyness, "uh….hi guys?" And offered her hand to Vanessa, who heaved her up and brought Kevin upright with a yank as well.

The six of them immediately fell into an excited chatter,

"I'm sorry guys, but that was the BEST. My GIRL is the best."

"Jesus fucked-y fuck Heather, where's this version of you fuckin' BEEN for so long?"

"You have such a way with words, Cory"

"And strong arms…."

"Was that a stroke I just had?" "No, Di honey, but you may have wet your pants."

"Okay enough!" Heather belted out, silencing them all. "We know, I'm awesome" she winked, dodging slaps from Cory and Lea as she linked Vanessa's arm in hers.

Maybe the last day on set would be a good one, after all….


	7. Interlude

I can hold my heart in two

_Interlude I_

Heather remembered tears in Naya's eyes as they hugged – unscripted – and how Naya's voice cracked for only her to hear when she sung the lyrics against her ear.

She felt like an awful person for wishing that the sorrow meant something more, that she could dig deeper, and see once and for all if Naya truly felt the same kind of horrific pain. But then she remembered how she had seen Matt standing in the shadows, watching them all – and how his grin brightened when he shot his girlfriend a thumbs up immediately after the last notes died out (The final notes of the year). And she laughed thickly, burrowing her face into her pillow, remembering.

How Naya had shot her a smile from across the room and she had felt a fool's kind of hope blossom in her belly.

How Naya had nearly run into her boyfriend's arms and he held her tight, and reality had come to crush her from inside out again.

Her own arms ached in longing. She wrapped them around the pillow under her head, and willed herself not to cry.

_But it hurts…._

_It hurts._


	8. Chapter 7

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 7_

**Come out come out whenever you're readyyyy – T **

Heather rolled her eyes as she checked her phone, tossing it back on her rumpled bed as she touched up her eyeliner – deciding to make it water proof, just in case. Looking herself in the mirror one last time she straightened her light green blouse and dark blue blazer, deciding that combined with her skinny jeans and a few random bracelets the outfit was put together enough, but at the same time still _her. _She retrieved her phone, grabbed the first purse she saw (she always kept a small amount of cash in each one, just in case…and knew it was ridiculous, but y'know) and ran out the door to meet her friend.

"That took ten minutes" Taylor said flatly in greeting as she buckled and he peeled out of the driveway.

"Fuck off," she replied, sticking out her tongue.

"No," he shook his head with a smirk, "it usually takes 25. I'm impressed."

"I don't like you," she whined, slapping him upside the head. He ducked and nearly honked the horn with his face, laughing.

"It's a good thing no one else knows that!" He countered cockily, looking to the side a little just in time to catch her freeze up and frown.

The car was filled with several long minutes of awkward silence as they cruised down the winding road.

"Heather…" he finally sighed as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. He knew that this was all going to come up at some point during the night anyway, seeing at it was the last 'true' cast party, and he could tell that all the lies had slowly been wearing the girl down.

"Do you wanna pull over at some coffee place? I picked you up a little bit early. Just in case you -

"No!" She interrupted quickly, "I'm sorry. I'm fine. It's just –

"Yea," he cut in with a roll of his eyes, as he pulled into a nearby lot – that did in fact have a coffee place, but they all did around here so it wasn't that much of a coincidence - "It's just. Exactly! HeMo, we have to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," she mumbled half-heartedly, staring down at her hands in her lap.

"I've played along for two years. Two fucking years. All these lies, and you still won't even tell me – no, I already know – but you won't ADMIT to me why?" His voice was climbing in volume and he knew it, and it wasn't as if he was truly angry at her, but all of his frustration was building up and he couldn't stop. Not if, by some chance, harsh reality and his biting words could be the only way to get through to her.

In his opinion, it was time for both of them to own up. To all of it.

Heather didn't say a word, but she looked up from her hands into his eyes, fearful and abruptly attentive. _Good_, he thought wryly, hating that he had to do this, _she's listening for once._

"I can't do this anymore Heather! I can't…..you need to look me in the eyes and tell me this charade is worth it."

As he expected, her eyes drifted noticeably, as if she had suddenly become fascinated with his nose.

"You can't even look at me. And I'm thinking it's because I'm the last thing you want. And you know what? That's okay. It's not like we're exclusive." His voice had turned sour on the last word, and she winced.

"But I'm so. Goddamn. Tired! Of pretending to be your boyfriend, of feeling like I'm not even your FRIEND anymore because all we've become is this shadow of ourselves, this weird robotic relationship where we're just afraid to be! And so –

_Deep breaths, kid, in and out. You can do this. You can tell __**her **__to do this, if it's for the best. _

"I need you to break up with me,"

"WH-" she began, indignantly. He put his hand over hers in her lap to cut her off.

"I need you to break up with me, Heather Morris. And because you're my best friend, and goddamn, I'm yours too sometimes – I need you to tell me why."

He felt close to crying himself, but it still killed him to see those blue eyes brimming with tears.

"I – can't we just…." She trailed off, sniffling, grabbing onto his hand in her lap and holding on for dear life. But he held his stony gaze.

"Okay," she whispered, "okay. I'm breaking up with you, T. I'm sorry."

He nodded, closing his eyes for a second or two before opening them again, alight and anew, prepared to support her in any way he could.

"Why?" He persisted, sharply.

Heather's eyes flitted back and forth between the left side of his face and his right, back and forth and back and forth, until they fixated on the spot between his own eyes and she confessed through choked back tears,

"Because I'm gay."

He unbuckled and pulled her into a tight hug in an instant, murmuring, "you're good, you're okay. We're going to be okay," over and over again on loop, for a few minutes until he felt her shaking subside.

When they pulled apart, they risked small smiles, and were pleased when they quickly expanded to full grins for them both. The weight had been lifted.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" He asked, half teasing and half serious.

"What, you mean…c-coming out?" She replied, nervously, although the smile only faltered slightly.

"No," he joked, "finally having me as the bro you've always wanted, so we can compare girls, and shit."

She smacked him in the arm again, a little harder than before – and satisfied that things had finally come full circle he laughed, throwing his hands up in defense,  
"Sorry, sorry!"

"You're a good friend, Taylor. I'm the one who should be sorry," Heather sighed, bringing the mood to a lull again. He sighed as well, though not unhappily.

"No, it's like…cool, because I understand. Just like I understand how we're both gonna go to this party and act like we're together, so you can explain everything to your friends on your own terms, okay?"

Heather pulled him into a hug again abruptly, the force behind it shocking him…and sort of cutting off his air supply, too.

"Uh, dude?" He wheezed, flailing slightly. She released him with a look.

"Don't call me dude. But you're an amazing guy."

"I know," he replied with a cocky wink, before putting on an over the top sports announcer voice as he re-buckled and began to drive, making her laugh,

"Now! For tonight's rules, newly established under this level of play: Number 1! We can't dance with other girls until it appears that everyone is well on the way to wasted. Numero 2! If I touch you below the waist I get my dick cut off!"

"Those rules are the same as always," she said through her giggles, "and would you keep it down?"

"What, like the Gleeks down the street can hear us? Besides, this one's different," he said at normal volume through his own laughter, before kicking up the dramatics again:

"Number 3! No sharing! If I'm finally free to leave with someone you must let me know FIRST if it's someone your tongue has been in in some way!"

The indignant screech that came from the blonde after that one was so worth the minor beating that followed. And as he pulled into Kevin McHale's driveway he pretended not to notice her thinking face go on, as she undoubtedly counted away at all the dancers she had been with….er, _intimately._

If he was Santana Lopez, he would have said _wanky_. But as it was, all she got was a muttered,

"Ho."

She shrugged good-naturedly as she bounced out of the car, and he thought to himself, _let the party begin_.


	9. Chapter 8

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 8_

Heather put her arm around Taylor's waist with a teasing wink and knocked on the door as he shook his head. Muttering something about 'always having to be the top', he laughed as he removed her arm and wrapped his own tightly around her. She scowled, but it lit up into a smile when Kevin greeted them.

"Hi guys!" He said, grinning and stepping aside to let them in, "the 'epic Glee cast booze collection' is scattered all over the kitchen…and so is the food, in theory. Everyone is all over the place but I think I saw Matt and Naya in the living room last, with Di, so –

He shrugged,

"have fun!"

He side hugged Heather, gave Taylor a nudge to the shoulder and ran down the basement stairs – from which laughter and shouting drifted to their ears.

"We're not going into the living room, are we?" Taylor asked, rolling his eyes. He had noticed his friend tense the moment Kevin said Matt's name so near to Naya's.

"No," she replied, scowling once more. She swallowed thickly, "I dunno about you, but the first thing on my to-do list is a drink."

He followed her into the kitchen and they both grabbed a beer before following Kevin's path to the basement.

Heather popped open her beer bottle and laughed as she saw Zach, Meg, Kevin and Harry having a dance party in the center of the room as Lea, Cory, Vanessa and Jenna catcalled and whooped from the couch. Taking one more pull at the liquid quickly she handed her drink to Taylor without a second glance and ran over to them, surprise-humping Zach from behind as she bounced to the beat.

He yelped, spun around and when he saw it was only her hugged her tightly with a grin,

"Good," he joked, "I thought you were Ryan, or something. Goddamn, that would be HORRIFYING." She looked around to see if anyone else had heard and then swatted him, cackling, "you're so bad!"

"Yea, yea," he replied, "now go violate the rest of them, looks to me like they're waiting for it." On cue, Harry put out his hand and spun her into his chest, and they swayed for a little bit before Kevin took over and tried to leap onto on her back – unceremoniously falling to the floor.

"Is everyone else already drunk?" She asked through her giggles, directing the question towards Meg as she helped the boy off the floor.

"A little bit," Meg replied as she continued to dance. Heather stepped forward into her space and grabbed her hips to still them. Meg smirked.

"Where's the rest of the crew?" Heather inquired further as she hugged her friend.

"Oh, um," She frowned in concentration over the blonde's shoulder, "They went out on their own…I think. Something about some asshole hurting Britt and her not wanting to deal with them. Although I don't know how that has anything to do with the party….."

Heather felt her heart clench as she quickly released Meg's hips and pulled away from her, taking her beer from Taylor's hands and heading up the stairs without another word. He shrugged apologetically and then laughed lightly as Vanessa got up to give him some room on the couch and (platonically) fell back down to recline in his lap.

Heather almost crashed into Naya on her way back to the kitchen, where she had originally planned to sulk and collect her thoughts. But now, the tan arms circled around her waist and the grinning face against her hair foiled her escape plan, as she immediately fell into the embrace with a sigh.

"Hey Nay," she said softly.

"You almost killed me," Naya teasingly whined into her neck, and Heather shivered, closing her eyes tightly and fighting off the sensations that rushed to her head at the ticklish action. Naya pulled away after too many seconds and grabbed her hand, bouncing on the balls of her feet, "anyway, now that you're here, come hang in the living room with us!"

"Um…." She coughed awkwardly, shuffling her feet, "well…I left Taylor downstairs."

"Find him later, no big deal," Naya replied with a wink that kind of made Heather want to kill herself, but then Chris – when did he even get here? – was heard shouting downstairs,

"GLEEK NEVER HAVE I EVERRR" to a combination of groans and "not yet"s and shouts of "yes!", and Naya's mind completely changed its course.

"Nevermind! Let's just go join the game down there!"

The next thing she knew, she was being dragged by the clueless love of her life right back down the basement stairs once more.


	10. Chapter 9

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 9_

Heather looked at Taylor pleadingly as she came down the stairs, behind the bouncing trail of a severely tipsy Naya….who still refused to let go of her hand. Taylor chuckled and came to her rescue, mumbling something into Vanessa's ear to get her to move off of him and over slightly so Heather could break free from her friend and plop down next to him, gratefully (but not so gracefully) throwing her arms around his neck.

"Careful," he whispered sarcastically, "you look like you're about to kiss me."

"Ha ha" she whispered back, throwing his humor right back at him, then she flitted her eyes away and murmured, "it's cuz I was scared I was gonna kiss her…"

"Oh Hemo," he began but was cut off when commotion roared up again, as Matt ambled down the stairs and Dianna followed behind him,

"We heard shouting?" She questioned lightly, laughing as Matt nearly fell on his face over Chris's discarded shoes. He righted himself and immediately sat on the floor across from the couch next to Naya. Before his sudden entrance, she had been sitting alone and staring at Heather in an almost hurt confusion, completely unbeknownst to the blonde. Her attention was returned to her boyfriend fairly quickly though as she leaned upwards to peck him on the lips but pushed him away with a "Hey!" - that grabbed Heather's attention in an instant - preventing him from getting too handsy.

_Oh, gag_….Heather thought, actively trying to deny the swell of jealousy that rose up within her. She pushed it down with a swallow and shouted out, "So are we playing or what?"

She was, really, the master of deflection.

The room rose up in drunken cheers and an airy "woot woooot!" from Vanessa that made her smile despite herself as everyone arranged themselves on the floor so that those on the couch could see everyone as well.

Mark – who must have come in with Chris while she was detaching herself from Naya, Heather noted with a bitter smirk - quickly took control of the game.

"Alright, so everybody's got their beers in hand, right? And possibly a back-up beer too?" He winked in the general direction of absolutely no one, and continued, "I'll just start up the drinking nice and easy. Never have I ever drank a beer in the past hour!"

"That's cheating," slurred Kevin, "you're supposed to point out what you ain't dun."

"I know," he replied proudly, "see? My beer's still not open. It's been all hard liquor for me. Now drink, losers."

Everyone in the room took a long pull of their beer.

The game continued on – "Never have I ever been to Mexico!" "Never have I ever done body shots!" – until nearly everyone in the room was cracking open their second beer. Until Dianna finally said something that made everyone either quirk their eyebrows or giggle in drunken curiosity,

"Never have I ever had sex….in the past week."

Cory and Lea immediately drank and Kevin exaggerated a gagging fit.

After a few seconds of hesitation Heather drank too….but then felt a flash of acute panic as every one's eyes drifted not to her….but to Taylor.

She elbowed him abruptly in the ribs and he yelped, drinking nearly half of his second beer in his surprise.

"Sorry, guys," he laughed it off, "I must not have been paying attention. With a beautiful lady by my side…you know how it is."

The minute attention was diverted from the pair, Taylor turned to give her a look that clearly read "seriously? Are you fucking with me right now?"

She shrugged casually with a bit of a smug grin, but he didn't seem as amused as she was. He probably didn't mind the thought of her sleeping with someone else…_I mean, duh right? _ Heather giggled to herself – the poor, sweet guy just didn't like being made into a liar. He called into the chattering group, "Hey, my turn!" And it was then Heather noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes. _Oh jeez._

"Never have I ever had to take an IQ test!"

_Oh…for fuck's sake…._

"Fuck you," she bit out as she turned on him before facing the group, daring them to say something as she alone took a swig.

The awkward silence was probably one of the worst, most insulting experiences she had ever had in her short life. The only thing making her feel better was the knowing, soothing rub of Vanessa's hand on the middle of her back. Vanessa was no idiot, she knew what the others were thinking with their silent stares and clearing throats. But she also knew the _truth._

"Why the silence, guys?" Came Matt's abrasive voice. Naya instantly began rubbing at his bicep almost pleadingly, pathetically murmuring, "please", as Kevin flinched and Taylor locked his hard, suddenly alert eyes onto him. The others only acknowledged the tense atmosphere and waiting with baited breath. Matt continued cockily, "we write Brittany for her, right? It should have been expected."

Naya lurched her arm away from his and pulled away from him slightly – but in Heather's hurt eyes the brief distance and offended glare was simply not enough.

No one else moved a muscle but Dianna looked about to cry with rage and Vanessa's hand was digging violently into her lower back. She met Dianna's eyes and frowned, but her eyes showed gratefulness. About to move on from the mess, she lifted her beer and opened her mouth, but suddenly Taylor's voice, hard and the scariest she'd ever heard it, cut through the silence like a blade.

"Tell them, Heather."

She only looked at him, trying to hide the tears in her eyes and the anger they betrayed, shaking her head 'no.'

But he persisted, "I don't like how they're fucking looking at you. Tell them before I do after I take this asshole outside and beat him up."

Heather shot him a watery smile in thanks and tried to make eye contact with Naya, but to her horror the girl wasn't even looking in her direction at all. Unlike everyone else who seemed to be suddenly so interested in her, Naya was looking down at her hands. And this image alone was all it took.

"I was reading at an almost college level at the age of 9" She said clearly, looking around and secretly relishing their expressions as they shifted into either shame, awe, or shock. Vanessa giggled and Taylor scoffed, and she knew they were watching everyone's faces too.

"I don't go around saying I was offered a full ride to an elite college….but apparently I need too, huh." And there it was, the anger she finally let herself feel, as she felt it she noticed that jealousy joined in and before she could stop herself she continued speaking, even more harshly, "Screw you, Hodgson, okay? You don't know me, you don't know ANY of us, and you're the last person who I trust with writing Brittany."

She got up from the couch in a hurry, shooting an apologetic look to Vanessa and – as an afterthought, Dianna – as she grabbed Taylor's hand and yanking him up as well.

She noted dimly that this was the second time she had run from the goddamn room at what was supposed to be a celebration and hated herself a little bit for ruining it.

But that hatred became a little redirected when no one even shouted after the pair as they walked up the stairs and slammed the door.


	11. Chapter 10

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 10_

Heather's heart was beating too fast, her adrenaline still pumping from the anger and shame as she leaned against the wall across from the basement door, while Taylor just stood there uncertainly.

"Taylor!" She bit out, then noticed how unkind the outburst seemed and winced apologetically. She took in a slow breath said more softly, "Tay….could you text Dianna? Tell her I'd like if she came back with us. I never got to thank her….for obviously having more faith in me than everyone else down there. Ness doesn't count, because she already knew but…."

Taylor cut her off calmly as he reached in his pocket for his phone,  
"Yea, I know. It's okay. I'll text her now."

After several minutes Dianna came up the stairs pretty steadily, although to everyone's surprise a weaving Kevin followed shortly after.

"Hey, Heath," he drawled, shoving through Taylor and Dianna to get to Heather, "just wanted to let you know – that, like, my B is sendin' her boo home because of you. She's pissy wit him. Yea…."

Heather looked to Dianna for confirmation as she held up the wasted boy. Dianna nodded and she tried to fight back a grin in response.

"Thanks Kev…." She murmured, lightly leading him into Taylor's arms. Taylor obediently held him up but looked to her as if to say, 'are you kidding?'

She ignored him.

"D…I kinda was wondering if you'd come back with us tonight, just to hang? I – I'd rather not be alone. And I can tell you took how everything down there went a lot differently than the rest of the guys. Thank you."

"It's not a problem Heather," Dianna replied kindly, "Matt was wrong. Not as if that in itself is surprising. Of course I'll come home with you – I'm about ready to crash and burn anyway. Tonight was one big tiring mess." She rolled her eyes, ran her hand gently down HeMo's arm and turned to Taylor,

"I think I'll bring drunky back downstairs first though, if you don't mind."

She did just that and soon after the three of them where getting into Taylor's car, with both girls in the back seat because it was apparent they were both getting a little woozy and wanted to lean on each other for the ride.

Once they got back to Heather's place Taylor found his spare key in the glove compartment – the one he was expressly ordered to never, ever use without texting the girl a half hour in advance at least – and opened the door, making sure the two weaving and stumbling goof-balls got inside. He could tell that neither of them had ever reached beyond the point of tipsy that night, but exhaustion had hit them all like a freight train once the drama of the night was passed. As Taylor tried to think of a good way to say to Heather, "Try not to accidentally take her clothes of in your sleep" without him coming off as a dick, he was saved by her walking over to him and wrapping him in an unexpected hug.

"Thank you," she murmured into his neck, "I know starting all that trouble wasn't your intention. Matt's an ass."

He laughed and patted her on the shoulder, "yea, he is. Now uh….go take Dianna to your room or something before she falls asleep sitting up like that on the couch."

Dianna heard him and got up, mumbling "I'm fine…"

His only answer was to laugh some more as he released the blonde from his arms.

"You can just sleep with me tonight, Di – Her eyes widened, "I mean – I don't mean it in that way! I would never take advantage of y-

"Heather!" Taylor said firmly, shaking his head, "ix-nay on the ay-gay girlfriend. I don't think she'd _ever think_ you mean it that way, eh?"

He put a clear emphasis on the words and Dianna looked between the two of them, confused.

"Oookay," she drew out. "I think we all need to get some sleep. Heather we can talk about everything in the morning, I can tell you're still bothered by what happened before. Love you."

"I love you too Di," Heather smiled, walking over to grab the girl's hand and lead her to her room.

"Goodnight Taylor!" they called as they both flopped onto the mattress.

They heard him chuckle deeply, before he shouted back,

"Night, ladies!"

They were asleep before he shut the front door.


	12. Chapter 11

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 11_

Heather woke with a startled moan as sunlight streamed against her face and she found herself intertwined with a warm body for the second time that week, which she would be quick to say wasn't exactly unusual - but this time it was….

_Oh god, Dianna?_

She wriggled her arms free from around the girl's waist and darted her eyes down to their joined torsos. When she looked back up, her friend's eyes were open and shining with laughter.

"Did you just check to see if we were clothed?"

Heather blushed….and Dianna basically cackled.

Which made her blush some more and roll over so she was facing away from the girl. Dianna noticed her embarrassment and smiled fondly, scooting forward into her back and resting her chin on her shoulder.

"Why are you so embarrassed, HeMo?"

Heather frowned, though she knew Dianna could not see her.

"I remember acting really weird last night," she admitted nervously.

"Really? Because all I remember was being tipsy as fuck and falling asleep!" Dianna teased, poking her tongue out so that it was just barely in Heather's line of sight. Heather snorted and rolled over onto her back. Dianna did the same and they both sighed as the sun made them crinkle their noses and squeeze their drowsy eyes shut.

After a minute or so, Heather began spastically wiggling her legs and butt on the mattress, making Dianna turn to her and shake her head in confused amusement.

"Heather, what –

"I hate falling asleep in my jeans!" she exclaimed with a wince, leaping up and shimmying out of them as she hopped over to her dresser on her tangled up feet. She removed her feet from the prison that was her crumpled pants before she had the chance to do something dumb like fall on her face and yanked on the first pair of shorts she found.

Dianna sat up and watched the entire spectacle, desperately holding in a giggle-fit.

"Are you always this uncomfortable in your clothes in the morning?" She asked with light sarcasm lacing her bubbly voice.

"I'm not usually in clothes in the morning" Heather shot back instantly as she flopped back down onto the bed next to where Dianna was seated.

Heather's eyes nearly popped out of her head the second she hit the pillow as she realized what she had said, and Dianna let loose her laughter at last. When they both had finally calmed (meaning, Dianna had stopped clutching her stomach desperately and Heather's face had resumed being a normal color), Heather sat up and faced Dianna cross-legged. They both let the air just hang between them for a moment until Dianna decided she had to ruin it.

She winked.

"I guess if you're not used to being clothed that means I intruded on your precious Taylor time, huh?"

Heather choked on her own saliva as she opened her mouth to simultaneously shout "NO" _and_ force herself not to do so, giving the 'awkward cough' a whole new, literal meaning.

Dianna _actually_ leaned over to punch her in her upper back, making her yelp…but also inexplicably stop coughing.

"Thanks – I mean, sorry," she sputtered, "I mean…." She took in a deep gulp of air and guided her eyes up towards the ceiling, composing herself there for a moment before coming back down to look Dianna in the eye.

"Maybe we should talk," she said slowly, "about that."

Dianna tilted her head, unsure of the subject change and sensing a weird shift in the energy of the room.

"About….what?" She asked just as softly and slowly.

She had to lean in to understand what HeMo said when she said it, because it was nothing more than a shaky whisper,

"Taylor."

She put her hand over her friend's and nodded, trying to mask her concern.

"It's okay. Yea. We can talk. Should we go get…." She looked at the clock by Heather's bedside (11:09 AM), "lunch?"

Heather didn't answer, just gazed at her hand that was now interlocked with Dianna's. She wondered, ridiculously, if Dianna would still be holding her hand so casually if…if she _knew._

"Okay," she said finally, pretending to be happier than she was with the idea, "let's go get lunch. I'm starving…"

(She really didn't feel like she could eat a single bite of anything ever again).


	13. Chapter 12

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 12_

Once seated at the sushi place Heather decided she was _so _sick of awkward silences and immediately apologized to Dianna,

"I'm sorry I haven't been chilling out with you guys as much. I've been…distracted. Kind of getting used to the idea that Glee is leaving me behind, I guess."

Dianna nearly did a spit take with her water in her haste to disagree, but Heather waved her hand and 'shushed' her as nicely as she could.

Dianna didn't listen, swallowed and responded, "Heather…Glee's not leaving you behind. We all love you. You're one of us, for God's sake….we'd never let that happen."

Heather rolled her eyes, "I never said my friends were leaving me. I kinda just admitted that I know the show is moving on without me. My character's not big enough…."

_I'm not big enough. Not good enough for Naya,_ she filled in the blanks in her head, shaking it off with a distracted sigh as she frowned down at her menu. Dianna remained confused, and she looked up into her eyes guiltily, almost as if she felt as if she was being petty,

"They're messing with Brittana," She explained. "That's….that's my thing. Brittana and dancing, that's why I'm here. Everything's changing, Di."

Dianna looked over her menu at the girl and gave her a sympathetic smile, "we don't really know what's happening yet, hon. Give it some time, okay? You've got the whole summer to live in the moment. Brittana's…what is it – 'so on'?" She giggled as Heather gave her a look as if to say, "excuse me?"

"You….oh my God Heather just get internet media"

Heather grinned and teased her, "no but seriously on what?"

"Who's on what?" Dianna teased back.

"What the what?"

"Yes, the what."

"Where?"

…..they both snorted and stared each other down jokingly until the waiter arrived to take their orders. When the man walked away with their menu's Dianna muttered under her breath about their previous antics,

"But none of that made any sense" and Heather shook her head, amused.

"I missed you, Di."

"I've missed you too, HeMo. But – while we wait for our delicious raw fish…do you want to get started on explaining to me what's been going on between you and Taylor? It's getting pretty hard for me to hide my concern over here."

Heather swallowed nervously and downed most of her water in one gulp, before replying, "uh…sure. But there's no reason to be concerned."

Dianna gave her a sharp look, which she conceded to with,

"Okay so I'm concerned but it's just because I'm nervous. But you shouldn't be."

"Is he hurting you, HeMo? Did he cheat on you or something? Are you guys fighting or –

"Woah!" Heather exclaimed, interrupting her, "Woah with the 20 questions, I'm gonna stop you there. No, not possible, and no."

Dianna let out a breath, "Good. Okay….that's good," she paused. "But wait…what's not possible?"

"Him cheating on me isn't," She admitted, trying for a casual shrug but probably just appearing twitchy. She gave herself an 'A' for effort, at least. But honestly, this was killing her. Her skin crawled and her tongue felt stuck to the roof of her mouth when Dianna asked the logical question:

"Why?"

She mumbled unintelligibly, almost on purpose really – to buy herself time.

"…what was that?"

"I said," she clenched her hands tightly together in her lap and stared down at them, "we're not together."

"So you guys did break up then," she supplied 'helpfully'. Heather still didn't look up from her lap but shook her head 'no.'

"Heather…" Dianna prompted softly, "look at me honey. I don't understand."

Heather did as she was told, slowly raising her head to face her friend again, who noted that her cheeks were strangely pale and her eyes were red. She blanched.

"You're not….are you going to faint or something? You're really starting to freak me out. Are you pregnant? Is that why you guys are no longer together?"

Heather snorted as she shook her head adamantly 'no' again, flitted her eyes sideways and admitted quietly, "We were never really together…" she trailed off.

Dianna raised her eyebrows and waited.

"We've never even really….slept together."

Dianna's mouth opened and closed several times over before she settled on simply saying,

"Okay, now I REALLY don't understand."

_What a way with words, Di,_ Heather couldn't stop herself from sarcastically thinking, but then she wanted to smack herself for it because she wasn't handling this conversation very well either. She tried a different tactic.

"I need you to say to me right now that you'll try to understand me here, okay? Because this is the first time I've ever really done this before and – and I – I mean I just don't want things to be weird and it wasn't this hard with Taylor because –

"HEATH!"

Heather jumped in her seat slightly and her mouth snapped shut, she breathed in through her nose rapidly and pulled a panicky face that sent Dianna reeling,

"Heather, Heather, I didn't mean to shout at you I'm just really worried right now. You're worrying me. I love you, please tell me what's going on." She reached forward to gently grab a hold of Heather's forearm and tug lightly, prompting the girl to release her clenched hands at last and move them back to the table. Dianna covered both of them with her own and leaned forward, because she somehow knew whatever was causing her friend so much distress would not be something she'd want to admit in a voice much higher than a whisper.

"I'll understand, whatever it is. Okay?"

Heather nodded and choked out, "O-K".

She took a final breath and looked into hazel eyes with a sudden burst of determination.

"Di…I'm gay."

They both froze simultaneously as the words hung fast in the air. A feather could hit the ground at their feet and they would probably startle at the sound. Heather forgot how to breathe.

"D-Di?" She stuttered, searching her friend's eyes for a sense of fear, surprise, rejection…anything, really. But she saw nothing. Until Dianna finally blinked, released her hands, leaned back in her chair and released an airy chuckle,

"You – I mean…you're actually gay? You're gay….out of all of us you're the one who's _actually_ gay."

"Literally gay" She nodded, fake - somberly. _Damn, she was starting to get sick of that word…too bad._

Her confirmation hung over them for a few seconds as Dianna seemed to process all over again.

"Wow…that's…."

"Shocking?" Heather supplied hesitantly. Dianna shook her head,

"Shock is too harsh a word. But it's surprising." She looked up with a thankful smile as their waiter brought over their many plates of sushi, and instantly placed a piece in her mouth, giving herself a chance to literally chew over her next thought.

"Hmm…" she hummed, smacking her lips, "you should try one of mine by the way, these are damn good. So Taylor's….what? What is Taylor?"

"He's a who?"

"No!" Dianna laughed, slapping her arm, "don't start that again. I'm serious!"

Heather giggled a little insanely, still a little bit shaken but so relieved by her friend's calm and reassuring reaction that she had no idea what to do with her joy.

"Sorry, sorry! Taylor's…he's my best friend," she smiled.

"Your best friend" Dianna repeated blankly, "who you've never had a relationship with at all."

"Well yes…I mean no. We kind of had a thing in high-school until I got confused and explained that I didn't think I liked him that way…and then we tried the long distance thing three years ago for like, a week before he was the one who told me it wasn't working out. He knew me better than I knew myself, back then…"

Dianna nodded in understanding, except – "and so how did this poor guy, - uh, no offence – she cut in, "get roped into playing your forever-and-ever sweetheart?"

"I was young when I got to LA. I was scared…and I wanted someone I could cling to in public in case people ever became suspicious, of what I didn't really know…I just realized that I wasn't around men as much as people wanted me to have been. I didn't want my career to be over before it started, and Taylor – he loves me, you know? And I love him, a lot…."

She took her first few bites of sushi and couldn't help but groan in approval as she mumbled over them, "and at first," she swallowed with a sheepish grin and repeated,

"and at first it was like, fine, because it meant I could take my best guy to all these cool events….but then the fake kisses got awkward…and with Glee kind of changing this year we finally officially broke our "thing" off, promised not to lie about our relationship anymore, and I kinda only told him straight up that I was not-so-straight up… - hah – for the first time last night. Before Kevin's."

"Oh."

"Yea…"

…

…

"So…. Do you want one of my rainbow rolls or what?"


	14. Chapter 13

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 13_

"I'm just gonna come in to grab my clothes from last night, thanks for letting me borrow some of your stuff by the way," said Dianna as they parked in front of Heather's place and got out of the Heather's car. Heather looked down at the oversized skirt her friend was wearing – which so obviously belonged to her, and laughed lightly,

"It's no problem Di, it's all very…flow-y on you."

Dianna rolled her eyes with a grin, twirling showily down the sidewalk just to make Heather smile.

Once inside Heather reached into her pocket to habitually check her phone and saw a text from Ashley, marked as being sent 10 minutes before.

**H, I'm coming back from the vet with Zach! Did you even make it home last night, doofus? Peace! x **

She shook her head fondly and left her phone on the kitchen table before following Dianna into her bedroom, where the girl was already searching all over for one of her shoes.

"I think it might be under my dress over there," she commented helpfully, pointing over to where she saw the toe of a black heel peeking out from a pile of clothes. Dianna murmured, "thanks" and proceeded to tear the pile apart, reminding Heather of a human hurricane.

_Looks like I'm cleaning today, huh. _

Dianna chucked one of her bras as if it was nothing from the floor onto her dresser top.

_And possibly doing laundry - _She added in her head as she calculated that about 80% of her clothes were either actually dirty or had been thrown on the floor by her and Dianna earlier that afternoon in their haste to get dressed and leave the apartment (which meant, of course, that everything was covered in cat hair).

And speaking of cats, she was suddenly alerted to the sound of her front door being slammed open, and within seconds Ashley's voice could be heard echoing through the place as an excited Zach scampered briefly into view.

"HEATHER! I HAVE ARRIVED! ARE YOU DECENT?"

Dianna stood up straight, her shoes dangling from her one hand as she gave Heather a deer-in-the-headlights type of look. Heather laughed heartily, she probably should have warned Di that Ashley was coming back…and that this sort of greeting was pretty commonplace for them.

She mouthed, 'it's okay,' to the flustered girl with a cheeky wink and turned to the open bedroom door to shout back,

"DECENT ENOUGH FOR YO MAMA."

She heard Ashley crack up and looked over her shoulder to grin toothily at Dianna, pleased with herself.

"_HOW_ DECENT?" Ashley called back after a moment or two, pretending to be offended and sounding slightly closer.

"LIKE WOAH DECENT!" Heather struck a rapper type pose, arms crossed over her chest goofily, much to their shared amusement.

Suddenly Ashley came into view, theatrically covering her eyes with both her hands and none-too-gracefully bouncing off both sides of the hallway as she made her way towards the pair. Her voice was at a more reasonable level but just as teasing and mischievous as she wondered aloud,

"by 'woah decent' do you mean 'hand not down your pants and _totally_ not jerking off to Naya' decent? Because I remember that one time… and I'm so not moving my hands until you say yes because wow T.M -

She bumped into something soft and human-shaped…._oh, it was probably Heather_, she thought, and removed her hands as she backed away…..

Only to come face to face with two horrified girls – Heather looking like she was about to cry or run from the room and Dianna looking as though she had been suddenly and without warning punched in the face.

"Oh _balls_."

Both girls said nothing, nor did they move a muscle –

"Fuck, Heather – oh my God, I'm sorry! I'll just! – she turned abruptly and made a move to dart from the room which finally woke Heather from her stupor, as she lurched forward to grab her roommate by the arm.

"Ash," she pleaded, her wide eyes getting teary, "don't leave me alone to deal with this, please" she shot a meaningful look sideways towards where Dianna still stood, now looking at her feet in embarrassment and scuffing one of them back and forth across the wooden floor, pretending to be fascinated by the light squeaking sound every forward swipe would make.

Ashley met her eyes, still scared, and biting her lip hard enough to nearly make it bleed.

"Did I just OUT you?" She whispered urgently, "Please…say no. I didn't right? I feel like I'm about to go walk off a bridge if I did."

"You didn't, I just told her" Heather said quietly, before leaning forward to whisper secretively (and somewhat bitterly) into Ashley's ear, "but…_Naya."_

"Oh shit." Ashley's eyes widened and Heather turned away to face Dianna, fighting off a frown,

"Di….look at me."

Dianna looked up from her feet at last but aimed her gaze over Heather's shoulder instead.

"Please?" Heather urged, her flushed cheeks turning redder as she tried to fight off the shame of shocking her friend so horribly.

_She probably thinks I'm disgusting! _Her paranoid mind cried out. But after a minute of the three of them just breathing shallowly, Dianna's eyes finally locked on her own. She didn't look disgusted, or angry, just confused and possibly a little…hurt?

"I…I wasn't ready to tell anyone. It's…it's not necessarily something I'm proud of, keeping a secret like this for so long – and if she ever found out…"

Dianna tentatively reached forward to place her hand on Heather's shoulder, as she defended Heather awkwardly, "I mean…I get it – Naya's beautiful, and sweet…"

"Yea!" Ashley cut in loudly, obviously dealing with the embarrassing moment in her own abrasive way, "I mean who _wouldn't_ have guessed Heather'd have a raging lady boner for her once you knew she was a –

"DON'T talk about her like that!" Heather shouted, turning on her, and making them all freeze, "I mean…uh…" her voice got very small once more, "I'm sorry Ash, I didn't mean…" She trailed off, wiping a stray tear from her cheek and hoping no one would notice.

"You love her," Dianna cut in, her voice certain but awed, "Oh my God. Heather…" her eyes softened and she slid her hand down to tenderly wrap it around Heather's wrist.

"I'm so sorry, honey," she murmured, cupping Heather's cheek and turning her face towards her own. She needed Heather to hear this part loud and clear - "and I'm sorry I reacted the way I did – I _promise_ I won't tell."

"Thanks D…." Heather sighed and swung their joined arms through the air absentmindedly, smiling fondly at her friend, "I'm sorry that this one over here" she jerked her head in the sheepish girl's direction, "shocked you. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you…"

"There's no need to be sorry," Dianna interrupted quickly.

"I know…but I can't help but think, like, I will be anyway, once I force myself to come out to her this week…or…eventually, and she figures it all out."

Seconds passed after that, no one knowing quite what to say, neither Ashley or Dianna wanting to get Heather's hopes up by denying her worry but not daring to reference Naya's assumed straight-ness, or her boyfriend, or –

Ashley shuffled forward shyly, requesting in an exaggeratedly cute voice: "group hug?"

And the three of them fell into each other's arms in a tight embrace.


	15. Interlude II

I can hold my heart in two

_Interlude II_

Her feet pounded against the pavement of the secluded trail as her thoughts whirled around at an even quicker, more ferocious pace.

She couldn't help but wonder what the _hell_ she was doing. Why did she have to go and have a self-realizing moment THIS week? Why couldn't it have been NEXT week? Or maybe NEVER? Why did she have to go and shift her dynamic with Taylor, and Dianna, thereby prompting this newfound urge to be free and open, and tell everyone else?

It was so inconvenient. She was fine with being secretive, with being clueless to her own identity…wasn't she? Even though it was hardly 3 days ago that she was basically both those things…she couldn't even remember what it was like.

As she pondered, she deceived herself; she pretended that she was actually concerned about any of those things at all.

They were good excuses for this angry, adrenaline pumping excursion. But they didn't have gorgeous brown eyes, a laugh to die for, that _smile_ and flowing long hair –

_Ahem._

Needless to say, Dianna and Taylor were not the cause of her angst.

_I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay. _ She chanted inside her head, experimentally. No shock or fear, and certainly no disgust was present within her as she rehearsed the repetitive, simple phrase. She was just…practicing, she supposed – so that later that night everything would be easier.

_I'm gay._

No. That part she was okay with. That part she dealt with on a weekly, sometimes daily basis, in ways as simple as checking out a woman as she walked by her on the street, or as complicated and satisfying as a "night on the town" turned "a night going down". …

_Ha!_

She snorted at her perverted wit, huffed a large breath and picked up the pace as the trees thinned out around her and the trail began heading uphill.

Mile 4 was finished. Now she only had 4 more to go.

That's it- 4 more miles until she considered herself properly exhausted, relaxed and desperate enough to walk back to her car, call her best-friend and invite her over for drinks, a movie….and what could be the most relationship altering conversation of their young lives.

_You love her, you're not scared of her._

_You just love her, it's okay. You don't even have to tell her that part. She plays a lesbian….you'll be fine!_

_She loves you, too._

Heather's legs faltered and she nearly tripped as that last fleeting thought assaulted her without warning.

Naya did love her…but not in the way she needed to be loved. And if she knew Naya would accept her for who she was...then why was she so fucking terrified?


	16. Chapter 14

I can hold my hear t in two

_Chapter 14_

Heather sat in her kitchen, freshly showered and staring at her cellphone, willing it to ring or even burst into flames, anything to delay the next call she was about to make.

_You had the guts to drive over to Vanessa's and tell her after your run…._ Her mind nagged at her. But she knew in her heart that it couldn't compare. Vanessa was a good friend, a great one in fact – and when she blurted "I'm a lesbian" like a fool the moment the girl opened the door, the only reaction she got after the initial word-vomit induced whiplash was a quick hug that ended with a playful slap on the ass and an almost giddy exclamation of, "that explains why you only ever hang out with smokin' hot women! Get it, gurl!"

She chuckled at the memory, shaking her head. That girl deserved more credit for being the best new friend in the universe, in her opinion…

She also called up Kevin, Zach and Harry and invited them to go clubbing the next evening. She figured with those guys she'd be better off, well, throwing them _into_ her 'gayness' so to speak, instead of sitting them down and making them fidget while she worked up the courage to say the goddamn words once more.

_They're just words. _She berated herself. And in a way, she acknowledged the truth of her thoughts. But she also acknowledged in the back of her mind that these words were not 'just' anything. They were the key to living a life of freedom, of no longer hiding. They were also pretty scary to voice in a Hollywood environment, and clear proof of all the years she had been lying to her closest friends. She may have never yelled out "I'm straight!" from the rooftops, but she didn't need to.

She had flaunted Taylor as her committed boyfriend for years just to make it through each day, so she could happily continue to live her unspoken of double life at night. She learned pretty fast that going out at night to dance and drink and..._ex cetera_ with a bunch of girls was never an issue for the media, the show producers or her friends and fans alike, and that hiding in plain sight worked wonders when the whole universe assumed that because you were a pretty girl apparently dating a pretty boy, you could never be anything but totally hetero.

But she was done with all that now. And the next item on her suddenly daunting to-do list (she didn't even want to think of the items at the bottom of that list…like 'call PR' and 'talk to mom') was the scariest thing she was going to have to go through with on her high-speed (and probably kind of reckless) mission towards being finally, comfortably 'out'.

She was still staring at her phone.

_Just call her_, her mind urged. _Call her call her fucking call he-_

_OKAY._

She winced at her own furious mental pattern and abruptly pressed the speed dial. She almost immediately regretted it.

Naya picked up on only the second ring, and her eyes widened as she stared at the wall above the sink and stuttered out,

"Oh, h-hey Nay!"

"Hemo! I thought you forgot my number or something! What's up?" She could practically hear Naya's wink through the phone. And despite her nervousness it made her grin.

"Nothing at all! I mean – do you wanna come over…do one of our old movie-and wine nights?"

"Right now?" Naya responded, sounding almost confused. Heather panicked, she knew it was a bad idea to resume contact so suddenly, she knew it! Matt was probably with her right now…ugh.

"If you can't or you don't want to that's fine we could always…another d-

"Heath! It's fine. Sounds good, actually," Naya interrupted warmly with a small giggle that reddened the blonde's cheeks, "just let me change out of my pajama pants and I'll head over."

"You don't have to!" Heather blurted, before literally smacking herself in the forehead as she explained more calmly, " I mean – I'm just in sweats."

Naya giggled again, "okay, movie pajama party it is. I'll see you."

Click.

Heather dropped her phone onto the table with a heavy sigh and rested her head on the flat surface, fisting her hands lightly in her hair.

_You can do this, you can DO this._

…

…

She couldn't do this.

Her and Naya were on her couch, laying side by side and pressed rather close together, which she wouldn't be overthinking on a usual day because the two had always been physically affectionate. It was just…part of her friendship.

Tonight though, as they both continuously reached around each other to take sips from the same large glass of wine, Heather couldn't help but worry that this might be the last time they ever did anything like this…ever again.

It seemed really important to tell your best friend, your soul-mate (but she tried not to think about that second part, often) that you were a lesbian. It seemed even more important to tell the coworker you had repeatedly had to kiss for work purposes…that you might be enjoying the kisses a bit too much.

_God._ She was not only an awful friend…but an awful professional.

Naya heard her sigh, and in response scooted further into her so that her back was brushing Heather's breasts as she murmured over the movie soundtrack, "what's wrong?"

Heather coughed uncomfortably and sat up behind Naya, causing the girl to move and sit up as well, crouching on her knees so she could sit sideways and face her.

Heather reached for the remote and muted the television, refusing to meet her best-friend's eyes.

"Heather, honey, you're scaring me…." Naya started off, quietly, leaning forward to brush her hand on Heather's cheek. When Heather flinched at the contact Naya frowned and pulled away as if burned.

"Heather…." She began again, this time with a note of warning in her voice gently overlying her concern.

Heather reached over to the coffee table, took a long sip of their wine and placed it down again, hard. She turned so she too was kneeling and facing Naya, gulping down the liquid before she dared to meet nervous brown eyes.

"I'm kind of a terrible person…" she began softly, her voice tinged with shame as her hands clenched onto the fabric bunched around her knees.

"I'd like to disagree," Naya frowned, "actaually, I wouldn't just like to," she asserted with determination, "I definitely disagree."

Heather didn't say anything in response, so she brought her point home with a teasing "My bestie is not a terrible person. My bestie is the best –y!"

Heather shook her head and fought to keep her eyes on the girl that was smiling at her reassuringly when she didn't even know what was going on. She wouldn't be smiling, soon enough. She wouldn't be saying any of those nice things…

She shook her head again as she replied defiantly, "No. You don't understand. I – I'm a liar!"

Naya scooted forward and ran her hand up and down her arm, but Heather yanked herself away. Seeing Naya treat her so sweetly, like she was everything good in the world, made her bubble up with anger at herself and at the universe at surprising speed. Why did she have to feel this way about a straight girl that just happened to be the best friend she'd ever had? Why did she have to be dumb enough to decide coming out would help with any of this? _Why had she asked her here?_

"I'm gay, Naya," she blurted out flatly, her expression hard , "I'm a lesbian and I've been hiding it from everyone because even though I've-…" she stopped herself from revealing too much of her love life and calmed her voice, if only slightly "somehow I managed to hide it from even myself. I'm such a liar that even_ I_ had to force the truth out of me."

Naya was gaping at her, her expression one of total shock, and was that hurt in her beautiful eyes?

Heather whimpered out, "You hate me," as she turned her body to sit on the couch the proper way, watching the ending of the muted movie with unseeing eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Naya asked, pleadingly, "I would have understood. Hell, everyone would have understood. Think of the environment we work in. On set – you wouldn't have to hide…"

"Look at where we live!" Heather interrupted, a little too loudly, "we're still in LA. This is Hollywood! I didn't want to be judged…and I didn't – I didn't even think I was really gay. Sometimes I even believed my fake relationship with T was real even though we hardly ever kissed, except for the cameras…"

"Fake relationship?" Naya exclaimed, tossing her hands into the air, "is there anything else you'd like to tell me, Heather? Anything else you've been hiding from your supposed best friend?"

_Yea…that I'm in love with you,_ Heather's mind supplied darkly. And suddenly she was sobbing, spinning around once more to dive into Naya's arms and bury her face against her neck.

"You DO hate me! I knew this was going to happen!" She cried. "I'm sorry I've been hiding for so long and I'm sorry you're not even the first to know and I'm sorry that…." She hiccoughed and clutched at Naya even harder, making the girl wheeze out a surprised gasp, "and I'm sorry that I'm gay!" Heather added loudly, desperately through another choked sob.

At that Naya pulled back, holding Heather at arm's length by her shoulders and looking as though she was about to cry herself.

"No," she choked out, "No no no, honey – she sighed, releasing Heather to rub her hands over her own face in her distress, pushing her hair out of the way as she bent forward to stare down toward her knees, "that's not how I wanted to react at all," she whispered, suddenly embarrassed and angry with herself.

"Don't lie to me too, Nay…" Heather whispered back, watching her intently even if she refused to look back. But she did look up after a moment, putting on a brave face and meeting Heather's puffy eyes.

"I'm not lying. I really- I am sorry. I was being a jerk, a jealous and confused jerk….can you forgive me?"

Heather nodded slowly, but couldn't help but ask, trying to keep the hopefulness out of her voice, "jealous?"

Naya sniffled and nodded back, shyly admitting, "I don't like knowing that there are big things about you that even_ I_ don't know about you."

"So…" Heather confirmed with a semi-forced giggle, to make sure she understood, "you were jealous…of _me_, for knowing something about _me_?"

Naya sighed, but managed to smile, "yea….it's silly."

They sat in somewhat comfortable silence for a while, just looking at each other until the smiles and light-hearted crinkles returned to their faces. Eventually Naya spoke surely, as if it was the most important thing she would ever have to say,

"Don't you ever, ever apologize for who you are ever again, okay? No matter what anyone else may say to you, what they might do – you're Heather fucking Morris and you're my best fucking friend. Fuck! I mean -You're you, damnit!"

Heather rolled her eyes at her playfully, though she understood the real sentiment behind her friend's dramatic words.

"I understand," she said with a sweet, loving smile, as she let Naya pull her into another, tender hug.

She ignored the voice in the back of her head telling her not to enjoy herself _too _much and allowed herself the simple bliss of breathing in everything Naya, of feeling the skin of her arms and neck against her own.

_Almost like being whole_, she noticed sadly, sensing that the other half of her heart was beating so close.


	17. Chapter 15

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 15_

Zach, who offered to be designated driver of the night, swung by to pick up Heather last. Harry and Kevin were already excitedly seated in the back of the car. Harry was grinning and Kevin was nearly bouncing on his seat, because all they knew of the plans for the night was that Heather was treating them to a 'super-secret, special clubbing experience'.

And they knew how adventurous Heather could be – so quite honestly the two of them combined were expecting something along the lines of a glow-in-the-dark, alcohol water gun shooting, pyrotechnic rager.

….they were pretty far from being right, but they weren't exactly wrong. The club, called…gurlbar? – didn't seem too flashy, at least from the outside.

Kevin noted inwardly that there were no fireworks bursting out the chimney, and Harry was upset at the lack of neon colors.

Zack did a double-take at the name, and dramatically fell against the hood of his car.

"Oh be still my heart!" He cried, "I knew it!"

Kevin and Harry looked nervously between the two as Heather stepped towards him and asked, alarmed, "You knew what? HOW?"

"Guys…." He said, turning towards the boys as he wiped away a false tear, "our baby girl's growing up. She's having her first straight-girl crisis! We're here as her wingmen at a LADY-BAR. Is that why giving the directions made you so nervous HeMo? You embarrassed?"

The guys all grinned at her, looking prepared to tease her for her "newfound experimentation".

Heather snorted, loudly.

Within minutes, she was giggling so much that they all thought she was insane.

"Oh, boy…" She wheezed, adjusting the knitted cap on her forehead, "let's just," another giggle, "go inside and see?"

"What does Tay think about this?" Kevin teased, ignoring her protests.

Heather gritted her teeth to prevent herself from guffawing once more and moved to nudge the boy forward, "we'll talk inside, you goof. Oh my god, just….let's go."

"Yea!" Zach chirped as they walked through the entrance and Heather sent a flirty smirk to the young brunette 'bouncer '- who winked back and waved them in.

Kevin, Harry and Zach, still totally oblivious to her comfort in the area and far too giddy, didn't notice any of this. Harry snickered delightedly as he looked around the busy, flashing room, speeding up his walk to catch up to Heather and saying into her ear loudly to combat the music, "So are we looking for a blonde for you to smooch, a brunette, OR –

He was shoved aside unceremoniously – and unintentionally - as a leggy, boi-ish girl hopped over the bar and ran straight into Heather's arms, wrapping her legs around the tall dancer's waist and pulling her face down for a sloppy kiss.

It looked a bit more than friendly, and Heather was hardly even fazed by the assault.

She lightly nipped at the girl's lower lip as she pulled away, grinning, "Hey Kate!"

She turned around, unknowingly facing her friends as she lightly placed the girl back on the ground.

To say they looked shocked would be a gross understatement - but Heather's attention hadn't been drawn back to them yet, too focused on the giddy conversation that always happens between people who haven't seen each other for an extended time,

"Hey Kate? HEY? Like you haven't been avoiding this place forever, you dog. The ladies all figured you'd been snatched up for good by some lucky girl!"

"I'm sorry!" She giggled, "I'm here now, aren't I?" She responded, running her hand down Kate's arm.

"So….no one's tied the elusive H down yet, then?"

"Not yet, though I've got my eye on someone from the 'outside'..." Heather smiled. She shook her head as the moment passed and her eyebrows darted up, boring her gaze into Kate's hazel eyes, "besides," she murmured, "we both know I do the tying."

She crashed back into reality as Harry flew into a coughing fit, Kevin let out a wheezed, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Oh hell naw" and Zach gasped.

Looking up from her…uh, 'friend', she cleared her throat and said, "oh, right…Kate, these are my friends. They're not normally so bewildered. Harry, Kevin, Zach….say hi?"

She blushed under their disbelieving stares.

"Hi-i," Kevin stuttered.

Harry grinned and waved.

Zach got a case of what she lovingly called the "Zach Hands" as he put down his chin and just…giggled at her.

She gave Kate's hand a squeeze with a roll of her eyes and said jokingly, "oh. I broke them." She leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "Catch me before I leave, okay?" then kissed her cheek and grabbed Kevin and Zach by the arms, man-handling them to the nearest empty table.

Harry followed numbly behind.

"Uh…so…Taylor?" Kevin queried, resting his elbows on the wooden surface.

"Who was that?" Harry exclaimed, overlapping Kevin.

"Can I see that again in slow motion?"

_Oh Zach_. Heather shook her head, amused.

"I'm gay."

….

…

"_Oh_."

"Say what?"

"I think I need to sit down," Zach lamented jokingly, holding his forehead. Kevin nudged him, grinning,

"You are sitting down!"

"Oh…" he turned to Heather, "then get us our beers. And then you'll talk." He gave her an almost fatherly 'you've got some explaining to do' type-look, and Heather nodded back sheepishly in response,

"Yea…and then I'll talk."

**A/N: Sorry guys, I know this chapter's a little short. But don't worry, the next chapter will technically be a Part 2, and the guys will get some 'steamy' answers from our favorite girl. Please review? :)**


	18. Chapter 16

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 16_

"So," Zach began, and Heather couldn't help but feel as though his eyes were boring into her soul, "you seriously brought us here so you could drop that on us? I'm assuming we're not the first to know."

She shrugged, although her facial expression remained somewhat guilty,

"I'm sorry guys – this week has been a killer, and I got tired of the dramatic speeches and awkward silences so…."

"So you figured, 'hey! I'll give them a free show!" Harry supplied, smiling. Heather leaned over Kevin to slap his arm and the four of them all laughed.

"Well…not exactly," she laughed, "it was more of a cop out. I knew I wouldn't be in this place long before something well….gay, happened. And I love you guys, I knew you'd take it well."

"Really well," Joked Kevin, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ew?"

Harry nodded at Zach in agreement "Ew."

"Yea, ew Kev," Heather finished off with a playful wink.

"What, too soon?" He replied, as everyone shook their heads at him.

There was silence as they all took the opportunity to pick up their drinks from the table and sip the foam off the top.

Heather acquired a bubbly looking mustache and wiped it off with the back of her hand, throwing looks around the table and daring one of her friends to make _that_ comment.

No one did, but she could have sworn she saw Kevin blush. He averted his eyes too quickly for her to really tell. She took pity on them when she saw the unsure, tell-tale looks on their faces and sighed,

"Okay – I'm only going to do this once guys. But I can tell this is _killing_ your testosterone filled brains, and I guess bringing you to a bar full of only girls who won't want to dance with you much was kinda evil…" She smirked and added, "Sorry Z," before leaning back and gripping the table to demonstrate she was 'bracing herself', because she was about to allow them to -

"Go ahead. Ask."

They looked between themselves nervously before turning back to her and playing dumb, questioning simultaneously,

"What?"

She scoffed and crossed her arms, raising her eyebrows at them.

"Oh, come on. I can see the curiosity on your shining, boyish little faces,"

-"I resent that!" – Harry interjected (he was mostly ignored),

"So what I'm saying," she continued, "is that as long as you idiots don't get outta control you can be a little perverted with me – I mean…I don't know how to explain it. But you can ask some questions. Okay? I may be scared to come out but I'm not scared of liking girls. Loving girls. Girls are hot."

She nodded sagely and finished off her beer.

The guys found themselves nodding numbly in agreement, still somewhat shocked to hear her saying such things whether they consciously realized it or not.

She laughed at the looks on her faces, "do you need to me to give you ideas of what to ask? No? I'm about to take the offer off this very sticky table..."

Hesitantly, Zach spoke up, "uhm…have you ever…" he waved his hand about vaguely,

"Kissed a girl? Fucked a girl? Made love to a girl? Dated one?"

Zach nodded, as Harry and Kevin leaned in eagerly to hear the answers.

"Yes." She said simply, smirking.

Zach opened his mouth to speak but Kevin cut him off, exclaiming, "yes to which?"

"I dunno – you tell me. You guys suck at asking questions. I'm gonna go grab us some shots." She got up without another word and weaved herself in and out of the crowd towards the bar. Kevin, Zach and Harry watched her leave until she disappeared, and then huddled together to converse in hushed tones, quickly,

"Guys," Harry began, "she's giving us an opportunity to pull our heads out of our asses and come up with some questions. Legit ones."

"But not vulgar ones," Zach supplied.

"Yea," Agreed Kevin, "we should ask one question each, and here's mine." They conversed in that way until Heather slammed a tray of four raspberry vodka shots onto the table, smiling in triumph as they scrambled to move their heads away from each other.

"Aaaand break," she drawled, lifting her shot and holding it out to them in a silent 'cheers' before downing it smoothly. They all reached for their own but she stopped them:

"Ah ah ah! You each can have your shot when you get the balls to ask one thing that's on your mind."

They blinked up at her owlishly.

"Oh come on!" She exclaimed, "What kind of potential bros are you? I took you to my bar, I'm willing to talk to you about 'the ladies', and you're too scared to speak?"

"How many girls have you had sex with!" Harry blurted out in a rush, rising to the challenge but covering his mouth with his hands immediately afterwards as if his tongue had betrayed him.

Heather nodded at him approvingly before reaching across the table to hand him a shot. He didn't move to drink it right away, instead he waited for the answer.

"Uhm….I think I can count the number on my two hands. Or maybe I can't. I'm not sure." She teased, he nodded, accepting that answer and rising the small cup to his lips as he followed up boldly with, "and do you only sleep with dancers? Because they can uh, keep up?"

"You're pretty strong, it's just ! – he began to add quickly, delaying taking his shot, when the girl gave him a look.

Her face purposefully became pretty neutral;

_Fight being cocky HeMo, fight it…._

"Well uh…not just dancers, as a rule. But yea…usually when she -whoever - gets tired I just give her one more go and then pretend to want to sleep…"

_Wow, that was a pretty Brittany way of delivering that sentence…._ She thought to herself, as Harry spit his shot out all over the table, Zach nearly fell out of his chair and Kevin's jaw dropped open, his eyes beginning to shine with what creepily resembled hero worship.

"I think I need to sit down" Zach repeated, his face coloring, as he righted himself on his chair.

"You are sitting down. Again. Still. You drunk boy?" Kevin reached over to mime feeling his forehead for a fever but he swatted him away, dazed.

"And here I was just going to ask if you've ever been in looooove," Zach sing-songed, folding his hands under his chin dreamily.

'Yea. Drunk.' Mouthed Harry to Kevin, snickering. Heather glared at them both before turning back to her friend,

"Awh, that's sweet Zach. And yea, I have…I have been. In the past! I mean."

_Real smooth Heather. 'ever been' – as in, before. No need to clarify. You dolt. _She mentally bitch-slapped herself before returning her attention back to Zach and his question.

"Her name was Dani," she smiled fondly, "we went to high-school together but I only realized my feelings for her after we graduated. You guys _have_ put it together that I was never actually dating Taylor, right?" She clarified, before continuing,

"We dated that summer….but then she ran off to LA and got here before me, while I was off trying out college. But we still see each other sometimes. As friends."

Zach picked up his shot and pretended to demonstrate how to drink it properly to Harry, who threw a napkin at him.

"And that Kate girl?..." Zach asked, trailing off once he had swallowed with a slight cough that made Harry laugh cruely.

"Not a girlfriend. Or – anything really. Besides a good friend."

Kevin opened his mouth.

"Yeees, who I've had sex with. Multiple times."

He closed it abruptly, shaking his head with wide eyes as if to say 'who me? I wasn't wondering that at all!'

Instead, his question was, "so are we here to find our girl a girlfriend, then?" He winked and nudged Heather somewhat roughly but she shook her head, "Nah…I'm not – I'm not exactly looking for a real girlfriend right now."

She waited for them to accept that as her full answer but they could probably detect the sudden melancholy in her voice – and she could tell they were waiting for more.

Zach voiced their curiosity openly right off the bat, and she cursed herself a bit for basically teaching them it was okay to do that. He didn't mean anything by it, he didn't know it was a sensitive subject, but when he disbelievingly inquired, "What? Why?" her gaze fell a bit and she drank Kevin's shot as well without even thinking about it, (blessedly the boy didn't dare protest).

"Because….there's this girl….and I'm fine with dating casually or going out to bars and hooking up, because it's fun – and sometimes even sweet….but this girl!" She sighed in such a 'disney-princess looking- towards- her- unattainable -prince' way that it probably, she knew, seemed ridiculous –

"I know that if she ever, _ever _even gave me the time of day I would drop anyone else. And I would never want to break up with someone like that. It's just not right!"

Zach frowned at her sympathetically, "and have you ever….told her this?"

"NO!" Heather spit out, alarmed, the guys reeled back, and she calmed herself.

"I never dared to," she whispered, "I'm scared….she's-

"Straight." Harry interrupted.

Heather looked at him sharply but nodded, "yea."

"You know…." Kevin began, hesitantly, "she may say she's straight…or you may think she is, I dunno. But you're a pretty special girl HeMo," they smiled at each other, "you might as well think about giving it a try. Test the waters…what's the worst that could happen?"

_I could lose my best friend._

She shook her head imperceptibly to clear her thoughts, "yea….maybe you're right."

_Maybe he is!_ Her brain taunted her, and instantly she blamed it on the alcohol.

"I'm gonna go dance for a while guys. See who's out there, y'know? If Kate comes by send her my way," she smiled at them as best as she could and winked, already preparing to get lost in the music so she could forget about everything and have a good time, like she promised herself she would. Like she always _did_, as long as certain things weren't brought up.

_Certain things…._

_Like Naya. _

Kevin and Harry smirked at her, nodding their approval, and Zach shot her a thumbs up. As she turned she heard one of them shout, "you go girl!" and she laughed. She definitely picked some good bros.

What she didn't know was that as she stepped onto the dance floor and began scoping the crowd casually while she bumped and grinded to the music, her boys were on an entirely different mission.

* * *

"Can we like, talk to them anyway? Even if we have to assume they're all gay?"

"You have a girlfriend, Kevin" Harry reprimanded lightly.

"I know! But I'm just saying! Like, are we an acceptable presence as long as our penises stay far, far away from their bodies?" Kevin continued.

"Some girls here could be bi!"

"Oh….you're right…there _are_ no men here but us. Damn."

"Try not to seem so sad, Zachy. We can take Heather out to a gay bar sometime, just for you – see how she likes being the odd one out."

"The gays love her, I've seen it," Zach moped, sinking his head down onto the table.

The other two laughed when they heard him mumble a muffled, whiny, "bitch."

* * *

**A/N: So, what does everyone think? A little more satisfying then the last chapter? And don't worry, if Heather ends up going home with Kate ( or someone else...) there'll be an 'interlude' about it for sure, and you'll learn a bit more about her or the random girl ;). Review?**


	19. Chapter 17

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 17_

"I can't believe you left your guys alone with a bunch of lesbos!" giggled Kate, clinging to Heather and swaying slightly. Heather grabbed her arms and pinned her against the back of the kitchen door with a smirk, effectively snapping the tipsy girl into a heated focus, lifting one hand to put a finger to her lips. "Shhh" she laughed airily, "besides, I left them there with my tab running AND with Sara and Lilly – who if I remember them right will make out _anywhere_. So it's free booze and a free show – I'm _such_ a good friend!"

"Mmm, yea you are," she agreed, standing up on her tippy-toes to reach Heather's lips. Heather melted against the kiss, deepening it smoothly and releasing the shorter girl's wrists to put her arms around her neck. She muttered teasingly, "but I don't do this with all my friends" against Kate's partially open mouth. And Kate smirked against her in return, trailing her lips, tongue and teeth down Heather's jaw before nipping at the sharpest point and licking to sooth the bite. She retorted back lowly,

"Close to it, whore."

And Heather reached back to swat her on the ass, "I resent that!"

Kate 'on reflex' jumped forward at the slap, their pelvis's knocking together. They both moaned.

"I resent that we're not in bed right now…." she replied, her hands wandering up Heather's stomach, and Heather stepped back to indulgently run her eyes over her friend's frame – ripped skinny jeans, a tight blue tank top, smooth caramel skin already marred by a hickey or two and sexy, spikey blonde hair – before grabbing her by the wrist with a wink and pulling her down the hall.

* * *

Heather's eyes blinked blearily open the next morning, and as she turned her head to check her bedside clock she frowned in confusion for two reasons: One, it was already almost noon, and two…there was a post-it note on her lamp shade.

She rolled over onto her back and, remembering the previous night's events, sat up and cracked her stiff neck with a lazy grin. Scooting over so she could reach the table she ripped off the note and read in miniscule handwriting:

**Don't be a stranger - Last night was fun, stud .**

**P.s. your roomie showed me where your post-its were. I accidentally came out in my underwear…and your shirt –which, hello? Keeping! –**

**Have fun! ;D**

Heather laughed, crumpling the note up and throwing it on the floor before flopping backwards onto her pillows with a contented sigh. She had almost drifted back to sleep when her phone began to buzz from an unknown location. Grunting and sitting up, she threw half her body off the bed until she was far enough to reach underneath. Finding her jeans after a few seconds of blind flailing, she fished it out of her back pocket. It had already stopped ringing, so she assumed – and rightly so – that it was just a text message.

In fact, she had 3.

**I made pancakes, u player. I want the deets! - **from Ashley, dated an hour ago. She snorted and then groaned, realizing her roommate was going to mock her all day, like she always did when a 'new' girl left through their door in the morning before she had the chance to wake up.

**The girl serving me coffee at this café is sexy, I think. – saw her and thought of you. Want her #?** ;) – From Vanessa.

She grinned, typing back a teasing **lol u kno it **and shaking her head at how lucky she was to have that crazy girl suddenly appear into her life.

_God bless Glee I guess,_ she pondered.

_Even if one relationship it formed turned out to be ….severely bittersweet._

And speaking of…

The most recent text, the one that had made the buzzing sound she had been aware of, was from Naya.

**Heyy you, I need your advice on something. Call me?**

Heather quirked her eyebrow curiously, sat up straighter to rest her head against her headboard and after a split second's hesitation hit the call button beneath the text.

"Hi!" Naya picked up instantly, sounding really excited. Heather grinned at her friend's bubbly tone on reflex.

"Hey, Happy! What's up?"

"The studio called and they want me in New York City next week to record some more of my songs. They say they want to push the album's release date forward two weeks – late August!" Naya babbled excitedly, and Heather could almost picture her clutching the phone tightly to her ear with both hands like she always did when she was deep into a conversation.

She imagined in this instance that she was also bouncing up and down in her seat – or on her bed – like a total buffoon. The complete mental image was almost painfully sweet, and she couldn't help herself, she 'awwed'.

_Oops._

"Aww?" Naya giggled out, confused, and still sounding out of breath.

"Like, Awww man, that's awesome! I mean – you just sound so giddy. It's cute."

She felt her face get hot and she crammed her eyes closed with an embarrassed grimace. But Naya didn't seem to notice or care about her school-girl crush behavior.

"I'm really excited," she admitted through a somehow audible smile, "and it's why I'm calling for your help, actually."

"Yea?"

"Yea," Naya cleared her throat, suddenly sounding a bit shy – "I wanted to have someone film and take pictures of some of the recording stuff, because I want to put together a little mini-documentary for my fans on twitter the day the album finally comes out."

Heather's heart clenched as she cooed, "Naaaay. That's really sweet!"

"Yea – I mean, this is all for them, you know? It's up to them, how well this album does…"

_Always so modest_, Heather commented inwardly with affection as Naya continued to talk,

"and I know you've done film-related work..do you know anyone who'd be willing to hop on a plane with me with some camera equipment on short notice?"

An idea formulated instantly in Heather's mind. A bad one….or was it a good one?

"How short notice?"

_Definitely a bad idea…_

"Like, in five days?"

_Oh god, she was really going to do this…._

"I just bought a new camera and some sound stuff that I've been meaning to try out! I can come with you!"

_Fuck._

Naya squealed loudly into the phone "Aaaaah! Really? You'd do that for me?"

_Anything for you…._ Heather rolled her eyes inwardly at her love-struck dramatics, and played it as casually as possible –

"Duh, we haven't spent a lot of time together lately," _alone_, she remarked bitterly in her head, forever scorning the existence of Matt, "We could make it like a vacation!"

"We could," Naya agreed happily, "we could even take the flight to Florida instead, leave in _two_ days and rent a car to drive up? That'd leave us a few beach days!"

"Yes! Let's do it!" She exclaimed. The two chattered excitedly for a few more minutes, finalizing their plans. And once Heather hung up the phone and tossed it beside her on the bed, it took a few moments to process but eventually her eyes nearly bugged out of her head…..

"Oh," she breathed, "what have I gotten myself into?"

* * *

**A/n: I can almost smell the HeYa blooming ;). Read and review, loves? I'd like your thoughts!**


	20. Chapter 18

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 18_

"Oh my gawd, LOOK at your NECK!" Ashley squealed, immediately ambushing Heather when she finally made it into the kitchen wearing just a hastily thrown on tank top and a pair of boyshorts. She pulled Heather fully into the room and sat back down, but not before manhandling her into the seat across from her. Then Ashley just….stared.

She stared_ Intently._

When she jokingly started twitching and widening her eyes at her Heather decided she had enough and darted her own eyes away. She sunk down slightly into the cushioning of her chair and demanded with a wine, "quit it!"

Ashley held back a laugh and refused to break her stare, instead lowering it and admiring with an expression akin to horror the sporadic pattern of hickeys all over Heather's pale skin. She leaned forward over the table until her face was close to Heather's and asked dramatically,

"Can I poke them?"

Heather crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her.

"No, seriously!" Ashley giggled, "This one right here…." she did poke at it then, and Heather winced, "there's actually a bite mark! I think I see TEETH. What did I tell you about bringing vampires back to our home when we're out of garlic?"

Heather uncrossed her arms to frantically swat at her best-friend as if shooing her away. Ashley finally plopped back down into her seat with a loud snort. Heather grinned at her, shook her head as she blushed and mumbled into the luke-warm coffee Ashley had left out waiting for her, "m'fault."

When she looked back up Ashley's left eyebrow was arched in curiosity, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

Heather groaned in embarrassment but smirked despite herself at the memory when she admitted, "The bite mark…that's my fault."

Ashley's eyes widened once more as she said seriously, "Oh, do tell." She leaned back and clasped her hands out in front of her, preparing for an 'epic tale'.

"You want me to like….tell you?" Heather asked nervously, raising her eyebrows at the eager woman.

"What?...Oh! No," Ashley rolled her eyes, "honey we've been in this situation like dozens of times by now, when I say 'tell me!' I obviously mean keep it PG-13. _Please_ keep it PG-13, maybe a light R….although the rating's system's been changing so I'm no longer sure if–

"ASH!"

Heather fixed her with an 'are you kidding me right now' look, and she grinned back sheepishly, "sorry….go on. Onward ho! Tell away…"

Heather leaned forward and motioned for Ashley to do the same with a teasing 'come hither,' wiggle of her hand. Ashley waggled her eyebrows as if to say, 'oh, it's that good huh?' and moved her torso towards the center of the table until the two of them were nearly forehead to forehead – like two teens sharing gossip about someone sitting only inches away.

"So we heard a sound outside of the room when we were – you know …"Heather began conspiratorially,

"Oh I know," Ashley parroted in the same voice, unnecessarily, but it was all part of their impromptu game.

"And so I – Heather continued, but Ashley interrupted,

"It was probably just Zach he's always –

"Sh! Yea, I know!" Heather winked and nudged their shoulders together, "but I told her you had woken up and were right down the hall in the bathroom."

"Oooooh," Ashley said as she let all the air out of her lungs. Then she laughed heartily, "that's terrible."

"The worst" Heather agreed with a grin. "I told her she wasn't allowed to make a sound..." She flopped back down into her chair completely but Ashley remained literally hanging off the edge of her seat as she explained vaguely, gesturing to her neck, "That big mark there is where she bit down when she – uh –

She jerked her head to the side slightly as if nodding crookedly and made a crude whistling sound.

There was a moment of tense silence as Ashley mulled over this information, suddenly determined not to look at the once fascinating bruise.

"Hot." She eventually agreed with a nod, valiantly trying to hide the fact that she was blushing by getting up and retrieving the plate of pancakes from where they were being kept covered on the stove.

When she got back she was still slightly red but Heather took pity on her and ignored it, stifling a giggle as she scarfed down several pancakes within minutes.

Once her plate was empty she looked back up at Ashley, who was finally fully composed and stated,

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about, actually…."

Ashley's composure just as quickly broke as she blanched, "not about sex right? Please, no more today - my innocent mind can only take so much!"

Heather stuck her tongue out at her, "Nooo, it's not about sex – I just…um…."

Ashley detected that the tone of their morning was about to dramatically shift, and she sighed.

"What's up, buttercup?"

"I….may have…." The rest of Heather's sentence came out in a garbled rush, but her ears perked up in interest when she made out the words 'Naya' and 'New York'.

"Say that again? But this time use your big girl voice?"

Heather scoffed, and grumbled out, "I said I may have accidentally agreed to go with Naya to New York City so I could help her make a documentary of her recording her album."

A pause.

"Well that's not so bad!" Ashley justified weakly, but Heather shook her head. Biting her lip, she revealed further,

"Aaaand we're kind of taking the plane to Florida, staying there for a few days and road-trippin' it up the rest of the way."

"Ah," Ashley replied, as if suddenly understanding. Her expression softened, "And you're – Heather, are you going to be okay with handling all of this alone time? This would have been normal to the two of you, a few years ago – before "Operation Taylor", and uh before…well…."

"Matt, I know," Heather finished. She sighed heavily, "I honestly don't know Ash. Now that Naya knows I'm gay I'm afraid she's going to treat me differently, or that I'm going to be awkward, or worse…she'll put all the pieces together now that she knows I was never with T and she'll figure out I've been in love with her this whole time."

"Somehow I doubt that last thing will happen. Naya's pretty modest….if anything she'll think you've been banging me!"

"Ashley!" Heather exclaimed, getting up to put her dish in the sink just for the excuse to get away from the conversation (and to punch her friend's shoulder on her way there. Hard).

"Ow! Hey! I'm trying to lighten the mood here!"

No response. Heather remained standing over the sink, staring out the window in front of her.

"I mean, come on, I'm hot!" She tried again, putting on her fake Jersey accent which she knew was a favorite of the blonde's.

Heather still didn't move. So she got up with a frown and wrapped her up in a hug from behind, noticing in the reflection of the glass that Heather's eyes were beginning to get watery and red.

"Aw," Ashley pouted sympathetically, resting her chin on Heather's shoulder and tightening her grip. Heather subconsciously leaned back into the embrace as she whimpered and pulled one of her arms free to wipe at her nose.

"You don't have to go, if you don't want to Heath," Ashley said softly, tilting her head to rest it against Heather's (_woah, this side's all purple and red too!_ she couldn't help but acknowledge) neck.

Heather stared out the window with a kind of determination, willing herself not to break down as she admitted, "No. I want to go more than anything else in the world. I have to."

Ashley nodded against her, and she continued thickly, louder than before, "I just missed her so much Ash! I miss having my best friend, before things got so…so complicated!"

Her eyes fell away from the clouds at last and down to the hands wrapped around her waist. She covered them with her own and turned her body to bury her face against Ashley's chest, muffling her sobs.

* * *

**A/N: Ouch, poor HeMo. At least I balanced out all the angst with some humor...right?**

** Review and let me know ;)**


	21. Chapter 19

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 19_

Heather grabbed her laptop after her breakfast with Ashley and flopped down onto the couch. Holding it in her lap and opening up the internet she sent out an email to her closest friends explaining that she would be – for the most part – A.W.O.L the following week.

She kept it pretty simple, divulging only that she was going to New York with Naya for a project that she was helping her with. She wasn't sure if Naya revealed the details of her plan to everyone else – and she acknowledged she was being selfish and hopeful by assuming that she didn't.

Heather was still Naya's best friend…she still wanted to be _special, _in some ways at least.

She reread the simple email and hit send, and was surprised when she received a response from several people after only 20 minutes of aimless web browsing.

Most of the messages where just quick, "have fun! Call me when you get back!" type deals from Dani, Hannah, Meg and the rest. Even a brief "cool – tell me about it l8r" was sent by Brittany, and she smiled in relief and surprise in response.

She noted that Vanessa and Dianna had already responded as well and quirked her eyebrow. She opened up Vanessa's reply first:

**HEMO! Why didn't you tell me this earlier? Last minute much? I was going to take you beach-hopping with me…**

**Oh well, your loss! Don't do anything crazy like elope with Naya while you're there, plz. I would never forgive you…**

…

**Because I plan on being your overgrown flower-girl if you two ladies get hitched!**

**Ness**

Heather spit her water out all over the screen and quickly grabbed… _a pillow? Yes, that would have to work_, to wipe her computer down before she broke the damn thing, all the while choking and gasping loudly for air.

Ashley skidded into the room on her socks, nearly falling on her face as bumped into the couch. She thumped Heather on the back roughly, causing her to let out a loud "MOTHER FU- in pain and surprise….and then resume hacking again.

She held up her hand and took several deep breaths until her face returned to a normal color, and pointed at the email in explanation. Ashley leaned over Heather's shoulder and read curiously as the girl calmed herself down. Once she felt as though her moment of death had passed, she swiveled her body around to fully face her friend.

Who was done reviewing the email. And was poker-faced.

"That's it?" scoffed Ashley, putting her hands on her hips and staring down at Heather in a scolding school-teacher kind of way.

"Did you read it? Vanessa –

"Was busting on you, Heather," she interrupted gently, "I honestly doubt she really, truly knows that you want Naya to have your gaybies.

"Gaybies?" Heather questioned, scrunching her nose up, the odd term throwing her totally off track.

"Yes, gaybies. Gay babies. You two would have them and it would be adorable." Ashley rattled off this information almost robotically, like an undisputed fact.

"They wouldn't be gay, like, we wouldn't know for sure…I don't think genetics work like that. It's not like there's a dominant –

"OKAY Einstein" Ashley giggled, reaching down to jab at her nose, Heather yelped in response but she continued, "You've obviously thought too much about this. AND you're missing the ENTIRE point of this conversation. Vanessa doesn't know your deepest, darkest secret. I promise."

"But…" Heather swallowed nervously, biting at her lip and sending Ashley a pleading look, "how do you know for sure?"

"_Because_. Think about it – you guys are Brittana, right? You're Brittany and _Santana_. Which means that the easiest joke for a friend to make, especially if you JUST came out to them, is that you and your character are the same person. Plus, do you live under a rock or do you realize that it's a well-known fact that you and Naya being madly in love is every lesbian fan's wet dream?"

"I – well I didn't think about it like that."  
"Obviously not, spazz."

"Shut up," Heather demanded lightly, poking her tongue out, "but - I mean do you really think she was just pulling from all of that?"

Ashley threw her hands up and practically screeched, "YES!"

"Oh, okay!" Heather responded, her face brightening, "I'll just joke right back then. I guess the whole situation is pretty ironic, huh?"

_SMACK_.

Ashley face-palmed herself. Shaking her head and walking away, she mumbled loudly as she went and Heather caught some snippets of it, "going to kill you some day. Mood swings, lesbian drama. I fucking SWEAR –….going to kidnap your cat and run for it. Ugh!"

She laughed at her friend's over-zealous retreat and after answering Vanessa quickly (simply apologizing to her for the short notice and joking that she could be _Brittany and Santana's_ flower-girl any day) opened up the email from Dianna.

All it said was:

**That's great! But all the same…are you going to be okay? Call me. 3.**

She sighed heavily. Although she appreciated her friend's concern, she really didn't want to think of all the negative outcomes the week with Naya might have. Not after her meltdown just an hour before over the same exact thing.

_Mood swings, indeed._

_Her whole life lately was one big mood swing. _

She just wanted to let herself be excited over getting close with her best friend again. And she told Dianna as much.

* * *

"I just want to let myself be excited," Heather whined into the phone, hanging upside from her bed and staring at the flip-flopped ceiling with squinty, dizzy eyes.

"I know HeMo, I know."

"No – but seriously! I hate that I'm freaking out over spending time with my best friend! It's ridiculous!"

"But also pretty understandable," Dianna supplied soothingly.

Heather nodded thoughtfully, remembered Dianna could not see her and mumbled out, "yea…."

"And anyway! You're going to be in New York, a bunch of other people will be around…I hate to say it because I know you want a vacation but it won't be all that much different than work!"

Heather remembered suddenly that she left out a lot of important details in her mass-email.

_Oh. Oops. Di is going to flip._

"Actually…uhm, Di? Funny story, haha!– we're going to Florida for a few days before her actual recording session and we're driving up to New York from the beach."

"What?"

"I know, right..."

"Oh…Heather, sweetie…." Heather waited but Dianna seemed to just draw out the term of endearment and let it hang there. Eventually she became impatient and prompted, mimicking her friend's drawl: "Yeees?"

"You better be safe, okay? I don't mean in the physical sense, I mean emotionally. Spiritually. Follow your heart. Protect it, but don't be surprised if things start to change while you're there."

_Change? What could possibly change that she'd need to protect her heart from?_

Heather felt a curious, anxious stirring in said organ that she couldn't identify as she mulled over the other girl's words.

Suddenly, in the unsure silence, her phone began to beep in her ear. She lifted it away and held it above her head to look at the screen. her eyes widened as she bolted upright so quickly that she almost face-planted into the mattress.

_**Incoming call from "Nayaaaa :)"**_

_Shit._

"Di…I have to answer this, Naya's calling."

"Speak of the Devil," Dianna chortled.

"Yea…but I'll talk to you later. Love ya!"

"I love you too, hun."

She switched over to the other line with a hasty click.

"…."

"…Hello?"

_Oh, right. She was supposed to say something. Smooth Heather, _she scoffed as she straightened up and sat cross legged in the middle of her bed.

"Hey, Nay! What's up?"

"Hey Heather! We should have a packing party tomorrow night."

"A…packing party?"

"Yes!"

Naya sounded adorably excited, and Heather allowed herself to hope for a minute that she missed her a lot, too. Maybe they both just needed things to get back to normal. (_And maybe she needed to stop acting so personally offended by Naya's relationship with Matt, _she acknowledged inwardly with a sigh).

"What's a packing party?" Heather giggled, falling into her best-friend's trap of infectious enthusiasm, despite her conflicted thoughts.

"We used to do them all the time, Heath. Come on, you remember! It's where you bring all your unpacked crap in a great big pile to my place in your suitcase and we have a laundry-and-folding party while gossiping over our boys!"

…._Awkward._

She literally could HEAR all of Naya's muscles freeze up in regret and embarrassment.

"Uh. Um…I mean…."

Heather coughed just to break the tension. "It's okay. We can still gossip about Taylor if it'd really make you feel better," she said. Naya sighed, and replied nervously, with an underlying tone of girlish curiosity,

"Or…we could…talk about girls?...

"I mean, just for you!" She added quickly, almost defensively.

Heather stopped breathing for a second as her mind was thrown into a state of panic.

_Was she ready for that? Was Naya ready for that? Would the two of them ever be able to have that sort of conversation? Would –_

She was saved from her downward spiral by the sound of masculine chatter -indistinguishable except she thought she heard her name….? – on Naya's half of the line.

'Is that Heather again?' she heard more loudly this time. And yup – that was definitely Matt, pissed about _her_.

_What the hell….?_

Naya murmured a hurried "Hold on, okay?" and the voices were quickly muffled by what she assumed was a carpet or bedspread as she heard Naya's voice join in with Matt's. They were obviously bickering, and Heather felt a worrying mix of fear, nervousness and that pesky, twisted kind of hope that came from loving someone you thought you couldn't have.

When she heard grumpy footsteps moving away the return of unhindered sound came soon after, and she was greeted by Naya's irritated voice.

"Hey. Again."

"Nay…" she began, concerned, "are you and Matt fighting? I think I heard my name? I just want to be sure that it's okay you're taking me with you to –

"NO. No. Everything's fine Heather. But I have to go. Come over tomorrow night, okay? Just call me before you do."

_**Click. **_

…_.well, shit._

* * *

**_A/N: hehehe. I think this might actually be a cliffhanger, guys? Review! :D_**


	22. Chapter 20

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 20_

Ashley poked her head into Heather's bedroom, becoming confused when she didn't immediately see the girl. She_ knew_ she heard humming coming from in there.

"Uh….Heath?" She called, staring at the empty – and shockingly enough, neatly made – bed from the doorway.

"I'm in here!" Heather shouted, and when Ashley stepped into the room and looked to the left and beneath her line of sight she was greeted by Heather's head poking out of–

She burst into laughter.

"Heather, what are you doing in the closet? I thought you were moving forward from this!"

Heather shot her a glare from the floor that was so intense and sarcastic that she doubled over, wheezing out, "No – you're right; this is a good first step – I mean, now at least you're admitting you're in there. Usually we'd be playing hide-and-seek by now. Baby steps!"

Heather stood up, brushed herself off and slid the door open all the way so she could give her best friend a proper view of the hands that were moodily placed on her hips.

Ashley giggled despite her attempts to straighten her grin into a neutral expression, and immediately clapped a hand over her mouth. She breathed through her slightly spread fingers for a few moments, eventually pulling her hand away and shooting Heather a sheepish smirk,

"phew!" She blew out, straightening her posture and rolling her shoulders foolishly as though she had just finished running a marathon, "Sorry – sorry…I'm good now. That was just too funny."

Heather shook her head with a roll of her eyes, matched the girls grin and stepped a foot out of the closet – but immediately, Ashley shouted out, "NO! Wait! Don't!" throwing her hand forward in an exaggerated "Stop" motion.

Heather froze, gave her an 'are you kidding me' glance, and waited.

Ashley waved her hands slightly and asked in a conversational tone, "Do you think you could like, step back in there for a sec and tell me if you see Kristen Stewart? I mean – I always wondered…."

Heather narrowed her eyes at her, swiveled around and crouched down in the closet again, looking for…something…

**Whoosh.**

"Hey!" Ashley yelped as she was hit in the face with a flying duffle bag.

"No Kristen, sorry, but I found this!"

Ashley wiped what she imagined was dust off of her face and glared. Heather beamed and announced quickly, "the zipper's stuck. Can you un-stick it for me? Yea? Cool! Thanks Ash you're the best."

…before promptly walking out of the room.

_Great._

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" She called down the hall, and Heather screamed right back, "I'M GETTING MY CAMERAS. THEY GOTTA BE CLEANED!"

"Like a dude and his car," Ashley mumbled to herself as she settled down onto the floor beside the bed. She called back, "OKAY," as she worked at the zipper. And with one hard yank – **zzzzpt!**

_Yes!_ _Who's got the muscle? I got the muscle!_

"GOT IT!"

Ashley whipped around and leapt up in triumph….nearly colliding into Heather who had a great big camera bag at her feet and her hands over her ears. She was grimacing at her.

"Oh," Ashley giggled, gently pushing Heather's hands down from her head. She stage whispered, "sorry!"

Heather stuck her tongue out at her, bent down to grab the duffle bag and said "Thanks!" before opening up all her drawers and sporadically throwing t-shirts, shorts, jeans and underwear in. It was completely full – overflowing actually, in seconds.

She immediately ran over to her closet to grab another bag, and Ashley actually shuddered at the sight of the mess she was making.

"Heather…sweetie? My mothering instincts are kicking in and I didn't even know I had those – that is NOT how you pack!"

Heather ignored her and began tossing dirty clothes into the second bag, while twirling around and bobbing to an imaginary beat.

_DIRTY CLOTHES? Oh for the love of – _

"EARTH TO THE LESBIAN QUEEN! Your kingdom of giddy fangirls called, they want their ENTHUSIASM back!"

Heather halted her movements mid dancing-and-packing, leaning forward with one foot back and in the air.

She wobbled as her mouth opened and closed once without saying a word. She looked…confused, to say the least.

Standing up straight and lowering her leg, she garbled out "I –the- what?"

"I'm not sure, but it got you to shut up. Do you need uh…help not packing like a 5 year old?"

"I'm not packing," protested Heather, shaking her head resolutely.

"Oh – alright….so you're unpacking backwards?"

"_Ashley._"

"Whaaat?" Ashley whined back, "So sue me, I'm confused!"

Heather sat on the edge of her bed and forcibly pushed the crumpled pile of clothing as far into the second bag as she could, zipping it up quickly before it decided to explode.

"Well," she explained, "I'm not packing right now _technically._ I'm bringing all this crap over to Naya's in a few hours and we're having a 'laundry party' tonight. We're going to –

"So that's what they're calling it now," Ashley interrupted, arching an eyebrow. Heather did not laugh, or really even acknowledge her comment and continued, "We're gonna do our laundry together, fold it and go through a packing checklist while watching a movie and talking and stuff."

"Awww," Ashley cooed in recognition, bounding over to plop down on the edge of Heather's bed as well, "I remember when you guys used to do that. Like before the tour! It's like old times!" she exclaimed, clapping Heather on the shoulder excitedly.

"Yea," Heather sighed, smiling wistfully at her closet – her eyes not really seeing it at all, but clearly seeing something else in her mind's eye that was much more soothing "like old times…."

Ashley smiled at her friend's profile fondly, but it was a smile that also had worry prickling at its edges. She was glad Heather did not see it.

* * *

_**Meanwhile, across town….**_

"For the last time Matt, I told you," She shoved the man lightly away from her, "Heather's coming over tonight – and probably soon! We can't… _do_ anything."

"Well that's just great – the night before you leave for your little vacation and we can't even hang out." He slumped down onto his side of couch in a huff, staring not even at Naya herself but very grumpily at the distance between them, as if it were his sworn enemy.

_Guys are so dramatic_, Naya thought with a roll of her eyes that Matt obviously saw. He sniped out, "What?" crossing his arms at her.

"Something tells me you don't want to just hang out, _babe_. AND it's not a vacation – I'm working for part of it, remember?"

He scowled, "Then why are you bringing _Heather _and not me?"

"I don't like your inflection when you say her name, what's going on with you?" Naya exclaimed as she tossed her hands up and stood.

"Because you could be bringing your boyfriend –_ ME_, but instead you're going beach-hopping with your supposed 'best friend' who you're _suddenly_ close with again…."

She stared down at him silently as if daring him to continue and he finished with a groan, "it's suspicious._ She's_ suspicious. I just don't want you getting hurt…"

"Bullshit," Naya bit out, surprising them both with the force behind the word, "Heather knows how to work a camera, unlike you, so she's coming to do the doc' for me. You know that. You _also_ know that 'rough patch' or not, whatever that little period of time was where we were both busy, she has always been and always WILL be my _best friend._ I love her."

"Well that's just great – I love you too," he responded sarcastically. Naya stormed away from the couch, putting distance between them before turning on him again, "you're not even listening to the logic of the situation! God! Ever since I stood up to you because of that dick move you pulled on her at the party…."

Matt just stared at her, far too passively for her liking. So she snapped.

"You know what? Out."

"Wh-

"LEAVE! I'm not going to be in a bitchy mood when HeMo gets here because of you."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Matt shouted, astounded, as he leapt from the couch and headed towards her. She put her hand out and he halted a few paces away.

"No," she sighed, lowering her hand and raising the other to massage above her eyes, "I'm just kicking you out of my house. Go home, Matt. If you're lucky I'll text you when Heather leaves for the night. Just go,"

At this point she sounded almost broken,

"_Please."_

He left without another word, but the loud slam of the door said enough to hurt, anyway.

She laid on her couch for a half hour before she felt fit enough to text her best friend,

**You can come over whenever, okay?**

* * *

"Hey Ashley!" Heather called, as she packed her freshly polished cameras back into their case and left it on her bed. She shouldered her two duffle bags as well and headed down the hall.

"Yea?" Ashley asked from her room. Heather popped her head in and laughed at the sight of her friend intently playing…._Pac-Man_ on her television?

"You're a nerd," Heather announced, causing Ashley to whip her head away from the screen with a gasp and get eaten by a ghost.

"Craap! And you suck! What do you want?"

"I'm going to Naya's now…."

_Aw, did Heather sound shy?_

"Have fun, hot stuff," Ashley responded fondly, sending her a wink before turning back to her game.

"Yea, bye."

As soon as Ashley heard the front door close gently she let herself die in the game and turned the t.v. off, grabbing for her phone instead.

"Hey…Heather just left; you can come pick me up to go get that pizza you were so keen on having now, if you want."

A male voice on the other end chuckled, "Don't you find this a little…sketchy?"

"Sketchy?" Ashley questioned, slightly alarmed, "No, we're not sketchy…should I have said no?"  
Now the guy sounded jokingly hurt, "did you want to say no?"

"No…." she drew out, shaking her head with a laugh. And she could hear the teasing smile in his voice as well when he replied, "good."

"So…." Ashley started, awkwardly, trying to stop her eyes from darting around the room in search of a conversation topic.

_Bad habit_, she thought to herself with a smirk.

"So I'll be there in like 20 minutes Ash! Stop freaking out; I can almost sense a disturbance in the airwaves from your eyebrows scrunching together like that. Don't deny it either. And besides, she's not going to be jealous or anything, right? I mean come on, that would be awkward. And anyway, we're just hanging out… " He prompted once more, "right?"

She didn't respond.

He mumbled something about getting into his car and hung up the phone.

"Riiight…" Ashley murmured skeptically at last as she picked at her blanket with the fingernails of her unoccupied hand. She tossed her phone onto the bedspread.

She wasn't quite sure what part of Taylor's little speech she was skeptical of.

* * *

**A/N: Uh, I guess a good way to sum up this chapter is DUN DUN DUUUUN. Review, lovelies?**


	23. Chapter 21

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 21_

"Hey Ash, I'm here…."

"…then why don't you come inside?"

"Heather's car is still here. You told me she left!"

"She did….oh, fuck! That little –

"What?"

"SHE TOOK HER MOTORCYCLE. I wasn't even finished decorating her "first official deathtrap" helmet yet! That selfish bitch!"

"…All these years, and I'm finally getting that I will NEVER understand you two. Are you coming or what?"

"Okay, okay! Hold your tits. I'll be out in a minute – but she better not die. UGH!"

_Click._

* * *

Heather skidded into Naya's driveway, completely aware of the ruckus her bike's engine was making for the neighborhood but too happy to care, and dismounted with a smirk. Tossing the helmet ( which, she noticed with some confusion seemed half painted up and stated "I'm a los" before being cut off) onto the seat, she untied her bags from the back and bounded up the front steps, feeling completely optimistic about her interactions with her friend for the first time in a long while.

Which is why, in retrospect, seeing Naya open up her door with a halfhearted smile and just a tiny wave seemed like such a downer. To anyone else she would have seemed perfectly fine. But Heather knew her – she knew the way her eyebrows scrunched when she was happy, or how she would have awkwardly babbled about helping her with her bags by now if she was really excited to see her- and so she immediately stepped forward and pulled the girl into a tender hug, dropping all that she was carrying to the porch without a second thought.

"I'm fine," Naya mumbled into her shoulder, confused as if she thought Heather wouldn't have noticed any change within her. As if she wasn't able to read her like her favorite, well-worn book, the kind of story you leave sitting open on your bedside table, even when you don't feel like reading it, you just want to know it's there –

"Mhmmm," Heather sighed against her, teasingly because she clearly did not believe her, "but maybe I just thought you needed a hug."

They pulled away from each other eventually and Naya shrugged, admitting shyly, "maybe you were right." She bent down to pick up one of Heather's bags and Heather beamed at her in response, leaning over quickly to grab the other and following Naya inside.

Once they had the washer running with a quickly thrown together load of both of their clothes – because "hey, they're all coming to the same place anyway, right?" – they launched themselves onto Naya's couch, giggling in the aftermath of racing one another there.

"I missed this," Heather panted out, holding her hand over her heart to steady it as it raced from adrenaline and as she flopped her head to rest on the back-cushion of the couch.

"Me too," Naya replied breathlessly, falling backwards lengthwise so that her head landed directly in Heather's lap.

Heather looked down at her fondly – perhaps too obviously so, because when Naya tilted her head back to meet her eyes it was if a spark had begun to ignite, and before the stare reached boiling point they both flitted their eyes away with a mutual blush.

Heather cleared her throat.

Naya cleared her throat.

And then, much to Heather's disappointment, she sat back up, but did re-situate herself so that she was sitting right up against the blonde.

She leaned her head against Heather's shoulder and absently stroked at her pale, toned arm as she admitted in a whisper,

"Matt and I got into a fight."

Heather turned her head to look at her in concern for a moment, but when she refused to meet her eyes she settled for looking straight ahead again. She hesitantly rested her head on top of Naya's.

"What happened?" She asked gently, bringing her opposite hand down to cover Naya's own hand which was still trailing up and down her arm. Naya stopped the repetitive motion and settled for entwining their fingers together instead.

"He…this is going to sound really weird, but he's jealous – or something. I dunno," she shook her head slightly causing Heather's to jostle a bit, "he hasn't been acting like himself."

Heather held back her knee-jerk, bitchy response (_but he's always an ass!)_ and instead settled for a neutral sounding, "what could he be jealous of?"

The pause that followed almost sounded like, 'you.'

And what Naya eventually ended up saying proved it to be close enough to the truth.

"He just…you know how when I started dating him the two of us didn't see each other as much?"

Heather frowned and nodded, knowing Naya could feel the motion. She continued,

"He doesn't know what we used to be like, HeMo…he doesn't know how close we are. He's a bit protective of me and he doesn't want me getting hurt – at least, that's what he says."

"Who said anything about hurting you?" Heather all but gasped out. And in her head, a broken_: I would never, ever hurt you. You mean too much, and it would hurt me too._

"I-I just think he has a different idea of why we stopped hanging out together, I think he knows…." Heather jerked upright in a panic. Rigid with fear, she asked alarmed, "You think he knows about me? Like…_knows_?

"What?" Naya questioned, her eyes narrowing as she turned to face her fully. She seemed for a minute or two to search Heather's eyes for a clue to what she could possibly mean, and when she understood she laughed.

"Heather – no," she giggled out, before taking a breath and saying normally, "he thinks that you're the only one who pulled away. He's acting like you're going to leave me any minute now, because he's kind of bull-headed I guess, and that's all he sees when he thinks about our past."

She looked down at her lap, and Heather took it to mean she was afraid that Matt's worries would turn out to be the truth.

"Oh…" She drew out after an awkward silence, sounding slightly hurt,

"Nay…you don't think that too, do you? Oh God, you must HATE me! I promise I'm never going to pull away like that again…I wasn't even doing it on purpose, I swear!"

She whispered to herself mostly, "I'm _never_ going to let you go again," as she fiddled with Naya's thumb and forefinger, but Naya heard her and tightened their joined hands in response.

"I don't agree with him," Naya assured, "and that's why we fought."

"Then…what does he know?" Heather asked timidly, but she now had a slight smile on her face, just from hearing that Naya was willing to defend her, _over Matt!_

_Yes!_ Her inner devil cheered, _We might have a chance!_

It felt like a stab to the chest, and she immediately willed her brain – and her hormones – to shut up.

"He knows," Naya began nervously, boldly connecting their eyes again, "that I really, really missed you."

Heather smiled goofily at her and rested her head on _her_ shoulder this time, "I really, really missed you too."

She paused, and then giggled at herself, "I don't know why I thought he figured out I was gay!"

Naya laughed right back, "Yea – you must be a bit paranoid about that still, I guess. It's understandable…but you're very brave for starting to come out. I never did tell you that."

…

"Besides, it's none of Matt's business. Because your sexuality is _your_ sexuality, and it has nothing to do with me."

Heather groaned inwardly,

_Right….._

She brushed it off though, deciding her own angst wasn't important that night. They finally allowed themselves to sit back with no tension in the air, just enjoying each other's company. After a while, Naya leaned over and flicked on the T.V, knowing Heather enjoyed laughing at her expressions and outbursts while she watched reality shows as much as she enjoyed watching them. Some things never changed.

* * *

_30 minutes later…._

**BEEEEEP, BEEEEEEP**

"That's the washing machine! Last person there has to pour the wine AND fold the first load!"

"Oh you're so on, Rivera! It's SO on!"

* * *

**A/N: Is there some HeYa tension in the air, or is it just my imagination? ;). I'd love for you all to review!**


	24. Interlude III Sleep

I can hold my heart in two

_Interlude III - Sleep_

Heather half-woke laying sideways, her head resting on what seemed to be a warm, soft pillow.

"Mmm, comfy" she mumbled, curling further against the source of heat beside her and burrowing her face deeper into the warmth.

She cracked her eye open and was met with a face-full of cotton-clad boob.

_Oh God_,

_NAYA boob_!… Her tired mind supplied with a sort of giddy horror.

And she was wrapped around the girl like some sort of gangly starfish!

Blushing, Heather rolled as far away as she could on the narrow couch, turning herself around to face the back cushions, her eyes wide and her breaths heaving with adrenaline and guilt until finally she calmed enough to fall back asleep.

* * *

Ashley lay pondering the weird stirrings in her stomach that Taylor, of all people, caused that night.

Okay, so she always found him to be cute. But as Heather's fake…thing, he'd always been off limits… right?

_Wait._

Was she actually allowing herself to even _think_ of having feelings for Taylor?

"Oh my god," she groaned, flinging her face back down into the pillow.

_Fuck you, Mister. Why'd you have to make me laugh? Why did you have to pay for the stupid pizza? Oh my God Heather's going to die….why why WHY?_

Hours later, she woke with the instinctual knowledge that it was very early in the morning, and Heather had not yet arrived home.

At that point, fear just took over.

* * *

Naya jolted awake to the feeling of her phone vibrating inside her jeans pocket, and realized with a groan of discomfort that her feet were asleep, and her and Heather had clearly fallen asleep talking on the couch.

The laundry basket still stood on the coffee table with only half the clothes folded.

She fished into her pocket, careful not to disturb the girl, and noticed two things as she looked at the iPhone screen:

Ashley was calling.

It was 3:16 AM.

She answered with a suppressed yawn and tried not to sound too concerned when she prompted curiously, "Ash?"

"Oh God you were asleep. So Heather must not be there anymore. How long ago did she leave because I swear I thought she'd let me know and I TOLD her, I TOLD her not to crash and die on that goddamn thing ohg-

"ASHLEY," Naya whispered harshly, a little too loudly. Heather's head flopped back onto her shoulder with a whimper and she smiled subconsciously at the comforting pressure that it caused.

"She's right here," she said gently, reaching over to brush blonde hair out of closed blue eyes without a second thought.

She chuckled, "we fell asleep on the couch while actively avoiding getting anything done."

"Oh," Ashley let out all the air in her lungs with a shaky 'whoosh'.

"Yea. Why were you so worried anyway? No offense – I mean, I realize Heather drives like Lucifer trying to escape Hell on a good day but –

"There's a Harley in your driveway right now. How did you not notice that? Didn't you answer the door?"

_I thought she parked on the side of the road, that's all_…Naya commented to herself. But then what Ashley said caught up to her.

And even though what she REALLY wanted to do was shake Heather awake and beg for a ride, she followed her more stable instinct for Ashley's benefit.

"Oh my God. Okay. I understand – I would have killed her."

"Oh I'm going to when she gets her ass back home!" Ashley retorted.

"You're a good friend, you know that right? She's lucky to have you."

Naya could hear the other woman's bashfulness as she responded "Thanks."

She then asked tentatively, "can you keep Heather there with you 'til it's light out? Just so neither of us have to worry…"

Naya fondly watched as Heather shifted again in her sleep and replied absentmindedly, " 'course, Ashley. Goodnight."

"Night, Nay. Thanks again."

_**Click.**_

* * *

Taylor twisted and turned in his sleep, perhaps dreaming that because he kind of wanted to kiss her roommate, Heather had full rights to rip his balls off.

* * *

And Matt fell asleep alone.

* * *

**A/N: I may have gone back to my roots and gotten poetic on you guys for this chapter, at least a little bit. Did you all like it anyway? What's up with Taylor and Ashley, huh? Please review :)**


	25. Chapter 22

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 22_

Heather held three bags in her arms precariously, as she turned the knob of her apartment door as best she could and kicked it open loudly. Behind her, Naya held only one bag of her own and watched warily, with traces of amusement shining in her eyes.

"Heather, I have another hand!" She tried, but at that point HeMo was already over the threshold and headed towards the living room. She followed along as Heather called over her shoulder, "yea, and it's shaking like a leaf, which is totally my fault, so come on!"

She dropped the bags in a heap beside the couch. Naya sighed and dropped the last bag right on top.

"My hands are not shaking. That ride was….fun!" She protested, holding them out in front of her as level as she could for Heather to see.

But they definitely _were_, and Naya definitely could_ not _handle motorcycles.

Heather put her own hands over Naya's to still the quaking and gently guided them back down to her sides. She almost forgot to let go but did so quickly when she heard voices down the hall.

Voices _plural -_Which was weird because she liked to joke that Ashley had no friends because she never, ever brought them to their home.

_Interesting…._

She motioned for Naya to follow her and together they stealthily walked down the hallway towards Ashley's bedroom – which as they got nearer became the clear source of the noise.

"Ugh! No! Don't put that there!" Ashley announced, flabbergasted.

"I'm sorry, I SLIPPED!"

"FASTER! I mean no – wait! FUCK YOU."

The pair pressed their ears against the closed door and stared at each-other, their eyes wide as they shamelessly became overcome with silent giggle-fits.

Because while the excited, high pitched tone of voice didn't exactly fit the bill…from the words coming out of their mouths Ashley and some guy could be having sex in there…or something.

"HA!" Came the masculine voice, triumphantly.

"….damn…I lost."

An electronic "awww man!" type sound came chiming through the door, and Heather took that as evidence enough that there was no sexing going on in her best-friend's room. She just hoped that they weren't playing her Gamecube while naked.

She gently nudged Naya out of the way and barged right in, only to be greeted by one of the most awkward examples of human interaction she had ever seen. …Or maybe she was just biased because of the people involved.

…."Taylor?"

Taylor and Ashley sat cross-legged and facing each-other. They stopped their very involved hate stare (At least…Heather hoped to god that's all it was) and sprung so far apart at the sound of her voice that Ashley almost fell off the opposite side of the bed.

Taylor laughed at her and Ashley yelped as she righted herself completely and tried to regain composure.

Naya snorted quietly.

And Heather took it upon herself, which she thought was silly since she's the one who had spoken last, to break the tense silence.

"Uhm…do I – do I even want to know?"

"I was just glaring at him because he kicked my ass at this game," Ashley explained with a shrug, trying for 'casual'.

"I only got here an hour ago! I was bored and wanted to see you off on your trip!" Taylor added almost defensively, before finally noticing Naya as well, "Oh, hey Nay!"

Naya waved, albeit a bit sarcastically.

Ashley face-palmed.

"Can we start over?" She asked meekly.

"Sureee," Heather drawled, thinking to herself: _anything will be better than whatever the hell that just was. _

"Okay," Ashley's face beamed into a genuine smile as she cheesily belted out, "hey guys! Taylor and I are playing Gamecube because we're nerds! Would you like to join? No? We'll that's okay, come on in!"

"Great!" Heather exclaimed, matching her tone, "but actually, we have a plane to catch, don't we Naya? We must go!"

Naya and Taylor were too busy watching this spectacle unfold from either side of the room with an emotion akin to horror – so when Naya heard her name she could do nothing but stutter "I – uh – what?"

"You are the weirdest pair of chicas I have ever laid my eyes on," Taylor added sagely. Naya subtly nodded at him and shook her head, motioning toward the door.

"We do have a plan to catch," she said apologetically. As if that was her cue Ashley sprung forward and wrapped them both up in quick hugs. When she pulled back from Naya she instructed, "be safe", in a friendly way before sternly turning on her best friend.

"Drive safe. The brakes are your friend. Put your hair up. No filming while doing over 30. No staring at hot chicks jogging by. No –

Heather swatted her with an indignant groan, they all said their good-byes one last time, and soon Naya and Heather were on their way out the front door, their luggage evenly dispersed between them.

* * *

"Heather….?" Naya prompted cautiously once they had packed the blonde's car.

"Yeees?"

"You're really driving us there, huh."

"If it would make you feel better, you can call up your mom and tell her you love her just in case."

There was an awkward silence where they both thought she might have been considering the sarcastic offer.

But after a moment she just walked around the car with a shake of her head and moved the camera bag out of the way so she could sit in the passenger seat.

Heather slid into the car, turned to her and winked,

"Let's get this show on the road, superstar."

* * *

Naya clung to the edge of her seat with both hands even though they were hardly moving, in the midst of a classic LA traffic jam that had been backing them up for the past half hour.

"HeMo do you really think this is a good idea?"

"Fuck yea!" Heather exclaimed giddily, as she leaned all the way over Naya while moving at half-a-mile an hour but barely looking up from the floor. She pulled her camera out of her bag and sat up straight after a few seconds, much to her friend's relief.

She flicked the camera on and pointed it towards Naya, keeping both the road and the camera screen in her line of sight and looking a bit cross-eyed as a result.

With a camera pointing so close to her face at such short notice, Naya got inexplicably shy. Heather smiled fondly and prompted her.

"So, where are we going, Ms. Rivera?"

Naya giggled, "we're headed to New York! It's recordin' time!"

"Yea, but Florida first, right?" Naya nodded to confirm for the viewer's benefit and Heather turned the camera around to face herself as soon as they slowed to a complete stop.

She grinned into the lens, biting her lip, "Nay and I are taking a bit of a vacation at a super-secret location before we drive up to New York. Because we missed each-other's faces. Isn't that right, super-star?"

Naya's hand flew on screen to flick Heather in the forehead. She winced. "Why do you keep calling me that? But yes, I guess your face is okay…and stuff."

"Poetic. I can see how you've been writing songs."

Heather turned the camera back to the brunette as she made a show of crossing her arms with a huff, and declared, "cut!" before flicking the off button and placing the device on her lap.

"Yay!" She exclaimed, turning to Naya excitedly as she slowly eased forward towards their exit at last, "That was fun!"

"I should be expecting more of that, huh?" Naya replied with a smirk, seeing how happy filming made Heather.

"YES!"

"Okay good. Now look at the road. Dear God please turn your eyes away from my face."

"But I don' wanna" Heather grumbled.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" She exclaimed, reaching her hand over – without looking thank you very much! – To turn on the radio and crank up the volume:

_They said this day wouldn't come_

_We refused to run,_

_We've only just begun,_

_You'll find us chasing the sun._

* * *

'**FLIGHT 125 TO WEST PALM BEACH, FL BOARDING IN 20 MINUTES. HOLLYWOOD TO WEST PALM BEACH.'**

Naya looked up from what seemed to be their hundredth 'intense' game of tic-tack-toe at the mention of Florida, but looked back down as if to say 'oh, that's not us' almost instantly. But Heather pulled her out of her seat and began dragging her towards where they had left their luggage like an excited puppy just a mere second after that.

"HeMo – wha-

"That's us, surprise!"

"I thought we were getting off our plane in Orlando!" Naya exclaimed breathlessly as they heaved up their luggage in record time and Heather continued pulling her along.

"Too far from the beach!" Heather panted, "rented us a small beach house!"

Naya skidded to a halt with a loud 'squeaaak' of her sneakers, and Heather nearly toppled. She released her hand and turned to look at her coyly,

"What?" She grinned.

Naya gaped.

"You – you didn't have to – oh my GOD, Heather."

"Happy almost first album? The place is really nice, Brittany and Hannah have rented it before. Are you EXCITED?" Heather bounced on the balls of her feet and Naya laughed, yanking her down into a hug.

"I think I love you," she muttered into the blonde's chest.

Heather swallowed thickly and squeezed her tight, "come on," she almost whispered, prying Naya off her and dragging them along once more, "we're going to be late."

* * *

_You'll find us chasing the sun…._

* * *

**A/N: What's this? A change of scenery at last? Heather and Naya left alone to get to know each other all over again? Who else is excited? **


	26. Chapter 23

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 23_

It seemed as though, for the past 15 minutes of the flight, Naya had done nothing but examine her closely – Heather could see it happening from her peripherals as she pretended to focus on the book in her hands.

She just didn't even know what Naya was really looking at….did she have something on her face, was her make-up done wrong, was there a smudge on her – ?

_Oh._

Heather blushed, slamming her book shut so abruptly that she startled the other girl into looking away fast enough for potential whiplash to be a concern.

"Caught you, Nay..." Heather tried, chuckling lightly even as she felt blood rush to the tips of her ears, the back of her neck tingling, but Naya continued to stare out the window as if the whispy cloud formations were something she had never seen before (a ridiculous notion for a frequent flyer like herself.)

_So, she'd have to be blunt then…._

Heather sighed, reaching up to rub at the nape of her neck nervously, as she averted her eyes and asked point blank, more like it was a statement -

"The concealer sweated off my neck, didn't it?"

_Damn Kate and her overzealous love-bites, damn her sex drive….just…DAMNIT._

Naya coughed to cover up a short laugh, turning back from the sky to look at her. The plane dipped slightly beneath a larger cloud, causing the windows to tint quickly with gray and shadows to dance across their forms. The contrast only succeeded in drawing even more attention to the still-impressive bruise, and Naya's eyes were, unsurprisingly, drawn below her face again.

"My eyes are up here," Flirted Heather jokingly, watching Naya watch her with an unsure glint in her eye.

"Yea," said Naya flatly, gesturing to her neck, "but the vampire got you down there."

_Yeeeea, she did!_ – inserted Heather's inappropriate mind proudly, almost in betrayal of her current embarrassment. In lieu of an actual face-palm she slapped her hand over the offending mark instead.

_Looks like I'll have to tell Kate she has a new nickname, from BOTH of my best friends_….she commented inwardly.

"I-uh…uh…."

_Nope, coherency isn't happening right now._

But Naya seemed very amused by her struggle, and was waiting for her to say…well, something…wasn't she?

So Heather went the simple route, and still covering her neck like it was some sort of indecency, she inquired,

"What do you want me to say?"

Naya giggled, but a barely noticeable blush had begun to creep down her tanned neck, and Heather could not help but stare at it.

"I just…hope you had fun, that's all." Naya shrugged casually, darting her eyes away for a brief but telling moment, and when she looked back, their gazes connected with full force.

Heather gulped. Naya dared to ask -

"What's her name?"

"W -who?"

Naya rolled her eyes and swatted her on the arm, nearly missing because of her refusal to break their stare.

"Your girlfriend, silly!"

Heather squeezed her eyes shut in a dramatic wince, causing Naya to blink and tilt her head with concern.

"I don't – uh…"

Grasping Heather's hand on the armrest after the girl had shakily removed it from her neck - it was now gripping the edge of her seat so tightly - Naya stroked their fingers together until the blonde's grip loosened and her eyes opened again, peacefully.

"I don't have a girlfriend," she sighed, watching their hands as they moved idly together, "It was just – and I'm single."

"Oh. Okay…" Naya said slowly, gripping her hand tighter. She looked down at the tender grasp as well and eventually, when both their eyes flitted up and they caught the intensity between them, they wrenched their necks away, with Naya looking out the window again, and Heather studiously gazing down the aisle.

"Was she hot?" Naya sing-songed, ignoring the uncertain crack in her usually steady voice. Her eyes following the dizzying patterns of the sky.

Heather let out an adorable squeak of embarrassment that almost sounded like a "yes", and Naya's lips quirked up into a fond smile that Heather, though she had turned to face the front again, still could not see.

Never mind that she was terrified, because her brain wanted to ask, 'was she hotter than _me_?'

* * *

A few hours later, when her book was finished, Heather shifted slightly so she could look at the girl resting comfortably against her shoulder and watch her sleep. She looked so…delicate, and Heather couldn't help but think that there were very few people on this Earth Naya could show her true self to in this way.

Heather reached with her right arm – her un-trapped one, to brush away a strand of hair that was dangling in front on Naya's nose, threatening to tickle it and surely wake her. The motion did cause a slight flutter against her smooth skin anyway, and Heather cooed slightly, giggling as Naya's dainty nose scrunched up in irritated resistance.

Perhaps she giggled a little too loudly.

"Mmm, wha…we there y-eh?" Naya mumbled sluggishly, wrapping both her arms more firmly around Heather's bicep and sleepily curling further against her without even opening her eyes.

Heather wasn't sure the violent pain in her chest that this action caused was something she wanted to stay within her forever, or something she never, ever wanted to feel again. She choked on a quiet gasp at the sensation and shook her head with a bittersweet smile,

"No honey," she replied softly, although she was sure Naya was already deep in slumber-mode once more, as quick as that, "I bet we just flew over Texas or something."

"mmm, k'night."

Heather giggled again, and looked around quickly before pressing a brief kiss to Naya's crinkled forehead. Naya sighed happily in her sleep at the action but didn't seem to consciously notice it. Blushing like a girl who had just been caught doing something she was told she wasn't supposed to do, Heather removed the book from her lap, leaned back, and closed her eyes at last.

Meanwhile, Naya's left eye cracked open to look up at the girl with a shy smile. But when she caught herself she frowned in confusion, and turned her face away.

* * *

"On the roaaad again!" sang Heather zealously, as she heaved all of their luggage into the trunk of the rented car she made sure was ready and waiting for them when they landed in the sunny town.

"I can't wait to get on the road again!" Chimed in Naya, laughing.

"Sing it Shrek!" Heather shouted, turning her head to watch Naya slide into the passenger seat of the car and almost closing the hood on her head in the process, "oof!"

Nays cackled, "oh my God – I didn't know we were actually doing the movie thing!"

"You mean…that song exists outside of the movie?" Heather joked with a wink, as she came to the front of the car, opening her door and carefully passing Naya her camera before getting in.

"You're a handful, Morris." Naya chuckled with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. Heather stared at her until she had the camera properly - and safely! - placed in her lap.

She then nodded in approval, buckling quickly and taking off down the street with even more speed. And Naya watched as she bounced up and down in her seat a bit, brimming with excitement, and tried to ignore how the movement seemed to affect the actual acceleration of the car.

"But you're stuck with me!" The bubbly blonde yelled over the wind as it blew through her hair, and the sound of the rushing highway began to fill their ears through the open windows.

Naya grinned, and didn't answer her, she just held onto the handle above her seat and enjoyed the fast-paced beginnings of their…admittedly shaky ride. _It was certainly going to be an adrenaline pumping week_, she thought with a smirk.

But it _was_ Heather, after all – so really, could she expect anything else?

* * *

**A/N: hmmm...what do you guys think? Keep reviewing, loves! :D**


	27. Chapter 24

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 24_

"I hope Ashley wakes up and actually has some fun while I'm away," contemplated Heather out loud as the traffic in front of them stopped moving at last, like it had been threatening to do for the past half hour.

"I'm sure she will," assured Naya, "girl's crazy, just like you!"

Heather nodded and sighed,

"Her and T better not have sex on the couch or something, though. Gross…." She mock shuddered, but she turned her head and watched as Naya guffawed and looked near passing out.

"Ex-Excuse me?" She choked out, almost laughing at the absurdity of her blonde friend's plea.

Heather scoffed, "oh please, I don't think even they know it, but they've been checking each-other out since the pool party last august. It'd be CUTE if I wasn't living with one and pretend-boning the other!"

Naya continued to stare.

Heather snorted, pulled a face at her and nearly played bumper-cars with the vehicle in front of them when her foot knocked against the acceleration a little too hard for the sluggishly-moving jam.

It took all of Naya's willpower and coordination not to get face-palmed….by the dashboard.

"Do you want me to drive, ace?" She asked sarcastically, glaring at the hardened plastic that almost caused her death.

"NooOo! And look, we're moving again! Weeee!" Heather all but squealed, causing Naya to laugh and resign herself to staring out the window as they drove towards the town that would soon be their weekend home.

* * *

***ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES - ***

Naya jolted in her seat as the loud…ringtone overrode the music playing on the radio, even from the back seat.

"Heather…your phone is ringing? That's not your normal ringtone." Her eyebrows quirked as Heather pulled over to the side of the road, nearly diving into her back seat and digging through her purse until she found her iphone. She righted herself, buckled again and turned to Naya, sounding out of breath, "I – normally I wouldn't….but if I don't answer her –

The ringtone sounded like it was about to end and she sent Naya one last pleading look, trying to convey her guilt even through her excitement before answering the call, driving off as she immediately pressed her phone tightly against her ear and exclaimed, "oh my GOD!"

Naya was starting to strongly wish she could hear this, this _girl_ on the other end of the phone that had _her _Heather so excited….

_But oh my_, she asked herself – or rather her pain in the ass conscious did, _where did this possessiveness come from?_

(And why did her conscious sometimes sound like a stuck up butler?)

She scoffed quietly as she listened to Heather's side of the conversation continue, and couldn't help but feel like a bitch as each term of endearment or excited squeal made her vision go an even darker shade of envious green.

"Babe! What's the special occasion?"

"Oh – I didn't mean to send that email to you too! How embarrassing –

"What? Oh, no – I'm not busy –

Heather felt daggers being shot at the side of her head and turned to look at Naya with an apologetic grimace quickly before blessedly returning her eyes to the road.

"I'm actually with Naya right now;" she amended, "we're still driving off to the house I rented,"

"Yea-yea….wait, WHAT? Where? Oh we have to meet up, she'll die! And I want to finally see your kid!"

Naya blinked – her eyebrows scrunching together in a way that screamed 'what the fuck?'

"Oh you'll have to call me….but I have to go, because Ms. Rivera's actually looking a little….jealous?" She reached across the console quickly to nudge Naya with the hand that held her phone, and Naya gaped, looking for words to protest the accusation but not finding any.

She was caught.

Heather returned the device to her ear, but had to self-correct the swerve to the right she had taken as a result of all the excitement.

Naya yelped.

"Heather," she stated, forcing a tight calmness into her voice, "please – please hang up the phone. Or – put it on speaker, or something. Just…" she winced, "watch the road."

Heather frowned without looking at her, acknowledging her concern, and said into the phone, "B – I know you just said you wanted me to, but why don't you congratulate Nay on her recording deal yourself?"

She sent Naya a saucy wink and tossed the phone at her. Naya scrambled to catch it, placing it against her ear without even realizing what she was doing –

"Naya Rivera? Giiirl, I wish you the best of luck on your album! Take care of my single lady this weekend, you hear? I'll be getting back to her soon."

_Click._

Naya let the phone slide out of her shaking hand and onto the floor. She would have apologized, Heather guessed…if she didn't look like she was about to cry.

"That…..that was Beyonce," she stuttered, completely in a daze.

Heather grinned widely and nodded.

* * *

Naya just stared at the phone at her feet, almost silent for the rest of the ride, although Heather periodically teased her, enjoying the reactions it caused.

"You going to ask for her autograph?"

"uh…."

….

….

"So, she said she'd call me back later… I think we'll take her to dinner – I can't wait, I haven't seen Jay in a while…"

A strangled, garbled sound.

"I wonder if she could see your fan-girl blush through the phone?"

Naya crossed her arms and grumbled childishly,

"Heatherrrrr," she whined.

"Whaaaat?" Heather parroted her tone.

"You're really mean."

"Yea," Heather sighed playfully, pulling up into the driveway of a beautiful, clay house and watching as Naya stared at it in appreciation or maybe even awe, "yea, I know."

* * *

Taylor sat at the Morendzion household's kitchen table, watching Ashley's every movement across the room as she cleaned and put away the dishes, wringing his hands together nervously.

"I'm s-

"Ah ah Ah! DON't you say it! Don't say it!" Exclaimed Ashley hyperactively as if she was waiting for him to speak, grasping the plate in her hands over her chest almost like an inadvertent shield as she whipped around to face him. He flinched before grinning on reflex at her hilariously crazed expression.

"But….I am sorry," He tried, faintly, still smiling at her in a way that totally counteracted his words.

Ashley heaved a sigh and put the plate down on the counter, before sitting heavily down in the seat across from him,

"No," she declared resolutely, "you don't get to say that because then you'll make ME feel like an ass for not feeling sorry at all!"

He stared at her, almost guiltily, but she shook her head and bit her lip,

"So say it," she urged.

"But you just said – "

"No," she amended, rolling her eyes, "say 'I am not sorry for kissing Ashley Lendzion, Heather Morris's best friend."

He parroted the phrase back to her with an eye-roll of his own, but then tacked on to the end: "Even though this makes shit awkward."

She nodded in agreement, eyeing him almost warily, shyly….but her eyes flinched away once they betrayed her and wandered down to his lips.

_Damn._

He opened his big mouth again with a sly, "but I am kind of sorry we moved so fast. I mean we practically almost had s-

"NoooOoooooOOoo!" Ashley almost sang, her voice climbing in octaves as she threw her hands over her ears, although this time they could both tell she was at least somewhat joking, and they shared a tiny laugh,

"you don't get to say that either!" She whined after a beat, slapping at his shoulder sharply, "I'm a lady, I don't put out before the first date!"

He rubbed at his shoulder in a daze, and then awkwardly brought the hand up to palm at the back of his neck.

"So," he began, tentatively, a smirk quirking at the corners of his lips, "do you want to maybe…go out for a drink sometime?"

She laughed but also nodded, so quickly that he almost didn't see it, and got up again to finish the dishes, tossing him the towel in a silent request for help.

They stood side by side for the next ten minutes, "accidentally" bumping hips as she emptied the sink and he dried everything off, and looking overheated in their mutual struggle to not blush.

* * *

**A/N: oooooooooOoh! lol. I'm having fun with this "Ashler" stuff. But what are your thoughts on the chapter as a whole? Let me know! :D**


	28. Chapter 25

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 25_

Heather lounged back on the giant sofa in the wood paneled, cozy living room, admiring all of the beautiful paintings and hanging plants or rather, the way _Naya_ was admiring them as she giddily explored the room.

It was just so fun watching her face switch between joy, fascination and confusion.

Naya stopped her aimless wandering around the room when she came upon a simple picture of several dots incased within each other, in rainbow order, over a backdrop of the night sky.

"Modern art is weird," she stated decisively, sticking her tongue out at….. the painting? - before running several paces to the couch and flopping ass-first into Heather's lap. Heather squeaked in surprise and tried to cover it with her usual snort of laughter.

She failed, and Naya giggled at her, sliding sideways to sit beside her instead – far too slowly and temptingly in Heather's opinion, but Naya didn't need to know that.

_God…._

She shook her head slightly, and Naya nudged her, mouthing "what?"

Heather shook her head again, nudging her friend back harder.

"Nothing," she said aloud good-naturedly, before suddenly becoming invigorated by the idea of - "let's go unpack the car!"

"Mo-oooom," Naya whined sarcastically, although she stood up when Heather did, "do we haaaave to?"

Heather rolled her eyes, grabbed her wrist lightly and dragged her back out the front door.

"Oo!" Naya blurted, once all the bags were out of the trunk. She ran to the front seat and retrieved the camera bag, "lets film ourselves pretending to give a grand tour!"

Heather grinned, and for the next hour or so that's exactly what they did, running around the unfamiliar house like it was a game of tag and i-spy, and hide and seek all at once.

"I bet I'll find the kitchen first!"

"You're on! Just…wait…let me put the lens on the proper setting….HEY, Come back! Cheater!"

* * *

Dianna tapped Lea on the shoulder as they were walking down the street after lunch, nodding down to her phone in distaste. They held it between them and stared at the screen.

"Di….why is Hodgson calling you?"

Dianna's nose wrinkled, "Heck if I know."

She rolled her eyes and answered the call, leaning against a nearby light-post. Lea stopped as well, standing idly beside her.

"What's up, Matt?"

"Have you heard from Naya lately…or uh, Heather?"

"No, why?" Replied Dianna quickly, causing Lea to whip her face towards her in concern, "do you think something happened to them on the road…or something?"

"No…Naya tweeted about an hour ago, something about 'this house having a kickass pool….' But –

"Well she's fine then, Matt."

"But why didn't she call ME?" The impatient man all but whined.

Dianna grimaced at his desperate tone, "I dunno, I'm not her keeper…." She drawled, not exactly kindly.

Matt bit out a harsh laugh, grumbled something inaudibly and hung up the phone.

She pocketed her phone with wide, confused eyes, and Lea asked knowingly, "trouble in paradise?"

"Trouble at home, actually…." Dianna retorted with a smirk as she linked her arm with her best friend's, "something tells me Naya's having the time of her life in _paradise_ right now."

They both smirked knowingly, and continued walking down the road –

"Hey…do you wanna go bug Mark and totally use him for his booze and a good swim? Matt mentioned something about Naya and Heather having an awesome pool right now and I'm totally jealous."

"Oh, sure!"

"Fantastic."

* * *

Heather came out of the house via the back sliding door to join Naya by the poolside, wearing only her bikini with a loose tank-top thrown over it. They both noticed that Naya could not help but stare as she laid out on the chair beside her, and they blushed equally as if it was just as much Heather's fault as it was her own for leering.

Neither called to attention the obvious concern of _why_ Naya was suddenly so interested in Heather's body. She had always known Heather's – er – form, was fit…and generally completely perfect, but Naya knew in her heart as well that the way she was appreciating it lately had become different – had mutated into something not any less positive, but certainly less innocent.

And frankly, as it usually happened when she couldn't quite figure out the things going on in her own head….she was scared.

Fucking _terrified,_ actually - but also kind of…exhilarated?

Her heart thumped wildly in her chest as she turned away awkwardly as if she had been gazing for hours, when really it had been no more than several lingering seconds.

Heather smiled kindly at her, but her eyebrows were crinkled in badly masked confusion and intrigue, and she was instantly grateful that Naya was not facing her.

"Are you alright there Nay?"

"Y-yea…I'm fine,"Naya replied quickly, without looking in her direction.

Heather acknowledged inwardly that Naya's strange behavior could really be a sort of hidden curiosity for the unknown, and nothing more… it was a suspicion she had actually been harboring since the moment she came out to her in fact - so she muttered "fuck it" under her breath, and decided to simply go for broke.

"Naya?" She questioned again, timidly. Naya turned around so that she was laying on her stomach in her bikini with her head now facing her. Heather remained on her back but turned her head as well (she of course had to try not to stare at Naya's bare back, at the curve of her hip….a slightly easier feat than normal, with her fraying nerves being the only current thing on her mind). The angle was awkward, but at least there was eye contact…

_Oh, right, Naya's waiting for you to talk, dumbass…._

Heather frowned thoughtfully, took a breath, and rambled,

"You've been staring at me…like you're weirded out, or hypnotized or something lately….I don't know if you noticed it but I did, and it's totally okay I just wanted to know if we're okay and…and if, like –

Naya cut her off with an awkward laugh, "is there a question in there somewhere, HeMo?"

Heather bit her lip, causing Naya to swipe her tongue over her own – a strange gesture of sympathy.

Eventually, she inquired quietly, and Naya had to lean in to hear her….

"Have you ever even….kissed a girl?"

Naya swallowed thickly, but held her gaze, before answering as if it was obvious, "Well yea…I mean…." Her gaze flitted downward from embarrassment as she admitted, "just you."

Heather's heart immediately stumbled into a frenzied staccato as she shook her head, shocked but also fiercely determined:

"No! – sweetie, look at me."

Naya's mouth pulled tightly together in confusion and possibly hurt, but she looked up at Heather's command, and Heather reached over the small gap between the two chairs to grasp her hand firmly.

"That -…what we do for Brittana - that's acting, Naya. A kiss – a real kiss, is something that two people share for themselves –

(_Heather was a freshman in high-school, at her first party, when her best friend Stephanie came running up to her, yanking her from her coveted spot on the dance floor. She wasn't very experienced with alcohol herself, but she knew what drunk looked like. Stephanie was definitely drunk._

"_C-cumm'on Heatherr, the boys over there said it'd be TOTALLY hot if we kissed, let's do it! Let's totally do it!")_

Heather flinched subconsciously at the memory, " - and it doesn't count if it's done for someone else. Ever. Even if it's a kiss between two girls because one or both is curious….that kiss, if you're taking part of it? It has to be for you."

(_"You were sober?" Stephanie shouted, shoving her away in the crowded hallway, "So, you, like…remember all of it?"_

"_Well, yea, was I not supposed to?" Heather shouted back defensively, fighting a blush. Her friend's face seemed to cloud over with hate, and so suddenly._

"_Did you like it, or something?"_

"_I – well – NO, but – _

_Unwittingly, her mind travelled back to the memory of tongues gliding, lips so slippery, sliding….and the mostly ignored cat-calls of horny teenage boys._

_Stephanie's distasteful hiss broke her out of her daze, _

"Freak!"

_It was her first kiss._

_But from that moment on – she refused to count it as anything but a big fucking mistake. A joke._

_Stephanie never talked to her again.)_

"What are you saying, Heather?" Naya questioned, confused, oblivious to the turmoil happening within her best friend's mind even as she spoke.

"I'm saying…we haven't kissed, Naya. You would have known it….if you were kissing me."

Heather couldn't help but think she'd been cheated, somehow – she spent so many hours preparing for those staged kisses, so many takes holding back every part of herself that she could see, and just…becoming Brittany.

It wasn't easy pretending to be in love with someone who technically WAS your bestfriend…but at the same time, totally wasn't – when you were in love with your best friend for real, not just when playing someone else. But she did it. In some convoluted way, she managed – in order to protect herself – to pull it off.

Because she wanted her first kiss with Naya to be real – _yes_, she scolded, _because clearly I've deluded myself into thinking that it will eventually happen _– and so she decided that right then, Naya had to agree that she had never kissed her.

Because Naya Rivera's first kiss with Heather Morris HAD to be with…well, Heather Morris, not Brittany S. Pierce. And perhaps that was the most important distinction of all - The difference between reality…and something so beautifully and tragically ironic, but also so _fake._

She asked again, almost afraid, and tried so hard to make it seem like some kind of new, inside joke…She tried to tease,

"So, have you ever kissed a girl before?"

The silence stretched for miles – and then,

"No," Naya contemplated seriously, completely undermining Heather's attempt at a lighthearted tone, " I guess not."

Heather managed a relieved smile, and although Naya did not know why she was so happy…she smiled right along.

* * *

After they had stayed outside on the patio for so long that the sky had become dark, and the air cool, they took in account the abruptly formed clouds and wind-blown trees and decided that in favor of hopping into the pool – they'd go inside to the house's "game room" and play a round or two, instead.

Of billiards, that is.

Which is how they got into the position that they were currently in – Naya, in jean shorts, her bikini top, and the tank Heather had been wearing before (at some point, while they were outside, she had gotten cold and Heather had insisted on being oh-so chivalrous) and Heather in a pair of sweats – and just her bikini top as well.

They were looking between each-other and the table, and Heather was teasing Naya, because well –

"What do you mean, you've never played pool?"

Naya looked back to the table again, and Heather followed her gaze. She gestured mildly,

"I just – I never bothered to learn how. What's the point?"

"The point?" Heather exclaimed, through a giggle, "there doesn't have to be a point! It's just…fun!"

Naya grumbled good-naturedly, "yea, and I bet you're kickass at it."

Heather met her gaze with a deadpan, "uh, duh," spreading her arms wide as if to say 'well, look at me,'

And look Naya did, indeed. She noticed how the muscles of Heather's bare stomach flexed as she spread her torso out, and flushed.

"Here," Heather mock-sighed, moving to pull a cue off of the wall, "I'll teach you." She handed Naya the long, slender pole and moved up behind her, subtly pushing forward with the presence of her body so abruptly situated up against one much smaller, more delicate than her own.

Heather threaded her arms around Naya's back, helping her properly hold the wooden instrument, and -

_God, this was so cliché…._

But Naya's breath was becoming shallow, and she herself felt almost sick to her stomach, in that really _good_ kind of way….and well, maybe it was finally just _right._

Her foot moved forward into the space between Naya's legs, pulling them even closer together as she explained,

"just…imagine there's a ball, right there, and slide it between your fingers, like…." Heather placed her hand over a smaller, darker one…guiding the stick just so –

"like that! See?"

She realized far too late that her mouth was gently pressed up against the shell of Naya's ear…not in a kiss, but an accidental caress, and her best friend was currently completely frozen.

The cue dropped straight down to the floor.

"Naya?" She husked out – suddenly hyper aware of the ass tightly pressed against her crotch, and the smell of perfume, or was it flowery shampoo lingering in dark, silky hair – had she even moved her lips yet, so they were no longer tasting salty skin?

Naya turned around so she was almost holding her, just on accident, just because that was how they were positioned, right? It MUST have been a coincidence….

Naya's eyes were half-lidded, and her voice was shaky as she tilted her head up to look into ocean-blue eyes and ask, - and this was it, no more kidding around –

"Are you trying to seduce me, Ms. Morris?"

Heather's jaw and throat worked compulsively as her eyes widened and she almost stumbled backward, trying to remove her arms from underneath Naya's own limbs, but Naya did not comply,

"I…." _fuck this_, she thought, without malice, and teased right back, "and what if I am?"

Naya chuckled, but wetly...in a way that promised held back tears, "then….I think I'm scared."

Heather jolted back for real then, trying to distance herself with a horrific burst of shame, but Naya wrapped her arms around her back and pulled her close.

Heather gasped out, "why?" before she realized she had even asked anything at all.

"Because," Naya breathed out, memorizing the feel of blonde hair tickling her skin, of Heather's strong muscles keeping her warm, in case she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life, "I think…I want you to," Heather didn't pull away, or scream at her, so she added, trying for another laugh, "and I think I want you, too."

Heather choked on a sob and wrapped her arms around her best friend to return the hug at last, taking it all in. But after a moment in which time seemed to stop, and all was perfect, she let her go.

"This…this has to be a dream," she whispered, stepping back and staring down at her bare feet, "you're all I've ever wanted…."

And then finally, the tears started streaming down for real, "I just need some time to think".

She turned on her heel and ran away, up the stairs – and out of the most perfect moment she could have ever dreamed up, in her entire life.

Naya slid down against the pool table, and began to shake with her own disbelieving cries.

_Great, Rivera….you've fucked it all up. What do we do NOW?_

When her phone rang shortly after and "Matt" showed up as the contact name, she threw it against the wall and was even more upset when it did not break.

* * *

**A/N: Well...that just happened. I'm actually REALLY happy with this chapter. Please please review and tell me if you agree?**


	29. Chapter 26

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 26_

The minute Heather got upstairs to the bedroom she had picked out that afternoon while they were frolicking through the halls, she choked back another harsh sob. She stood there staring at the bed, panicking, and tried to convince herself that she was ALLOWED to be shocked, ALLOWED to be a little scared – and that rushing back downstairs, wrapping Naya up in her arms and never letting her go would not be a good idea at the moment.

Not when she could barely breathe.

Not when she wasn't even _really _sure that Naya wanted her.

Her darkly sarcastic brain supplied,

_And not when my face looks….like this._

She chuckled through a sniffle and lifted one hand to wipe her eyes as she bent down and retrieved her purse with the other, pulling out her phone and breathing slowly through her nose until she was calm enough to press the speed-dial.

(Even still, she could not completely stop the tears.)

She stood again and allowed herself to fall back onto the bed, staring at the cracked ceiling and clutching her cell as it rang, like it was her lifeline. And in a way…in this moment, it was.

"Howdy partner!" Came the cheery voice on the other end, and Heather felt a surge of affection for her roommate even as her heart clenched, knowing that the story she was about to tell was going to fuck up her friend's chipper mood. It was going to ruin everything, because…

"Ash," she said with relief and as naturally as she could - like forced meditation, refusing to allow herself to feel or think anything but this phone call, this room, and the best friend who was there for her on the other end of the line - _not the one waiting for me downstairs…_but she wasn't supposed to be thinking about that.

She could already feel herself losing control as soon as she heard the touch of concern in Ashley's soothing voice, detecting the lengthy pause as she tried so hard to gather her thoughts,

"Uh oh. What's wrong?"

"I –

How did she describe it?

_I think I've been flirting with Naya too much and now she thinks she likes me, because of the attention_?

Or does she try for the more optimistic_– I may be about to get into a relationship with my best friend, and I'm scared_?

Part of her - one she didn't want to fully acknowledge – kept screaming at her, relaying her worst fear: _I'm just another experiment; Ashley….I'm just going to get hurt._

_I'm hopeful, I'm scared, I'm lost, I –_

"I don't know!" She cried out in frustration, her free hand clenching tightly into a fist and pounding down into the mattress beside her in one sharp strike that produced a less than satisfying 'thwump'.

"Did something happen with Naya?" Ashley asked gently, nervously….and Heather imagined her trying to resist gnawing off her fingernails even as she asked. Her and Ashley were similar in that way, with the strangely anxious mannerisms….but that's why _she_ chewed gum.

(She was obviously getting sidetracked, another great defense mechanism she'd picked up at some point of her life.)

"HeMo?" Ashley called down the line, concerned.

She snapped back to attention and breathed out a shaky, "Y-yea?"

"Is it Naya?" Ashley repeated, this time with conviction.

All she got in response was a bitter laugh that might has well have been a cry of anguish. She could practically hear the tears.

Ashley let out a heavy breath.

"Okay - Just…talk to me, H. You don't even have to make sense, hell, just talk. Please."

Heather opened her mouth to speak, fumbled a bit, and closed it again.

After a beat, she admitted, "I don't know where to start!"

She closed her eyes because the ceiling above was beginning to feel so tight and claustrophobic against her.

Ashley tried to sooth her, "Shhh, honey. Just try."

A flash of Naya's smile reflected in her mind's eye as she squeezed her eyelids tighter. She remembered the feel of the girl's arms wrapped around her, and that sense of comfort her memory provided was like a shock to her system. It all just came tumbling out:

"There's no way she actually meant it! She says she wants me….but I know how this happens, they always want the thrill – the newness, it's why I don't DATE girls because it doesn't matter if all they want is a good old try – that's what a one night stand IS."

Ashley tried to absorb this confusing outburst as Heather took in several quick breaths to regroup, and then:

"Everyone wants the pretty gay girl, Ash. Nobody wants me for me."

Her voice sounded so hollow, so broken, and on the other side of the country Ashley leaned against the wall of her apartment, wanting nothing more to just hop onto the next plane, wrap her up in a great big hug and take her home.

But she still didn't know what was going _on._

Was she really going to have to ask - ?

"Heather…did you….did you _sleep_ with _Naya_?"

Heather whispered, "No."

She curled up onto her side, cradled the phone against her shoulder and looked at the paintings on the wall. One looked like the twin of the rainbow modern-art piece that had made Naya confused earlier that day. She sighed guiltily,

"but I want to…"

Ashley allowed herself a giggle, despite the heaviness in the airwaves between them,

"Well duh."

Heather frowned, "No Ash. You don't understand. Naya and I got close downstairs. Too close. We were hugging, and everything felt so electric, like you always imagine it must be like in the movies… and she said….she said that she wants this too….

She says she wants me, too."

Ashley covered her mouth to muffle a squeal that Heather obviously just wasn't feeling at the moment, but she still couldn't reign in her giddy,

"Oh my God! That's…this is huge! This is –

"IT'S ALL IN HER HEAD," Heather yelled, interrupting her, her frustration reaching boiling point at last, "this is just because she thinks I LIKE her!"

Ashley replied after a moment, confused, "But…don't you? I mean –

Heather interrupted her quickly, "No, I don't. I love her. This is BIGGER than that. And don't you get it? This is what happens! 'Straight girl has best friend. Best friend is GAY. Feelings get confused!' And I'm just going to get hurt….Ashley…she's just going to tear me apart. And it won't even be her fault."

"But what if she doesn't." Ashley stated, softly. So quietly that Heather had to ask her to repeat herself.

"What if you don't get hurt….what if this is the beginning to everything you ever dreamed of. HeMo…"

She heard Heather whimper pathetically on the other end, and knew she was listening, REALLY listening, for the first time:

"What if your mind is just making this out to be a nightmare, because it seems too good to be true - but it is true, isn't it? Do you really think Naya would open herself up like that for a spark of curiosity and nothing more, if she thought she could lose her best friend?"

"I – I don't know," She choked out.

Ashley nodded to herself, her heart finally breaking for her fragile friend,

"Honey…." She began, tentatively, "What does she think you're doing right now? What did you say?"

Heather gasped, as if suddenly realizing the position she had put them both in.

"Nothing! I didn't say anything! Ash, I've gotta go!"

_Click._

And in California, Ashley just stared at her phone – praying that she was right, and she wasn't sending her best friend out to get broke.

"For what it's worth HeMo," she said to herself, remembering all the times she watched Heather flirt and smile, manipulating women into the palm of her strong hands, "to more girls than you know, I bet you're not a just a silly whim at all."

* * *

Naya stood up shakily and moved across the room, suddenly so resigned to the constant ringing of her phone, and knowing that she had to make it stop, somehow.

"Hello? Oh… hey baby."

….

"Yea – we just got in…."

….

"There was some bad traffic."

….

"Well sorry you weren't first priority on my vacation!" She snapped, and listened to his sharp intake of breath on the other end. She was so sure he was going to yell. But instead he did something much, much worse:

"I love you."

Her mouth dropped open, her jaw worked aimlessly, and eventually her face crumbled and fell.

Of course he would do this now – to diffuse her anger, to put her into shock.

_You manipulative bastard. _

"I…y-yea. You too."

She felt worse than Santana Lopez. She felt like a cheater.

But it wasn't him she felt like she was cheating on.

And as if he could sense the lie, there was silence. So she ended the call and turned off her phone.

* * *

**A/N: I hope this was worth the wait, loves! Please, please review!**


	30. Chapter 27

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 27_

Heather nearly fell down the stairs as she rushed to return to her friend, skidding into the game room ungracefully on her bare feet. Her breath was coming in uneven gasps – a result, no doubt, of crying and running at the same time.

She tried to just breathe, and ultimately succeeded in calming herself down for about half a second – which was the amount of time it took to realize that Naya wasn't even in the room anymore. She blinked, turned around partially and was relieved to see that she hadn't wandered far. Naya was sitting sideways on one of the deck chairs they had spent their afternoon in, except now it was dark, and she was silently staring at the bright reflection the moon left on the water.

Heather walked over to the door, and she must have cast a shadow in Naya's sight because the girl whipped her head around, alarmed.

Once she saw it was only Heather though, her wide-eyed expression slackened and she fell into an exhausted frown.

Heather slid open the door and stepped out.

"Is this the part where you tell me this was all a mistake? That one of us must have been reading the signs wrong? Because I'm really confused right now but I still know that's bullshit" Naya stated as she came into view. She stared at her, trying to hide her trembling nerves, her vulnerability, and the raw hurt that the fear of rejection always brought.

Heather whimpered. "Nay-

Naya's eyes hardened defensively as Heather stepped closer to her, putting a hand out as if to reach for her, not that she was close enough – but she flinched away anyway, sliding back on the chair.

"Are you even going to apologize for leaving me to cry on the floor like some…broken animal?!" The harsh bite in Naya's tone shocked them both, and Naya covered face with her hands as Heather began to cry again.

When she pulled them away, her eyes were wet as well.

"Heather, I'm sorry."

Heather sniffled, rubbed at her nose and turned her face away.

"Heather, please."

She waited until the blonde's neck slowly turned back, and blue eyes connected deeply with her own, shining with fear and uncertainty, like she was unconsciously harboring a 'fight or flight' response.

It broke Naya's heart.

A sob caught in her throat and she swallowed tightly, before shakily admitting, "I don't want to lose you. You're my best friend!"

Heather nodded, shaky as well, and sat on the chair opposite Naya, gripping tightly to its edge on either side of her legs, looking down at the cement self-consciously. She asked softly after a tense moment or two,

"Is that all?"

"Is what – Naya began, confused, but Heather cut her off,

"I'm just your best friend, right? I'm just…this can't be happening right now." Her eyes snapped shut as she let go of the chair beneath her, but Naya barely noticed because they were still pointed towards the ground.

"You're my best friend. But you're also this amazing woman, the funniest person I've ever met. You're everything. Does that…. "

She shivered, whether it was from the gust of wind or her emotional upheaval she did not know. She wrapped her arms around her torso and continued, quieter than before, "does that make sense at all?"

Heather looked up, a little braver now that Naya had opened up, "it does," she said surely, but then she continued as if determined to show her side, her greatest fear, "but what if…what if this is really how we've always been? There's no new feelings on your part, not really. And our dynamic hasn't changed, has it? And – and…what if you're just confused? I mean…just because you know I'm gay now, Naya, it doesn't mean that you're in love."

Naya's breath caught on the final word, and Heather froze, alarmed that she had let it slip out. But Naya was the first to recover, confessing quickly,

"I haven't texted Matt even once."

Heather tilted her head, unsure of the significance right away,

"Nay - what –

"He called me…and I was just annoyed…and he said he loved me for the first time and I couldn't say it back." She took in a breath in preparation, "He said 'I love you' so I turned off my phone, because all I could think about was he was cutting into my time with you. And that you had just rejected me, and I felt so…cold."

Another breeze wove through Heather's hair and brushed her own dark locks back from her eyes, and like it was some sort of instinctual thing they both looked up to watch the trees sway to-and-fro. Heather leaned forward to -without even needing to look for it- pull Naya's hand into her own.

"I didn't mean to make it seem like I was rejecting you," Heather whispered, bringing their joined hands up to her mouth and kissing Naya's palm. Naya's breath hitched, and she looked away from the stars to see her best friend in a whole new light that wasn't just the celestial glow.

"I just don't want to get hurt."

"And I don't want to hurt you, I think it would kill me to hurt you…" Naya replied, gently, as Heather lowered their hands together and began running her thumb over her fingers, swinging their arms lightly in the space between the chairs, seemingly lost in thought.

"What about Matt?" She inquired, after a minute, sounding meek and scared. She let go of Naya's hand when she didn't reply right way.

"I- I don't know."

Heather's face fell, hurt, and Naya corrected quickly, "I'm going to break up with him! I know that, but –

Heather cut in, "let me take you out first. It doesn't have to be a date….but if you'd like to consider it as that, then okay – since I'm probably going to call her up tomorrow morning anyway, our 'first date,"

(and here she could do nothing to hide her blush, her terrified eyes, her clam-y skin as she ran her palms over her sweats)

"…can be a double date with Beyonce…"

Naya squealed, and Heather shushed her with a charmed laugh, "but it's not really a date, our first date has to be real! And yes, I'll call them…I just wanted to word it like that to rile you up."

She winked and Naya flushed, and almost like magic a positive mood flooded the atmosphere around them, truly bringing them peace for the first time in a few hours. The air didn't feel quite as cold.

Heather grabbed Naya's hand again, moving over the gap to sit on the same chair, right up against her. This time Naya squeezed her hand back, hard, and leaned into her side.

Heather grinned, but Naya knew she was also completely serious as she said, "before you break up with Matt, I want you to know what being something more than my best friend will feel like, okay?"

Naya nodded, smiling excitedly, "okay."

"But….and Naya, this is important," her smile slightly dimmed, "nothing can happen, not until you break up with Matt."

Naya's face grew more serious as well, "I'm not a cheater," she stated numbly, as if slowly realizing the gravity of the situation she found herself in.

"No," Heather agreed soothingly, reaching up to run the fingertips of her unoccupied hand over Naya's skin, lighty trailing them down from her temple to her cheek . Naya shuddered at the touch, and Heather eventually cupped her hand underneath her chin to turn her face towards her own. She reiterated reassuringly as Naya's eyes melted into the blue, and in a way it felt like they had found their home,

"I know you're not a cheater. And we're going to be okay."

* * *

**A/N: This was such a struggle for me to write, and I'm sorry it isn't a little longer! What do you guys think? Was it worth it?**


	31. Interlude IV Sleep some more

I can hold my heart in two

_Interlude IV - Sleep Some More_

She and Heather had sat outside until midnight was approaching, their joined arms hooked together as they sat side by side, talking quietly about everything and nothing as the stars flickered across the ripples in the pool and wispy clouds kissed the moon, darkening the sky every once and awhile as they passed.

But once it got too cold, she had started shivering like crazy in her – rather, Heather's – flimsy tank, and Heather had noticed, giggling at her and nudging their shoulders more forcefully together, as if to say "come on, let's go in."

And they did, laughing together when they almost tripped on the pool cue lying on the floor – but now Naya was lying wide awake in a strange, too-large bed. And she felt alone as well, somehow even more so knowing that Heather was only a few rooms away.

It was if everything had changed….but nothing had changed at all. She wanted nothing more than to call Matt and break up with him right that instant, and she felt terrible for her absolute willingness to break his heart – and scared to at the same time, like a coward, knowing he would probably put the pieces together fast enough. She was also so irritatingly uncertain, just because there had been no definitive declarations of a relationship between her and HeMo…weren't they still just...well, _them_?_  
_

Her mind wouldn't stop racing, with questions like 'Is this really going to happen?' 'Does she mean it? Is she going to date me?'

'I'm going to DATE my best friend?'

Her eyes widened and she turned on her side, wrapping the comforter tightly around her as she contemplated the morals of wanting to be wrapped up in her arms, in HER bed, right now…just for some comfort, for some reassurance that this was really real, that the fabric of their relationship had been altered somehow, for the better – because that's what seemed like the natural first step to her impatient heart, her mind….also her hormones, it seemed, as she let her mind wander too far – picturing kisses and romantic hugs and…was she even prepared to think about what would come next?

_God, she was acting like an uninformed, horny schoolgirl…_

(She had the good grace to guiltily blush).

_I just…I just want Heather…. _She thought desperately, and she may have actually whined aloud into the silent, suddenly overwhelming room.

She convinced herself that this was just a case of her feeling uncertain, and that she was scared in the dark – …she only needed her best friend, and that was all.

And Heather was still her best friend!

And so, on that note, she allowed herself to get out of bed and gently tiptoe down the hall. She peaked into Heather's room two doors down, saw the girl half sitting up against the headboard and reading under the lamplight's gentle glow, and suddenly didn't feel so guilty any more about mumbling shyly when her beautiful, bookish 'Everything' glanced up at the door.

"I can't sleep".

And by the speed which Heather threw her book down beside her – not even bothering to bookmark it, she pondered and almost hoped that the girl hadn't been really reading at all.

* * *

Heather had given up on sleeping the moment she set foot in her room and felt the steady racing of her excited heart, that was finally starting to feel like it might sewing itself together slowly for the first time in years.

And it wasn't just her heart, _she_ was certainly excited as well – it felt like her whole body was buzzing with an energy….that she still couldn't, in good conscience, act on. And that in of itself was a whole new level of torture.

But it was a pain that seemed petty in comparison to the turmoil she had been suffering in the months before, so she resigned herself to the minor inconvenience of not having Naya for – if everything went as she had always dreamed it – but a few days more.

She stripped herself of her jeans and bikini and put on a pair of flimsy pajama shorts and a billowing white shirt, before hopping up and down on her toes once, then twice, and flopping down onto the bed.

Maybe everything would be set right by the time they set off for New York, maybe she could be the proud girlfriend filming her shining star as she sang for an actual record label, instead of just a proud best friend….

She grinned, actually giggled _out loud_, and rolled over to press her face into the mattress, groaning in embarrassment and with the resignation that –

_God, sleep wasn't going to come tonight, was it._

After the minutes ticked by and she realized she hadn't even bothered to turn off the light, she truly acknowledged she would be getting no rest, even as her heart calmed down to a stead beat, because excitement soon got replaced with a sobering kind of worry.

Matt was still an obstacle, wasn't he? Was she being an ass for expecting Naya to break up with him so quickly?

_No_, she decided_, because I know he doesn't make her happy. She's said as much to me…._

And Heather truly believed she could make her happy. She just hoped that circumstance and the girl herself…well, would actually _let_ her.

She knew that, in essence, Naya identified as straight – and she imagined that the girl must be nervous, or confused about herself….and in the worst case scenario, secretly unsure…

_I mean, we all know how difficult it was for me to come out, and I was just in a thinly veiled shelter of denial, I always KNEW…how must it be for her, right now?_

Her heart rate picked up again as she reiterated internally -

_She was straight…_

- And felt a surprisingly sudden pang of empathy. Not realizing that you don't know yourself as well as you thought was always hard, she knew that well.

But did she mean the 'was', as in, past tense? How could she really know for sure?...Heather grumbled aloud again, pressing herself deeper into the mattress, until the air filling her nose felt restricted by the material, stuffy and hot.

With her other senses dimmed by the material practically suffocating her, she picked out the sound of gentle, unsure footsteps quickly enough to bolt upright – coming to the decision instantly that she wouldn't let Naya see her laying like this, pathetically, in the middle of the night. So she leaned over the bed so far that she was practically half under it, rummaging around until she found a book that would suit well as a prop.

She sat up partly and pretended to read, feeling utterly ridiculous until Naya did in fact show up at her door. She put down her book…perhaps a little too fast.

_Oops._

"It's okay, Nay…I can't sleep, too," she soothed, beckoning her in.

Naya shuffled partly into the room, looking at her bed nervously as if asking a silent question. Heather swallowed noticeably, shifting her eyes down and then up again before giving her friend a gentle nod.

As if reading her mind, Naya hit the light switch before she could even ask her to, and laid down on top of the covers, putting a few inches of space between her and Heather almost reverently, laying herself out flat.

Heather strained to see her small form in the dark, and when she did, she laughed –

"Naya, I know you don't sleep like that, come here."

Naya smiled gratefully, feeling as though a whole weight had been lifted from her chest. She rolled over so that she was facing Heather and then met her in the middle – falling into her until she could rest her face in the crook of Heather's strong neck, feel her arms wrapped tightly around her back, and accomplish what, just minutes before, had seemed impossible for them both.

Their legs tangled together naturally, and without even blankets to keep them warm they smiled subconsciously into each other's hair.

* * *

They slept.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter/interlude was just absolutely bursting to get out of me - could you tell? Please share your thoughts :) - and thanks for following!**


	32. Chapter 28

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 28_

Naya was pulled from her dreams and into a (in her pretty grumpy opinion) completely unwelcomed conscious state by the sound of a phone buzzing against something glass or metallic.

She groaned and tried to flop back down solidly onto the bed in resistance to the intrusion…only to realize that she was, in effect, acting as Heather's blanket.

Yes, she was completely, solidly on top of the girl.

Her eyes widened in a combination of flustered realization and worry, thinking she was accidentally smothering her, but she lifted her chin and had to stifle a giggle when she saw Heather's peacefully closed eyelids to be the only things 'gazing' back up at her. And as much as she wanted to settle her face back against her best friend's admittedly comfortable boobs and fall back to sleep, she decided that shutting the damned cell up before Heather awakened as well was probably the better thing to do.

Shifting sideways and ungracefully sliding off of Heather, she reached out almost blindly until she got the device to stop knocking against the side-table lamp on what was probably the last ring. She flipped the phone open angrily and bit out an impatient but quiet,

"Hello?"

…about a half second before she realized what a bad idea that actually was.

_Shi shit SHIT! _She cursed herself out in her head almost desperately as an awkward pause seemed to linger endlessly at the other end of the call. In reality it was probably only about ten seconds, and when Dianna's throaty chuckle crackled through on the other end, she let out a subconscious breath of relief, because well…_fuck_….But at least it wasn't HeMo's mom!

"Uh," Was Naya's only response to her friends laugh, but she found herself muffling a snort of laughter into the side of her hand as well. Her eyes darted back but softened immediately when she realized that the sound she had heard was Heather rolling over sideways, subconsciously trying to find her 'blanket' despite being sound asleep.

She completely melted, her face easing into a grin as she scooted back into the blonde, willing to admit to herself at last that she was kind of craving the contact, and as Heather's reaching arm draped over her waist from behind her she knew instantly that she was _so _okay with being this particular cutie's favorite teddy bear.

Dianna coughed, loudly, and she guiltily stopped watching Heather sleep, whipping her face back towards the wall in front of her.

"This is awkward," she tried, jokingly, and Dianna replied with a suspicious,

"And this isn't your phone?"

This time Naya didn't even try to cover her snort. If Heather started to stir she would feel it.

"duh," she retorted simply, her eyes drooping as warmth settled within her once more, "I accidentally picked it up, sue me."

"Suuuuure," her friend sing-songed mischievously, and Naya rolled her eyes with a tired impatience.

"Did you want something, D?" She asked as kindly as she could.

"Well yea," replied Dianna as if it was obvious, "put HeMo on the phone!"

_Ugh_, she could fucking hear the girl's smug grin, and she wasn't nearly awake enough to deal with all of the implications of it. _Might as well cut to the chase then_, she thought simply,

"She's not awake….." – (Dianna was actively trying to choke back her laughter on the palm of her hand, at this point, and Naya knew it) – "call back later?"

"I'm so happy for you guys, I can't believe it," she cooed, only half teasing, before adding, "I'm sorry for you know, _waking_ you. If you wanted to get back to doing….stuff."

"I – wha – I would never cheat on Matt!" Naya sputtered, more shocked that Dianna instantly assumed that they were together than anything else.

"Huh," Dianna replied, more calmly, because she could tell that Naya's protests were embarrassed but all the same, genuine somehow.

"Well in that case, Nay, listen to me?"

Naya nodded, and obviously Dianna couldn't hear her, but she continued on after a beat just the same,

"Please don't hurt her. I don't know…I mean, it's not my business to say – but you're in her bed right now. Doesn't that…mean something?"

"Yea…it does," Naya whispered back, her lips quirking upward again even as she paused to stifle a yawn, "Di, can you keep a secret?"

She settled back even further into Heather's arms, leaning back to rest her neck against her shoulder, as Dianna responded with an eager,

"yes, of course!"

"I know how she feels about me, D. Which…I'm guessing you already knew about, too. But we talked, and …I feel it too. So much. And she knows that I'm interested in her but she doesn't know this: the second I get some time away from her today, I'm calling Matt and breaking it off."

Dianna's giddy squeal probably shattered a portion of the universe. Naya shushed her sharply as she felt Heather's arms tighten their hold on her and felt her head loll forward to slightly brush against the top of her own.

"You woke her up," she all but whined, and Dianna giggled,

"already the protective girlfriend huh?"

"Shut up. I'm hanging up now."

"Okay sweetie, have fuuun!"

_Click. _

Naya tossed the phone back onto the table with a grunt, giggling when Heather's hair tickled her face for a brief moment.

"Make the world stop for a little while longer, I don't wanna," Heather grumbled sleepily into the top of Naya's head. Naya tapped the blonde's arms to get her to loosen up slightly and flipped over to face her. For a moment, she forgot to breathe, drowning in a sea of blue as Heather's eyes lowered and slowly opened to stare at her, even as her strong arms resumed their tight and possessive hold.

"Still sleepy, huh?" She teased in an almost reverent whisper, staring straight back as if she couldn't look away.

Heather's lips pulled tight into a knowing smirk, and she nodded slightly.

Naya grinned, "Well, this is our vacation right?"

"Mmm, yea."

"Then sleep!"

In response, Heather winked clumsily before intentionally pitching herself face-forward, burying herself against Naya's chest. She grumbled something indecipherable there and eventually drifted off.

They slept for another hour.

* * *

"Hey, T?" Ashley called as Taylor wandered out of her bedroom,

"Ye-ess?"

"Isn't it sort of a super dumb idea to go to a popular LA restaurant right now?"

"Why would you say that?" Taylor asked, not sounding too concerned, as he snuck up behind her and wrapped her up in a strong hug from behind.

Ashley yelped, reaching her semi-imprisoned arm backwards to slap his ass sharply, "Hey! No heart-attacks before 12 PM! I'm an aging woman!"

Taylor laughed loudly and spun her around to face him, staring down into her face with his nose all scrunched up,

"That doesn't make any sense at all!" He teased.

"Yea, and neither will Perez Hilton's gossip headline if someone recognizes one of us – depressingly unlikely I know, but still – while we're out! I mean, c'mon, it'd be a field day for that bozo," here she took on a dramatic announcer voice as she mimicked what the page would say: "GLEE STAR'S HUNKY BOYFRIEND CHEATS WITH….HER ROOMMATE?" She widened her eyes in cartoonish shock to really sell the point, and Taylor's shoulders finally sagged a bit.

He dropped his hands from where they had been casually resting on her sides as he intoned,

"Oh. Shit."

"A whole load of it, cowboy," Ashley nodded, "believe me, I know."

….

….

"So who's going to tell our media-phobic 'Mo that she's gotta sell a break-up story to the media so her fake-ex and real-bestie can _really _get it on?"

Taylor groaned, "Nice wording Ash. Oh my god, what is our life right now?"

"I dunno but….shoty-not!" She chucked her phone at him and ran down the hall. He fumbled with it for a second before catching it triumphantly:

"HA! TAKE THAT!" He looked down at the thing in his hands, and groaned, "oh shit, does that mean you want me to call?"

Ashley's laughter was all that followed.

* * *

Naya and Heather collectively decided to be hermits and not leave the beach house for at least one more afternoon, to avoid the paparazzi and such (and also to get as much cuddle time with each other as they could without any prying eyes, but neither would admit to that just yet).

Heather swam a good fifty or so laps in the pool soon after they had crawled out of bed and into the small kitchen to get their caffeine fix, and Naya simply laid out on the chair and watched her pull herself back and forth across the water with a slow and steady strength, under the pretense of "Getting her tan on".

When she hauled herself out of the pool with her arms, which flexed slightly as all of the water cascaded off her body, Naya had to fight with herself not to stare in order to snap her head back down against her towel so it at least LOOKED like she hadn't been checking her out the entire time.

Heather was not fooled.

"Having fun, Nay?" She asked playfully, walking over to stand and hover above the girl.

Naya's nose wrinkled as drops of water flecked her skin,

"You're getting me all wet," she pouted jokingly.

And Heather…well Heather decided on a little 'joke' of her own. Hands on her hips and still gazing down on the girl, she let her eyes do what she normally actively held them from doing – freely roam, but only for a second or so. Then, returning them to lock with Naya's own suddenly wider brown eyes, she raised an eyebrow just slightly, like a challenge, before she said lowly,

"Oh, I am, am I?"

Naya's eyes widened even further as she subconsciously drew one of her arms across her stomach.

"H-Heather!" She protested, forcing out a shocked laugh. But she couldn't deny the flutter in her lower stomach, and was shocked by how easily Heather could wind her up.

Heather giggled, bending down and stretching over Naya to grab the spare towel from behind her head, making sure to go painstakingly slow and enjoying the expression shift on Naya's face as she became very aware of not knowing quite where to look once her friend had stood back up.

Naya swallowed thickly, and then coughed, turning her head to the side and suddenly becoming very interested in shielding her eyes from the sun.

Heather's grin only broadened, as she bounded back towards the house with a towel oh-so-unhelpfully draped across her shoulders, dripping wet from her hair,

"I'm calling Bey now, Nay!" She called over her shoulder, "Get all your fan-girling out now!"

Naya barely even registered what she had said, she was too busy cooling down her suddenly spiked body temperature with irrelevant thoughts and calming breaths, because she knew in her heart - which was starting to eat away at her for being an emotional cheater - that this was her only shot.

Heather would be in there talking away for a while, she knew. So Naya gulped in one last breath of air, sat up to dig around in the purse at her feet, and made a call of her own.

* * *

**A/N: So? :) you know the drill, please review, let me know watcha think!**


	33. Chapter 29

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 29_

Naya stood up from the deck chair shakily and stepped forward to stare down into the rippling water.

If she fell in, her phone would be broken at first contact, and her (most likely final) true personal interaction with Matt would be postponed. But as it was, she really didn't feel like soaking her outfit through or buying a new cell.

So she shuffled her feet back so that she was no longer teetering over the edge of the shallow end, took in a breath, and hit send.

Her last hope was the call going to voicemail….

She had no such luck.

"you were finally motivated to call first, huh?" came her boyfriend's sarcastic excuse for a greeting. Naya rolled her eyes skyward and thanked God that he was really going to make this too, too easy. All she had to do was be honest and gentle with him and he would certainly flip out, she knew it. And while she wasn't looking forward to being treated like shit, she also knew that his anger would remove any sense of guilt she felt about the sudden blow she was about to deal out.

If he had opened the call with "Hey sweetie," or even a chipper "Hi there!", perhaps she would have forced herself to wait, and break up with him in person…

(This felt like a lie, even in her muddled head. Her entire soul was just itching to throw him aside, and that, at the very least, made her feel a little sad.)

But his bitter tone and his almost bored sounding voice led her to say next, sharply and without preamble,

"Matt... just, don't."

"Jesus – don't be like th-

She interrupted him as calmly as she could, turning her head to make sure Heather wasn't going to return any time soon.

"Matt. We need to talk."

There was a silence on the other end of the phone that seemed to stretch for ages, and Naya kicked a loose stone that seemed out of place on the smooth concrete into the pool, not knowing what to do, not wanting to ask if he was okay (not yet). Finally, Matt seemed to rustle the phone around a bit as if rearranging his position. He stated roughly as if his teeth were tensed together,

"Actually I think I'll just listen. I doubt you need my fucking input."

Naya winced,

"Can't you at least be reasonable? You owe me that much," She pleaded, clutching the phone tight against her ear, feeling the weakness in her voice and wincing at what felt like the loss of her pride.

She wasn't going to beg for him to understand, not anymore. She wasn't going to let him throw her around. She wasn't going to think about how she'd been blind – for SO long! – believing that this was the kind of man she needed in her life.

_It's funny_, she thought, _how I don't think I really even need a man at all…_

"You're breaking up with me," Matt stated, "I don't need to hear anything beyond that. I'm sure I can figure it all out on my own. You've been cheating on me –

"What?!" Naya exclaimed in protest, offended, "Like I'd ever. You know that I –

"What I KNOW is that I should have figured you and the slut would happen eventually! Hollywood talks, you know? Even the secret places have ears, if you bribe the right people to listen. Your "best friend"," here his voice got so cruel and whiny as he put verbal quotes around the term, that Naya pinched her eyes closed and prepared for the worst, not prepared to cut him off yet, just in case he really was about to go where she thought he might…and if he did….

He continued, unaware of her fear and filled with rage: "your "best friend", Nay-Nay, is a FUCKING dy-

"DON'T." she screamed at him, upset that she'd assumed the worst of him and had still assumed right, upset that words like these may soon be thrown at her, horrified that anyone could hate her best friend for being who she truly was inside. She choked back a sob, "Don't you fucking DARE, Hodgson. You don't know anything about her. And do you know what I'm realizing just now? You never even TRIED to learn! She was my best friend, and you never even tried!"

"_Was_ huh? What, is she something more now? Am I not man enough, you had to try something new, someone so –

"Goodbye, Matt," Naya interrupted once last time, infuriated and hurt, shaking her head and wiping away a stray tear.

"I'm not done, yet," he protested stubbornly. And this time she found herself forcing out a laugh,

"Yea – I can see that. But I'm _so_ done with YOU."

And as it often goes…a relationship ended with the final click of a phone.

She was just glad she was finally strong enough to not let him finish –and just as relieved to let him go.

* * *

"Sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but there will really be no disguising us once we're all in one place. So being discreet and well hidden is our only hope," Beyonce insisted laughingly, as Heather paced the kitchen while talking to her on the phone.

"So…no disguises?" She queried, just to be sure.

"There's no disguising me, baby. Or _Naya Rivera_. Or –

"Okay okay, I get it!" Heather chuckled, and then joked flatly, "I was just really partial to the mustache I bought for this occasion."

"Did you just tell Beyonce you bought her a mustache?"

Heather jumped slightly as Naya's arms snaked around her from behind. But when the other girl's question had registered and she felt the press of her face against her upper back, she grinned,

"No… not quite Nay."

"It sure sounded like it," Naya grumbled into the fabric of her shirt. Heather giggled, and then flushed at whatever Beyonce had just said to her on the other end of the line,

"Wh-what, no! What would make you think – and anyway we ARE in a room, one we RENTED thank you very much!"

Naya never thought she'd live to hear the sound of Beyonce Knowles laughing at her and her best friend at their own expense…but well, there it was.

"That's not what I meant," Heather grumbled with a fake kind of grumpiness. Naya pulled away from her and moved to the side just to watch her pout. She grinned and poked her in the stomach with a tilt of her head.

Heather stuck her tongue out at her in response, holding up a hand as if to say "wait".

"Yea…we'll meet you there, if you promise to stop teasing me."  
….

"Well, duh! You and Jay _better_ dress casual! I don't have the money to compete with your gorgeous style!"

….

"Uh huh, of course gurl! See you then!"

As Heather hung up the phone Naya just blinked at her, slowly,

"So….I'm really meeting Beyonce huh." She stated flatly, as if in shock.

"Uh, yea," Heather said just as flatly, before brightening her face with a wink as she turned away,

"So let's find shit to wear!" She exclaimed, bounding down the hall, "You packed enough, right?"

"Honey, I'm NAYA. RIVERA," Naya yelled back, laughing along once she had snapped out of it, "I may have packed an entire designer store in those bags!"

"I don't remember washing that much stuff." Heather joked from inside the open door of the bedroom, still calling after her even as Naya moved closer to get to her own room.

"Oh shut up," Naya scoffed, rolling her eyes for no one to see. If Heather had heard she probably would have said, "Make me!" in that way she has…so maybe the fact that she did not hear her was for the best.

Naya probably would have broken, and kissed her senseless to do the job…except she didn't know if she had the guts, and as far as Heather was concerned Matt was still in the picture.

_Oh but I'll fix that for us_, Naya thought excitedly, _maybe even soon. Maybe I'll tell her tonight!_

Maybe tonight she and Heather could finally sew themselves together.

(At the very least, though, they were on their way).

* * *

"Oh my god, she's not answering her phone. Can I tell her to break up with me via the media in a message? Is that proper etiquette for like...a fake relationship?"

"T –

"Oh god if she finds out I'm dating you she's gonna chop my balls off."

"Oh for the love of –

"I'd like to keep my balls Ash."

"I'd like that too. But –

"BUT YOU'RE HER ROOMMATE. Heather, pick up. You're damn. Phone!"

"Taylor, babes…give me the phone. I think you're having a mental break."

"But – oh fuck. Okay."

"Shh, there there, let's go play more Pac-Man. Or you could teach me the complex inner workings of baseball."

"You're the best dear…"

Ashley giggled,  
"Yea, I know."

* * *

**A/N: I'm proud of the break up section of this chapt. in particular. But what do you guys think? **


	34. Chapter 30

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter_ _30_

Taylor had called Heather around 4 times when she was on the phone with Beyonce, so when she finally got the chance to flop down onto the couch while Naya finished getting ready, she checked her voicemail….and laughed.

Two of the messages were completely silent, and one was nothing but Taylor muttering "shit! A voicemail?" in a high pitched voice and then hanging up. In the fourth attempt anything the poor guy was trying to say to her was completely drowned out by a laughing Ashley shouting "give me that, you goon!"

She rolled her eyes fondly, put her feet up on the wooden coffee table and hit 'redial'.

When Taylor busted out with a sudden, cheery "Hello!" after the call had nearly rung out, she was not fooled. He sounded kind of shocked to hear back from her, and also really nervous.

"Hi T…" she responded, uncertainly dragging out the space between the much needed question of, "what's up with you?"

He coughed awkwardly and mumbled a slew of words very quickly, causing Heather to quirk her brow,

"Dude, you're gonna have to repeat that. Or else just put Ashley on the phone…I don't have time for your version of English," she teased. And quite honestly, she wouldn't have done so had she not already known what the call was about.

If Taylor didn't "out" his and Ashley's relationship in the next five seconds, she was going to do it for him, and save him the pain.

"Uh…" Taylor replied, "how did you know I was with Ashley?"

Heather scoffed, "Because I'm a genius, that's why." She giggled and added, "oh, and I know you're _with _my roommate too, so fess up."

Oops. Consider his pain …well... saved. Damn, she was feeling impatient today_. Must be the excitement to see an old friend. Sorry, T._ Heather added to herself, in sympathy with the boy.

"Wait oh my god what? You know?!" Taylor exclaimed, and she could almost see him throwing his hand up in the air in exasperation. There was a beat of silence before he continued,

"So you're like…okay with it?"

"Yes. Of course I'm okay with it, why wouldn't I be? But if you hurt her…or if she hurts you…oh god, I'm gonna have to take boxing lessons again or something, there's a high chance of me having some ass whooping to do, and anyways –

Taylor cut her off with a chuckle, "okay, you've proven your point. But shut up a minute, okay? There's…there's kind of more."

Heather blinked, reeling her head back very slightly in surprise so that it hit the back cushions with a 'thunk',

"Uh...okay?"

He took in a breath.

"I want you to leak to the press that we've broken up. So I can take Ash on a proper date. I mean…is that….can you do that for me?"

Again…there was a long drawn out pause. But not because Heather was upset or surprised….well, she was a bit shocked. But only because….

"Oh. Well….I didn't think about that."

Taylor laughed good-naturedly, "yea, neither did I! But Ashley was smart enough to look out for us all. I mean, I don't want to be 'that cheating whore', you probably don't want to be fake cheated on, and Ashley doesn't want the media to only notice her for being the 'bitch best friend".

"Well….fuck," stated Heather simply, running her free hand over her face, "I'm not sure exactly how to do all this? I'll call Ryan though. If I ask reaaaal nicely, he'll take care of it for me. Y'know, so my 'boyfriend' can start shacking up with my roomie….totally normal request." She stuck her tongue out…and a second later realized how pointless that was.

Taylor scoffed, but she could hear the grin in his voice when he said "yea, yea. You're the best, babe."

Heather smiled slightly, "And I'm sure you and Ash are really cute."

They exchanged goodbyes and disconnected the call.

* * *

Heather figured she didn't have time to call up Ryan right that second, and she was right. Just minutes after she put away her phone, Naya came bounding down the hall wearing both the biggest smile, and the sexiest pair of skinny jeans she had ever seen – combined with a simple but perfect black top the over-excited girl had probably spent way too much time selecting.

Because…well, _Beyonce_. But Heather imagined for just a moment that Naya had gotten dressed all pretty for just for her. She stood up with a light appreciative sigh.

"You look smokin', Nay." She stated almost gently with a gigantic grin that didn't match the softness of her tone.

Naya grinned back and did a clumsy twirl, making Heather giggle.

"And you look absolutely bad-ass," Naya stated as she came closer to Heather and looked her quickly up and down, "And..uh, really hot," she added quickly, blushing. To be honest, Heather was going for the casual-please-don't-recognize-me look, which included tight, worn out black jeans and a slightly baggy rocker tee, combined with an eclectic array of necklaces and her "fanciest" pair of converse shoes…by which of course, she meant the only pair that hadn't been ripped apart by overuse, but she supposed Naya didn't really get to see this side of her very often.

(With an inward smirk, she decided, _well we'll have to change that._)

She winked at Naya and held out her arm for her, saying in a posh British voice, "To Beyonce, m'lady?" Naya latched onto the proffered arm all too eagerly in response, and Heather led them out the door, trying her hardest to maintain the rim-rod posture of a butler or something…but with Naya clinging to her and watching her every move, giggling like they were teenagers going out for the first time…it was hard to keep a straight face.

By the time they got to the car she had detached her arm from Naya and opted to lightly smack her on the ass instead, causing her to yelp,

"Hey!"

"Sorry," Heather replied casually, before joking, "besides, when have I ever been able to help myself?"

By the look on Naya's face she seemed to be thinking back to every single time Heather had shamelessly given attention to her behind. Her eyes widened, and then she laughed out, "God, you're right."

Heather grinned back at her and stuck out her tongue as she opened the passenger door, teasingly poking Naya in the side until the she slid into her seat with a huff,

"you're excitable today, huh?"

Heather hopped into her seat – almost literally – and nodded so sharply a few times that Naya swore the car wobbled, "uh huh! I haven't seen Bey and Jay in forever!"

"I still can't believe I'm meeting them…" Naya stated with a shake of her head, trying to contain her giddiness so at least one person in the damn car was stable.

Heather turned the ignition and looked down at her lap as she muttered shyly,  
"Also…I'm just…I'm really happy I'm getting to take you out, Nay. Even if it's not a real date – I mean -"

Naya placed her hand on Heather's knee, causing it to abruptly still. Heather didn't even know it had been twitching erratically.

"I'm happy, too." Naya whispered.

Heather lifted her head and beamed at her brightly.

Naya lifted her head and prayed to God, Grilled Cheesus and Amon-Ra when Heather forgot to STOP staring at her as she backed out onto the semi-public road.

She realized in that moment that some things would just never change. It was an oddly comforting thought.

* * *

"I'm going to laugh so hard watching you try to keep your cool when we find them, you know," Heather teased as she pulled into a parking lot nearest to the restaurant they were headed to.

"Shut up," Naya grumbled, embarrassed, with her arms folded over her chest – so much like a petulant child that Heather just wanted to bundle her up in her arms right there and then.

Instead she just raised her eyebrows at the girl as she unbuckled, and uttered as a challenge, "If you don't squeal at Beyoncé or her husband even once tonight, if you don't stutter, I owe you a massage."

Naya's mouth dropped open slightly in search of a response – certain that the images that cropped into her head were things she was previously not aware she could even imagine.

"Well?" Heather inquired, her voice still carrying a playful lilt.

Naya gulped and nodded as she finally unbuckled as well, throwing the car door open and stepping into the fresh air. Heather stood and leaned over the roof of her car, resting her arms there casually.

"You don't want to lose," She assured cockily, "trust me."

(Both were certainly left wondering as they walked down the lot, eyes sporadically darting towards each other, what _actual sexual frustration_ was going to feel like. Although arguably, Heather already knew. She _did_ have a few years of experience.)

* * *

**A/N: sorry guys, I really wanted the actual Beyonce meet up to happen in this chapter, but it just wouldn't flow. So I'm about to start working on THAT chapter now, and hopefully it will be up in the next 48 hours. Forgive me for leaving you hanging like this? Review?**


	35. Chapter 31

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 31_

Heather's phone beeped in her pocket as soon as they neared the restaurant, and when she reached for it and flipped it open she let out a light chuckle and smirked.

"What?" Naya asked, impatiently. Heather only shrugged, moving to put her phone back, but Naya caught her wrist on the way down.

"Whaaaat?" She all but whined, again. Heather rolled her eyes, wriggled her wrist free and handed her friend the device.

**When a secret is out it opens many doors – B.**

"What the fuck," Naya deadpanned, handing the phone back. Heather just kept walking until she reached the front door to the building, and she had to jog to catch up. When her hand was on the doorknob she turned her head back to wink at Naya and offer a cryptic, "That was our cue."

Naya ducked her head subconsciously as she followed Heather into the dimly lit foyer, mumbling to herself, "this is some double-07 shit." Heather heard her though and let out a burst of laughter that she quickly muffled with her own hand.

They approached the hostess' table as quickly as possible. While Naya appeared guarded and on edge, Heather seemed oblivious to the slight double-takes she was already causing in a few of the passing customers, with her head held high and in the open, like there wasn't a care in the world.

"Carter's table, please?" Heather asked kindly.

To which – only heightening Naya's confusion – the young woman looked up at her, tilted her head and with a smile of recognition asked, "What color?"

Heather immediately responded, "Blue."

"Let me see," countered the girl.

Naya finally looked up fully, be damned what other people saw or thought, and threw her arms out to the front of her in a desperate gesture because, seriously,

_What?!_

Heather turned back to look at her, sensing her complete exasperation. She giggled cutely before turning back to pull up something on her phone and hand it over the desk to the girl, almost discreetly. Naya saw, now peering over Heather's shoulder shamelessly, that the message she had shown was the one Beyonce had sent her just minutes before.

The girl handed her phone back, nodded, and grabbed 4 menus, gesturing for them to follow.

"Are they even here, yet?" Heather asked curiously as they rounded the third corner, into a semi private sector of the large room – that was blocked off by, of all things, a really big, tropical looking plant –

"No, not yet," came the hesitant reply. And Heather shrugged,

"okay," she said simply, even though at this point she could see for herself, her smile brightening as the waitress placed the menus down and left them their table, "well, thanks!"

She nodded, smiled shyly and left them alone.

Naya scooted over so that she was seated right up next to Heather in the booth, and blushed fiercely when Heather moved even closer in a bold move that left their thighs all but smashed together. Still, she wasn't quite ready to let the whole secret-agent thing go…

"Can you tell me what just happened out there, James Bond?" She joked.

"We're a very important group, Ms. Rivera." Heather responded in what could only be a stoic-yet-cheesy Bond impression. Her face then broke character instantly at Naya's intensely unimpressed look.

"Oh my god," she exclaimed, placing her hands on her legs as she bent forward into the table in laughter, and the thumb of her right hand lightly brushed against Naya's upper thigh for a brief, breath- halting second, "it was just – Bey and I agreed to some…measures I guess?" she explained, looking back up, but keeping her hands where they were so she could continue to 'accidentally' come into contact with the fabric of Naya's jeans every few seconds, "I mean…Like a security code. That was the text. And Blue…like her baby? It was a silly thing so no one else could get to the table. Because I know I'm pretty common looking when I'm out of make-up, and costume and stuff. So the hostess might not have known me, and there could have been an imposter….it's silly."

A beat, and then: "But also kind of fun! I felt like…like Inspector Gadget!"

Naya blinked at her, removing her gaze from where it had been previously staring at her misbehaving hand intently, "but without all the gadgets."

"Well….with the phone…but yea," Heather shrugged her shoulders dismissively.

"…why not Bond, though?"

"I like Gadget's coat." Heather supplied, as if that were all the reason in the world. Naya's nose crinkled as her smile widened.

"You are anything but common, HeMo," she said softly. Because really, in her eyes…at that moment, as she gently caressed her thigh non-sexually, but as if it was a completely normal occurrence – debating the merit of one fictional character over another? – The blonde was the definition of perfect.

Heather blushed, and lifted her hands to the table at last so she could prop her elbows up and lean her chin on them, tilting her whole body to face the other girl,

"you're quite the sweet-talker," she replied, trying to keep her cool and look cool doing it, but holding back a giddy giggle that she knew Naya could see in her twinkling eyes and her rosy cheeks.

Naya opened her mouth to respond, and it looked like it was going to be something good, if the rising color on her neck was any indication – but suddenly the sound of a now familiar ringtone cut through the charged air

_All the single ladies_

_All the single ladies_

_Now put your hands up – _

"Hello?" Heather called into the phone quickly, somewhat breathlessly, and this time she didn't think it was from her mad dash for the phone. There was now a few inches space between her and Naya, and she disapproved of it highly.

She heard what could have been an airy snort on the other end…and then Beyonce hung up.

"Nooo," came a laughing cry from the other side of the majestic Floridian plant, "let me call again! I like the ring tone!"

And then Beyonce was literally popping up from behind a bush, hand in hand with Jay-Z, and Naya had to choke back all sound because she somehow remembered that massage Heather had promised was a thing she really, really wanted.

But still….._wow._

Heather sat up straight and smiled widely, exclaiming, "guys! Hey!" and reaching down to pinch Naya's side sharply at the same time.

Naya winced, shook her head, and shut her gaping mouth with a nearly audible snap.

And even as Beyonce and Jay-Z separated their hands and moved forward to take their seats, Heather's mouth just kept on running,

"God, B, you look so good, I love those Jeans – what designer made them?" While Beyonce looked about ready to respond, Heather turned to the woman's husband instead and continued her over-excited gabbing, completely oblivious.

Naya's heart skipped a beat when Bey gave up with a joking shrug and turned to roll her eyes and smile at her instead.

She hoped she looked like she was smirking back….and not like her lips were trembling because she was about to burst into tears.

"Jay – how's Blue, how'd the new album coming along – any fights with Kan-

"Heather!" The man exclaimed, chuckling, "slow down. Man, we've got all dinner to talk! How 'bout this – come over here and give your favorite black rapper a hug - I might even let ya hug my wife, if you behave," he winked, "and then you can introduce us to Ms. Rivera?"

He nodded at Naya, offering her a smirk, and Heather had the grace to look sheepish, scooting out of the booth on the opposite side she had come in as Jay-Z stood as well, and pulling him into a decidedly tight hug.

He thumped her on the back as indication that he wanted to breathe, but she misread the cue – and soon Beyonce and Naya were giggling madly at the sight of their dates finishing off their hug in the most bro-like, fist thumping fashion.

"…wait, why are you just my favorite black rapper?" Heather asked after the laughter had died down.

Jay-Z rolled his eyes, "honey, we all know you're your favorite white rapper," He shooed her off to Beyonce, and the two immediately pulled each-other into a warm embrace.

"Hey girl," Heather mumbled into her hair,

"Hey, Single Lady."

Naya coughed awkwardly after the hug went on for too long, almost on reflex, and the man across from her caught her eyes with a knowing raise of his eyebrow.

She flushed.

"Uh! I'm so-so excited to finally get to meet you guys!" She all but squeaked, as the re-uniting friends pulled away.

Heather stuck her tongue out at her, and she privately hoped that this wouldn't cost her the deal they had made.

_It broke the tension at least, didn't it? _She tried to tell herself. But oh, who was she kidding –

_More like it broke your irrational jealousy into big, noticeable pieces, Einstein._

She sat back and resigned herself to watching everything unfold.

_Great…_

* * *

Actually, it was pretty great.

By the time they were all finished with their dinners and thinking about desert, the slow trickle of wine through their systems seemed to have created some sort of embarrassing story competition.

Which Beyonce kind of started when she reminded Heather of the cat fight she had caused between two other back-up dancers way back when by sleeping with both of them –

Here Heather panicked, assuming that Beyonce had never figured it out – but the woman just laughed.

"Heather, honey…please. You honestly expected me to believe they were fighting over the front seat of your car for the carpool? We were going everywhere by plane!"

"So…you knew I was gay this whole time?"

"I wasn't going to put a label on a 19 year old girl. But good for you! So how long have you and Naya been dating?"

Naya nearly choked to death on her own spit, and it took almost ten minutes of explaining and backtracking to get past that one – but in the end Beyonce just winked and wished them luck while Jay-Z smirked like he too had known all along.

He, by the way, had won the unspoken contest by causing all three girls to guffaw, Naya from laughter and the other two from shame and denial, when he recounted the story of how – the last time they had reunited several years ago, Heather had practically carried Beyonce home to him, and they were both so drunk they fell asleep in a heap on the guest room bed.

(All four members of the group agreed that the image of this was hot. They just didn't exactly know they were in agreement).

* * *

"Hey, Naya – so you're starting your album recording in a few days, right?"

"Yea," Naya responded, ducking her head slightly as they turned a corner to get to the back door without being noticed. The other two walked slightly behind her and Beyonce, only much more boldly, and seemingly deep in conversation.

"I wish you luck – and I'll order a copy or two of it in advance, tweet about doing so too. You 're a sweet girl."

Naya grinned giddily and pulled her into a hug so quick B wasn't even sure it had happened.

"Uhm…Bey…can I shorten your name like that? If I took a picture of us together and sent it to one of my best friends…could you promise not to tell Heather?"

When Beyonce nodded Naya held back a girlish squeal. Not exactly because she was fangirling or anything but…

Kevin was going to _murder _her. She couldn't wait.

_Yup..._Naya grinned, _it was a great night._

* * *

**A/N: I'm hoping you guys can't REALLY tell how hard of a chapter this was for me. All in all I have mixed feelings about it. There are parts of it that I loved, and parts that I kind of hate but I'll deal with because they fit the story...tell me what you think, did I pass, at least? ;) (That means review)**


	36. Chapter 32

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 32_

As soon as the two of them returned to the house, Naya's star-struck silence she had maintained for the entire car-ride quickly transformed into a bouncing ball of nervous and excited energy.

(It was apparently an energy that kept her from completing full sentences).

"I – and then she – Jay-Z, and you, and oh my God….Heather!"

Heather watched her pace the living room, her head tilted with a smile of endearment slowly forming on her face. After a few minutes though, her mouth-muscles got sore and she became concerned that Naya would actually run out of oxygen, so she stepped forward and pulled the still shell-shocked and therefore oblivious girl into her arms. Naya sagged against her like the wind had gone out of her fanatical sails, her face dropping into the dip of Heather's neck and breathing her in like a calming drug.

"Thank you," she whispered reverently without moving at all, her breath tickling Heather's collar – because Heather was too down to Earth to realize it, but she'd helped her meet one of her inspirations that night, "Heather, thank you _so_ much," because whether Heather knew it or not, she'd given her the best almost-date of her life.

Heather squeezed her arms tighter and giggled into the mass of dark hair tickling her chin and then her nose too as she tilted her head down,

"I think you should tweet that picture," she murmured as her only reply.

Naya stepped back slightly, still keeping the hug intact, but shifting her eyes downward almost guiltily.

She'd been caught.

"The – what?"

Heather released her with a laugh, reaching into her pocket to show her phone. On it, was the picture of her and Beyonce in a text from Kevin, under which the boy had so-kindly written, "Ugh, fuck you," to the blonde out of a sort of only-half-joking jealousy.

Naya scowled,

_That traitor._

"Ugh, so I lost!" She half-whined, half laughed at herself. Heather snorted,

"yup. BUT, you get to show off a picture of you and like, the queen of everything on your twitter account. So…you also win?" Heather shrugged happily, "I'm gonna go change and stuff soon, so you should do that now! I'm exhausted."

As if on cue, Naya yawned, nodding in agreement. But she also launched forward to kiss Heather on the cheek, blushing furiously as Heather stood completely frozen, her own skin brightening as well.

"night," Naya said quickly, shyly, before scurrying off to her room, already pulling twitter up on her phone by the time she was half way there.

Heather was only able to shake herself out of it when Naya was fully out of her sight. Breathing shakily, she reached up to rub the back of her neck, before moving to the couch and sitting down heavily.

Suddenly remembering that there was something she needed to get out of the way ASAP, but not fully willing to do it right just then, she went the easy way out and unlocked the phone that was still in her hand.

**Ry**, she texted, **can you do something for me?**

She prayed that her boss was still awake, and nearly jumped in her seat when he responded right away,

_**Anything, HeMo :P**_

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly, because honestly, no one knew the sweetness of this man until they really, truly _knew_ him.

She hesitated for a second, unsure of how to word her desire, until she finally settled on something clear-cut; something simple:

**I need u to 'leak' to the press that Taylor and I hve broken up. On good terms. For him and 4 me. **

There was a longer pause this time….until her phone began to ring.

"Heather," Ryan began warningly, instead of even uttering a 'hello', "should I be worried?"

"No!" She retorted, defensively, then heaved a sigh and decided on the truth, "unless this somehow outs me…then…no."

Ryan's voice was tender and nothing but kind when he drew out a surprised, "oh….Morris, you – how long have you been keeping this a secret, huh?"

"Too long," she muttered, drifting her eyes over to Naya's closed bedroom door.

"We can keep it that way, until you're ready. Just…be careful until then, alright?"

Heather would swear she wasn't getting teary eyed…not really, but all the same – Ryan's words meant a lot to her, above many others. He was like a father to her.

"Thank you so much, thank you. Oh God, you don't even know –

"I kinda do," he joked to ease the mood, "welcome to the club!"

Heather laughed along tiredly, rubbing a hand over her eyes, "mhmm," she murmured, "it's later here, Ryan…but…let me know how the whole "media" thing goes, alright?"

"You should really get some PR management again. Real management."

"Yea, yea" she scoffed, "good night, Lady Murphs."

He scoffed back, "Right, Morris. Goodnight."

* * *

It seemed like déjà vu or something. Heather couldn't sleep, she was too giddy, too ready to tell Naya that she'd gotten another obstacle out of the way for not only Ashley and Taylor, but for them as well.

She wished that she hadn't said she was tired, she wanted nothing more than to sit up and talk with Naya all night, on this night before their last day of vacation. As much as she couldn't wait to help Naya in New York, and watch her in action, she didn't want this break from the real world to ever end.

And a part of her couldn't help but argue that if it did end, and nothing had happened between them yet, nothing that could show her where she stood…some part of it would have been truly wasted. They would never be this free from the rest of the world ever again, not without the media catching on this time.

She sighed, turned over in bed and pulled the covers around herself tighter, but it was somehow too warm and not warm enough without Naya's body heat beside her. She wondered nervously if Naya had spoken with Matt yet, and she feared what it would mean for them…well, if she hadn't. Was she still not good enough?

But then, with a gentle, rolling jolt she remembered the tingle of her best friend's lips pressed tenderly to her cheek, and with one last calming breathe to prepare herself, turned over again and let her feet touch the floor. She stood, and she tip-toed her way over to Naya's room, praying that the other woman was just as awake as she was. Maybe even for the same reasons.

(For the record, she totally was).

* * *

Naya bumped straight into Heather in her own doorway, and they bounced away from each other with an awkward, shared laugh.

"I was just – Heather stuttered out, grinning,

"Yea, me too."

There was a beat of silence as they both looked at anything but each other and shuffled their feet. But eventually, Naya lifted her gaze from the floor,

"Come in….come lay down."

Heather looked at her with such softness in her eyes that Naya's breathe caught, and she stumbled back, gently grasping Heather's wrist and tugging her into the room with her almost as an afterthought.

It didn't take long at all for them to be in pretty much the same position they had been in the night before. Heather's arms drew Naya in close, and Naya's warm legs knocked with Heather's knees in a way that was intimate, and not painful, as if in another life they had practiced somehow.

(And Heather immediately groaned inwardly at herself for having such a cheesy thought).

Her soothed, slowed breathing choked off completely when she felt the gentlest of kisses against the nape of her neck.

_God…._

_Wait…what was happening here?_

Heather shifted away from Naya, even going as far as to sit up, making Naya frown and edge away as well, leaning up on her elbow.

"We can't do this!" Heather exclaimed, her eyes frantic.

And suddenly…Naya understood.

"Heather," she started, calmly, but the girl interrupted her,

"Naya, you're still, I can't – oh god…"

She flopped backwards into the pillows, breathing heavily and covering her face with her hands, "you have to break up with Matt. Now." She mumbled into her palms, frustrated, confused, just completely overwhelmed.

Naya leaned over her, and gently lifted her hands away from her face so she could connect with beautiful aqua-blue eyes,

"Heather, would you let me talk? I did it. I broke up with Matt."

Heather's lips fell open slightly; she snapped her jaw shut, blinked and rolled over so that she was closer to Naya once more.

"You…you broke up with him? Like, officially?" She sounded like a kid who had just been told Santa was real…but wasn't quite willing to believe it because a part of her always knew it was a lie.

But this wasn't a lie.

"Yea," Naya grinned, "he's over with."

Heather held back a squeal and rolled on top of the girl, crushing her in a hug.

"Oh my god," she breathed, but then Naya-sneaky-Rivera's lips got back to work again on her stretched out neck, as if she finally couldn't contain herself any longer, and it became a moan…

"Oh, god…God, Naya, too fast, what -

– she gasped in surprise as Naya's tongue found the sharpest edge of her jaw, but, still resistant, she choked out, "w-wait!", scrambling backwards urgently but keeping her hold on one of Naya's hands, pinning it tightly between them.

Naya, her cheeks flushed and her eyes slightly watery, although neither was quite sure what sort of emotion had brought it on, looked at her with confusion, studied her trembling jaw patiently,

"HeMo?" She prompted lightly, rolling onto her back and squeezing her hand against Heather's reassuringly, offering the girl a soft smile before her face fully turned to the ceiling fan above.

"Just…let me say this, I don't think I can ever get past this…if I don't say all of this," Heather sighed out in a rush, using her free hand to brush her hair out of her face so she too could pretend her focus was on the ceiling above.

Naya squeezed her hand again, turned her head towards her and nodded, tugging at her fingers until Heather made eye-contact. Heather took a breath that was so deep they felt the bed move underneath them, like a rippling stream that followed the oxygen into her body. And then, almost as if she'd prepared it – and in a way she had, because this fear had been living inside her for so long- she spoke,

"I can hold my heart in two pieces... I've learned how to do that, it's like a talent I picked up from living the way I do. But if we do this..."

Naya opened her mouth to interrupt, but Heather shook her head slightly as if to say 'no, I have to,' because she did…this all needed to be laid out, " If we get together, and you decide that you were only 'curious' for me, in the end? That other part of me is going to leave for good. I'm going to break, Naya. Because you have the other half."

There were tears in her eyes, and Naya untangled her hand so she could pull in close again and wipe them away, and as their skin connected so reverently Heather's crying only got worse, because,

"I love you. Okay? I said it. You're that missing piece - and I'm not going to make you promise something crazy like forever. I just want you to look me in the eyes and tell me this, only this, is real."

Naya, completely speechless, and unwilling to acknowledge the single tear tracking down her own cheek, reversed the roles from before and all but tackled Heather into a desperate hug, sniffling against her shoulder. Heather gasped and stiffened slightly against her will, still too vulnerable to understand what her best friend's silent response really meant.

"Naya…I'm scared," she mumbled, as if she was guilty of some crime, and Naya let out a watery laugh.

"Don't be…you're so perfect, don't be," she let go of Heather's waist long enough to reach up and swipe at her eyes to clear her vision, and then she was gently guiding Heather fully onto her back once again, and throwing her opposite leg over her waist so that she was sitting up, and looming over her, and Heather was staring up at hear with wide sparking eyes and her trembling, gorgeous lips and just –

She couldn't breathe. And Heather wasn't moving…and Naya didn't think they were really alive, in that moment. This was something beyond that.

"Nay," Heather breathed, reaching for her somehow even though her hands stayed clenched at her sides. And Naya leaned down, and down, and suddenly Heather could experience for the first time the total warmth and completeness of Naya's nose accidentally brushing against her own, she could feel the mingling of their meager air supply in this frozen moment over both their frozen lips.

"I'm here, this is _so_ real," Naya murmured, and then her nose was tilted away from Heather's, and she missed its caress for all of a half-second – until a pair of full, sweet lips were upon her at last.

A switch flipped within, the room seemed brighter, and Heather's eyes snapped shut as she lurched up into a sitting position, pulling Naya into her lap, pulling her in tight.

It was heaven, their lips opened up at once – a collision of fire and ice, but gentler. They were sunlight, and they were snow.

Heather's tongue slid against Naya's bottom lip, her hands glided to Naya's lower back as she guided her down, parallel to how they had lain before. A chemical reaction. The tip of their tongues greeted one another, and they melted, pushing into each other with their bodies as their mouths engaged in war.

One of them groaned, and Heather, whimpering, opened her eyes and pulled her mouth away so gently, before things got out of control.

(It was one of those moments, she decided then, far too important to turn sexual. It was everything, it was more.)

Their foreheads met and when Naya opened her eyes, Heather bumped their noses together with the sweetest smile.

She could feel something shifting inside of her, a wound was stitching up.

* * *

**A/N: ...**

**I'd be lying if I said I wasn't giddy and relieved and absolutely TERRIFIED at the same time. You guys better soothe my soul and properly review. **

**- Mar**


	37. Interlude V Awakening

I can hold my heart in two

_Interlude 5 - Awakening_

Heather awakened slowly, in a moment which she would later consider to be her first taste of true peace. She opened her eyes, and was pleasantly surprised to see Naya already staring back. Sweet and alert, her eyes were the color of burnt caramel.

They both giggled softly, but neither broke contact – laying on their sides facing eachother with their knees touching they continued to watch each other's pupils react almost inquisitively. Heather's lips eventually melted into an adoring smile, her gaze softened - and the result was the widening of Naya's shy eyes as she became overwhelmed and had to actively resist looking away.

There was a beat of absolute silence where neither of them even took a breath, and then they both whispered at once,

"Morning, Nay"

"Hey, Heath'"

The quiet outburst was followed by more hesitant laughter.

Eventually though, Naya scooted forward so she could rest her head on Heather's shoulder, a position that was already becoming familiar for the two.

"Last night," she began, husking tenderly into Heather's ear, and Heather interrupted by running her hand from Naya's shoulder blade to her waist and pulling her in tight, but despite the confident action her voice did not convey the same,

"do you regret it?"

Naya shook her head so Heather could feel the tickle of her hair and kissed the nape of her neck softly,

"Last night was perfect, Heather. I've never gotten such a thrill from just _kissing_ someone like that…I've never –

She broke off, at a loss with how to continue her train of thought, her voice stopped by heavy emotion.

Heather grinned, her own eyes slightly watery, as she supported Naya's back and lower hip with both of her hands, gently rolling forward and on top of the girl, laying her flat on her back.

Naya's eyes were wide and awed, curious and searching as they had been when she watched Heather wake from sleep.

Heather bit her own lip gently as she stared openly, running her eyes from Naya's neckline to her adorable little nose, and finally back down to her plump and tempting mouth that was slightly parted in anticipation. She sighed and tilted her head as she replied with a teasing cockiness, "Your best kiss ever, I know…." before leaning down so they were chest-to-chest, their light t-shirts gliding between their enmeshed bodies as she joined their lips once more, pulling away after a moment stuck in time to admit bashfully, "mine too."

Naya grinned, reaching up to tangle both her hands in Heather's long hair, tugging gently as she murmured a command,

"Again."

And who was she, really, to disobey?

* * *

**A/N: I hope this acts as a suitable teaser, a taste of their relationship beginning. Chapter 33 won't have very much of their interaction, so I wrote this up at the last minute for you guys. You like?**


	38. Chapter 33

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 33_

Lea, Kevin, Darren, Dianna and Chris were called to set early on in the summer to get started on some Promo footage and basic pre-filming work – Ryan had insisted upon getting everything done in groups to save time and energy, and had selected them to start basically at random because well…they had been the only ones around at the time, let alone even in-state. When the five of them arrived however, they were absolutely horrified to find out that that their boss's "assistant-on-hand" for the day was none other than Matt Hodgson.

And if that sounds a little harsh…to be fair, they didn't find out about his presence on set in the most agreeable of ways.

_20 minutes prior…_

"Hey guys!" chirped Lea as she all but hopped out of her car and ran forward to catch up with the group as they walked somewhat groggily down the studio parking lot.

"Leeaaaaaaa," Darren groaned, rubbing at his face tiredly, "it's like…4 in the morning."

"It's 7 AM," corrected Kevin….but he didn't sound any happier about it.

Dianna smiled weakly at the girl, shaking her head at the large cup of coffee in her hand – "I bet that's your second cup already," she challenged, to which Lea nodded vigorously.

"Chris…." She began, turning her head slightly towards the boy who remained silent at her side, "do you want a sip?" She teased, "You look like you're ready to maul me for this java."

"No. No I'm fine," the boy grumbled, "just get that smell away from me."

"Well fine," she giggled, rolling her eyes and switching over to stand by Dianna instead, looping their arms together naturally as they walked.

"So Lady D, have you heard from our lovebirds at all lately?"

As they all showed their stage passes casually to a guard who knew it was them anyway and walked through the main gates, Dianna's eyes darted nervously between the group before she hissed out a sharp, "Lea!"

"Wh – oh. Shit."

"You guys are talking about HeMo and Naya aren't you," after receiving nothing but silence, Kevin snorted, "Please. At the very least I know Heather has the hots for my girl. So…spill."

Chris and Darren's heads whipped around to face her expectantly so quickly that they almost walked into the front door of the main-stage. They were saved only by Dianna opening it swiftly as she shook her head at the smaller girl, who didn't seem to notice because –

"Okay so Heather and Naya are in Florida right now right? And we think they're totally going to –

"Don't _actually_ spill! Lea, hon, you're practically shouting!" Exclaimed Dianna, throwing her hands up in the air as they were about to turn a corner (Lea muttered, an almost unintelligible "yea but so are you").

"Guys," she continued more calmly, after a breath, "it's really not our business to talk about –

"The lovebirds," grinned Darren.

"Yea," Kevin chimed in, "and how they're in looooo – oh god."

Matt, seemingly having appeared out of nowhere, was standing in front of them all and looking…well…furious would be an understatement.

_They shouldn't have turned that goddamned corner._

"Uh – uhm….shit," stuttered Kevin.

Darren, Lea, and Chris stared at the red face of the man in front of them blankly.

Dianna may have murmured, "fuck," as she took a 'casual' step back towards the direction they had come from.

"Everyone knew but me, huh," Matt said flatly, sounding far too serene, and having an eerie effect on the nervous group before him.

"We don't know what you're talking ab-about," supplied Lea weakly, stepping backwards to stand beside Dianna.

"Bullshit," he all but growled as he took a step forward that Darren immediately perceived as threatening, causing him to be the first of the group to step forward, immediately crowding Matt's space,

"Hey man, back off okay? Look, we're sorry you overheard our conversation; maybe we shouldn't have joked about your girlfriend like that but –

"She's not my girlfriend," he interrupted with a scowl. Darren blinked in confusion and faltered slightly, even as Dianna and Lea exchanged a very ill-timed look of joyous celebration with each other.

(Thankfully Hodgson did not see.)

"Uh, what?" Chris half-squeaked, half questioned nervously.

"Well…not at the moment she isn't…" He took a step towards Chris, and then another, unashamedly towering over the boy – even as Darren prepared to pounce on the writer, Lea, Kevin and Dianna silently moved to hold him back, staring wide-eyed at the approaching figure behind Matt - A severely, obviously unaware Matt. Clearly. Because he continued, as Ryan Murphy approached behind him, angry about all his actors being late and wondering what the commotion was about,

"See," here he smirked at Chris, causing the latter to wince in disgust, "she's a bit preoccupied right now…she's confused. Her supposed best friend is actually nothing more than a selfish, women-stealing dyke… but it's okay. I just have to wait now, for her to see the light and come crawling back…begging for me."

One minute, Chris looked like he was about to cry with rage and unadulterated hatred, and the next the line of sight between himself and Hodgson was blurred and then obscured as someone stepped right up in the smug man's face from what he would later exclaim was "like, fucking out of nowhere!"

Everything happened pretty fast after that.

* * *

"Heather, your phone just buzzed again!" Naya called from the kitchen as she tossed a couple of sandwiches and bottles of water into a portable cooler.

"Let it riiiing!" Heather called back, a teasing lilt in her voice. Once she came into view from her bedroom, a colorful towel wrapped around her waist and wearing a bright blue bikini, she grinned at the unimpressed look on her… - here her brain stuttered, because was Naya her anything yet?– well… on her _Naya's_ face.

_There you go,_ she decided victoriously, _My Naya. For now that works perfectly, wonderfully fine._

She rolled her eyes, "you're looking at me like I'm a caveman. A caveman who has forsaken all technology."

Naya didn't let up on her bored, critical expression even as Heather approached her, though at this point she was being difficult for the fun of seeing Heather react. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh come onnnn," Heather pouted, pressing up against her front and running her fingers through Naya's long hair, "you're blocking the view!"

She teasingly tilted her eyes downward for a second, and Naya uncrossed her arms to shove her away lightly and smack her side.

"Hey! Okay, okay!" She laughed, backing off, "I'm kidding. Did my phone _buzz_? Or did it like…buzz, buzz, buzz…"

Naya snorted, "it went off once. It was a text message."

"Cool!" Heather beamed, reaching around Naya to grab the cooler that held their lunch, "If it was an emergency, whoever it was would call, I mean, it's the middle of summer what could we possibly be missing?!" She nodded, pleased when Naya only shrugged in response, "And besides, today it's just you, me, and the beach my friend. No distractions…." Her smile quirked upward as Naya's eyes travelled down from her eyes to her lips, then snapped back up guiltily within seconds,

"Unless you're willing to provide some good ones," she amended saucily, "I'm always up for a good distraction."

Naya's response wasn't verbal, and it took them ten minutes to finally get out the door.

* * *

**BREAKING: Glee's 'FLOPPED' writer fired, but what does this have to do with their hottest actress being SINGLE?**

_That's right folks, I too thought the Glee cast was basically inactive right now! But apparently they still get up to shenanigans on set even when they're supposedly off it. I can't say I'm surprised! Yesterday though was a biggie for the cast and crew – as Ryan Murphy reportedly fired long time employee and recent-writer Matthew Hodgson for what he called, "a difference in morals and opinion"…I dunno, it sounds like a euphemism for something much more interesting to me, so _thanks Ryan, really, for leaving us all out.

_I mean, REALLY! I wonder what Hodgson could have done to piss off Mr. Boss Man so badly. The man does __have a history of pissing off a lot of the crazy fans(link),__ but now he's really stepped in it. I hope the Gleek crew picks up a new, better writer, and fast!_

_No word on how the two stories are related – but one of my many mole-rats picked up from the Hollywood-sphere that all Murphy planned on releasing this week was the news of Heather Morris's single, available, solitude! That's right, the never-single blonde hottie is suddenly, mysteriously _not taken!

_(Hodgson was reported by several semi-reliable sources as being seen leaving the set sporting either a busted lip or a bruising eye socket!)_

_More: Does Ryan Murphy's hand need some stitches, perhaps a band-aid?_

**PerezHilton online**

* * *

"She's not answering my texts T, shit."

"Hello to you too, 'Lee" Taylor smirked into the receiver.

"No but seriously….would it be in bad form to ask you to take me out tonight since you couldn't last time, in light of this recent drama?"

This time Taylor outright laughed, and Ashley herself even let a small giggle escape.

"Our life is ridiculous," He replied, instead of answering the admittedly facetious question.

"…"

"…do a lot of people_ really_ read Perez?"

* * *

**A/N: So, not a lot of our girls, but a heck of a lot of plot, yes? Review, tell me watcha think! :D**


	39. Chapter 34

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 34_

"So….you want to walk through the public part of the beach…to get to the private one? Or is there some sort of secret entryway?" Naya wondered, half joking, as they parked on a side-street a few blocks away from the shore and got out of the car.

"I think it's time we reminded people we're still kickin'" Heather teased as her answer, winking, as she grabbed Naya's towel from the backseat with one hand and took the crook of Naya's elbow with the other, gently tugging her along.

Naya stuck her tongue out at her, looked around at all the cars around them and muttered almost shyly, "trouble-maker."

Heather just grinned, but when she picked up the hesitant look on Naya's face she dropped her arm and really looked at her, stopping them on the corner of the street nearest to the beach,

"We don't have to…if you don't want….I can walk not-so-close to you, and we can run around the edge."

_Don't let your face fall_, she urged herself silently, but Naya still caught her uncomfortable frown.

"What- oh HeMo, honey, no! I just haven't been in the middle of a crowd for a while, we've been laying pretty low, haven't we?"

She smiled kindly at the girl and laced their fingers together as they both looked down to watch them connect.

"Yea…we have," Heather responded, smiling as well, "you're just being shy?"

"I'm just being shy. Camera shy, mostly. But if they see us together?...Hell, if they see us _together, _let them talk. I want to be as brave as you. Okay? C'mon, let's roll."

This time it was her, tugging Heather along – the blonde quickly bringing her free hand across her face to wipe away a stray tear, her cheeks flushed with bashful hope, because she hadn't even felt all that brave until that moment, not at all.

* * *

As soon as they touched the sandy shore they were moving quickly enough so that if they were noticed, they didn't even know – until they overheard a snippet of conversation happening between two teen-aged girls walking ahead of them. Soon out of curiosity and alarm they were slowing down to eavesdrop instead of hurrying past like they had originally planned, casually dropping their hands to their sides as they got closer.

"Did you read Perez this morning?"

"Oh. My. God, yes."

"Yea, I know, maybe now the show will be great again without that asshole."

(It was at this point that Naya and Heather began to nervously slow their pace even further to lurk behind the pair…because man, did this sound familiar.)

"I can't fucking wait!"

"Do you think Ryan Murphy really punched him in the face?!"

"Oh my fu –hmmmph!" Heather's exclaimation was muffled by Naya's lightning-quick hand, as both of them skidding to a stop and pivoted on the spot to face the other direction, their backs to the girls – who they saw had definitely stopped at the sound of their surprise.

"Oops" Heather stage whispered, and Naya tried to glare at her through her laughter as both of them hunched over and tried in vain to hide behind each other simultaneously.

"Do….do we ask them at this point?" Heather questioned, giggling.

"No…I think we run away."

Heather snorted, but then Naya snuck up behind her and squealed, "Carry me!"…

And as they flew past the dumbstruck girls towards the end of the public beach Heather secretly had to refrain from referencing the lion king in a very familiar way.

* * *

"Ryan punched your ex- boyfriend," Heather stated blankly, once they were well clear of the crowded beach, on a small but beautiful patch of sand hidden by a formation of wave-worn rock, "at least allegedly," she clarified with a giggle, "I mean…Perez, they said right? That little fuck."

She layed back on the blanket and looked up at the sky, her hands thrown lazily behind her head. Naya replied with a snicker,

"Yea…I know. Should I be…more upset about it? About Matt, I mean. You already know how I feel about what he did to you."

"Whatever you feel is what you feel," Heather shrugged, rolling over to face her, "do you miss him?" Her eyes took on a serious quality as she searched the girl's face. Naya's eyes softened in kind, and she shook her head, gently brushing Heather's hair off both their foreheads.

"No," she said lightly, but it was packed tight with meaning anyway, "I have you."

Heather leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss on Naya's nose, breathing in deep when she pulled away and exhaling it all as four syllables,

"Be my girlfriend?"

Naya's face lit up and her arms twitched forward slightly, as she resisted actively pouncing on the blond. Instead she held herself together for one final moment to tease, "Isn't…isn't this a date? If I dove into the ocean I'm sure I could find some shrimp?"

Heather giggled madly, grabbing Naya by the waist and pulling her into her side so quickly that she let out a high pitched squeak,

"It's a date," she muttered shyly into Naya's straining neck, enjoying the sound of Naya's sighs when she began to lightly tease her tongue over skin salty from the oceanic air, the resulting sensations relaxing them both.

"I'll be your girlfriend," Naya whimpered, the huge grin on her face that Heather could not see totally counteracting the weak sound of her voice.

Heather detached from her neck, giddily hovering over her with a grin to match, "Okay."

"Okay?" Naya teased, and Heather stuck her tongue out in response, unable or unwilling to let her face fall even the slightest bit.

It was a date, after all. _Their first._

* * *

(A teenage girl would later tweet that she "spotted Heather and Naya speeding by her on a FL beach". She honestly couldn't believe it, especially because Naya was clinging tightly to Heather's back "like some twilight spider monkey."

Her friend RT'd that "they seemed kind of married."

The internet was collectively ecstatic but not all that surprised.

* * *

**_A/N: It's a little short guys…so I hope I jam packed in some decent stuff ;). Go easy on the college kid, eh? HEYA FOREVER._**


	40. Chapter 35

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 35_

Heather and Naya stayed on the beach until near-dark, on Heather's insistence that it would be "super romantic" to see the sunset (and of course, blushing, Naya agreed). By the time they wandered back through the public beach it was just as empty as their 'private' one, and so they had no qualms about walking hand-in-hand all the way back to the car, stealing short kisses along the way.

Gripping the steering wheel tightly, Heather tried to play off the pain sitting on the hard seat was causing her as they took off down the road, but Naya definitely noticed.

"Poor baby," she teased, "you really got burned, didn't you?"

Heather turned her head towards her as she turned the car in that direction as well, sticking her tongue out and whining, "I'm like…a great white whale!"

She parked in the driveway of the house as she finished this thought, squinted, shook her head and corrected slowly,

"But like…a really skinny, smart one…and actually white," and Naya laughed, reaching across the console to rub her shoulder soothingly, and making her wince.

"Oops, sorry," She smiled in sympathy and watched, fascinated as her hand print faded from white back to red.

"Do you need any…uh, help?" Naya asked as she opened the car door, noticing her girlfriend's reluctance to do the same.

"No…yes….ugh," the horn blared as she face-planted into it with another whine, "carry me?"

Naya gaped, and then shook her head, grinning.

"Nuh –uh. No way, I don't think my arms can support 120 pounds of pure muscle."

"140," Heather corrected as she got out of the car, and Naya threw her hands up as if to say, "see?"

She ended up taking Heather's hand and 'guiding' her all the way into the bedroom where she promptly face-planted and shrugged off her tank-top, but both of them knew very well that hand-holding was something that didn't need an excuse anymore. So the giddy look on Naya's face was because the girl was laying prone on the bed in barely _anything_, not because of the simple act of their hands touching. They were uh…pretty beyond that.

Naya sighed almost dreamily and tried to cover it with a cough, but Heather heard her and lifted her head up to look over her shoulder with a coy smile on her face,

"You should look to see if the bathroom has any aloe…and then you should rub it all over me," she winked before laying fully back down, not even waiting to see Naya's reaction. Which Naya was grateful for, really, because –

_Okay, ethnic people can blush, they can really blush –_ and she may have groaned before scampering out of the room to follow Heather's flirty demand out of sheer embarrassment. She swore she heard Heather's throaty chuckle anyway before she even reached the door.

* * *

"Hey Kev!" Naya chirped into the phone, her dangling feet kicking at the water in the now all-too-familiar pool as she sat along the edge.

"Well h-eeey, BETCH WHO HAS MET BEYONCE!"

Naya all but cackled in response, causing him to fall victim to the giggles as well, and when they eventually calmed down he asked,

"No but seriously…how is she. What's she like, is she as hot in person oh my g –

"Hey fanboy!" Naya teased, cutting him off, and he made a squawking sound of protest, "she's amazing," she gushed, "she's actually really funny and yes, she's beautiful, and her and Jay-Z just love Heather and she said she's going to buy a copy of my album!" Her voice cracked but Kevin drowned it out with a loud whooping cheer,

"Girl, I'm so effing proud of you oh my god!"

Naya grinned but couldn't seem to think of the words to say, "thank you," didn't seem adequate enough. Eventually Kevin caught on to how overwhelmed she was and decided to make her….more overwhelmed?

"So, what's this about Heather?"

"Uh…what do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, lil'bee. What have you been up to? – some ladies saw you at the beach together and now twitter is all a-twitter!"

"I…uh…Heather and I…we're just…we're being ourselves, I guess…."

Naya scoffed at herself, closing her eyes she thought desperately – _come on, Nay, she said you could tell him. She wanted you to tell him, after all that went down earlier….you can do this…you can DO this._

_I can do this!_

But even thinking about what happened just hours before, before Heather blissfully fell asleep, was enough to make her freeze-up even more, shamelessly remembering it all….

* * *

"S-so," she began shakily, "how do you want me to do this?" she spread the aloe all over her hands and just…hovered above the blonde at the foot of her bed,

"I don't care…just, get up here. Kneel on either side of my legs…"

Naya flinched in surprise, awkwardly following Heather's instructions, as Heather watched over her shoulder with a small frown – the irony was that Heather was worried Naya was nervous because she didn't trust being so close to her. But Naya, in reality, was worried that she would be unable to control _her own_ actions.

And so…it became this kind of mess, where both of them were struggling to even keep eye contact.

"Nervous?" Heather questioned shyly, silently appreciated the way her long legs looked bracketed between Naya's, but drawing her gaze up to make sure Naya was okay as well.

"No…well, yes…." She rubbing her slippery hands together as she gazed down at Heather's pink back, meekly inquiring, "can I touch you?"

Heather gulped, untwisting her torso and laying her face back into the pillows, a muffled "please," leaving her lips on the way down.

When cold hands touched over-heated, stinging skin….they both groaned quietly – and if possible, the mood was suddenly all the more…sexual.

Naya ran her hands up and down the column of Heather's spine, giggling when she found a spot at the base of her back near a dimple that made the girl airily giggle. Whether she wanted to or not, she also found the places that made Heather squirm…and twitch…and moan.

She knew, just from her own body temperature, and the way her heart was beating, that she was flushed all over, and overwhelmed, and so she decided she had to do something – anything! – to redirect the situation – but what she eventually said, as her hands rested almost dominantly at Heather's sides, wasn't exactly the way to go about redirecting anything innocent.

"Flip over – shouldn't…don't you need some on your stomach as well?"

Naya was already lifting up, and Heather was already half on her back by the time she even heard the word "flip" and when their eyes connected and Naya sat back down on her hips, they caught the matching lustful spark, ignited it between them and lost their breath. Naya reached behind her, fumbling for the aloe bottle until she managed to get more on her hands – and when she placed them back wetly on Heather's stomach, they both froze.

"Naya…maybe this…maybe we should-

She was cut off not by Naya's words, but by her tongue –

"mmph!"

_Oh._

"No," Naya gasped frantically against her mouth, running her hands up until they were nearly touching Heather's breasts, and then laying on top of her, crushing them beneath her with a silent 'squelch', "no…this is good…this is…."

She moaned strongly when Heather lifted her head up and cut her off with a desperate kiss, slipping sideways with a jolt as Heather's legs entangled with her own.

She felt their tongues, gliding past teeth, sliding together quickly and needily, she felt the way that – if she stretched her fingertips – she could feel the curves of Heather's breasts, heaving rapidly beneath her –

And then she felt a different kind of movement, farther down – and almost on cue Heather wrenched her head back and away, her teeth grazing Naya's bottom lip and then biting down almost harshly on her own,

"I can't – I- "she took in a shaky breath and looked down her body, almost as if embarrassed, "if we don't stop soon….god, this is so cliché – there won't be any stopping. Naya…" there was a desperate, almost loving plea as she said her name that made Naya melt, but then she looked between them as well – and with a silent whimper she understood. Her right leg was caught in between Heather's. The movement had been the girl beneath her her – subtly rocking, and Naya watched, fascinated, as even now she could barely suppress the circular twitch of her hips.

Curiously, and with a slightly sadistic smile that Heather observed warily, she pressed forward and down with her thigh, and Heather gasped, her last breath getting caught in her throat, before blushing with what Naya worried might have been shame.

"Heather, it's okay. Do you want me to stop?" Naya asked seriously, catching her eyes and holding her stare.

Heather shook her head…and then nodded, and then just averted her eyes – "I want…my body doesn't want to stop right now but I want whatever _you_ want."

"Good," Naya smiled shyly, bashfully admiring the flush of Heather's cheeks, the look in her eyes, the sweat on her skin…"because I don't want you to stop."

Heather opened her mouth slowly, groaning when Naya increased pressure again and grabbing onto the girl's tan arms as she hovered above her, before choking out a quick,  
"what?"

Naya looked down between them, at Heather's lower half clad only in the world's smallest jean shorts, raked her eyes back up over her bare stomach, gasping when her abdominals twitched, and finally moved her hands up ever so slightly, until they were grazing a flimsy bikini top and then cupping two small mounds of warm flesh.

Heather's eyes widened and the world seemed to stop as Naya coyly uttered, with a false innocence, "I want to see what happens…" before rejoining their kiss-swollen lips.

Neither would ever say it was the first time they had sex…

But Naya would look back again and again, unable to forget the sound of those two syllables in the mouth of her beautiful blonde as she let go beneath her…

_God, __**Naya….**_

It was so simple, really, to forever transform a name.

* * *

"Naya….are you even there?" Kevin laughed after a minute or two, snapping her out of her daze.

"Yea…yea! Fuck, Kev, I'm sorry….I'm just pretty spaced out right now."

"It's okay, dork. But – you said you and Heather were just…you and Heather. That's still a good thing right?"

Kevin waited on the other end for a few more slow moving seconds as Naya gathered up her courage and admitted shyly,  
"yea…it's good, it's better than good, Bee...I think I love her."

_I love her._

* * *

**A/N:...welp ;). I hope this satisfies y'all like it did me. Are you happy for them, are you EXCITED? Please review :).**


	41. Chapter 36

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 36_

"Good morning, sleepy head," Naya murmured, curling herself further around Heather and rubbing her hands up and down soothingly over the girl's taught stomach, exposed from where her sleep shirt had ridden up in the middle of the night.

Heather shivered at the intimate caress, wiggling back to press herself further into Naya, mumbling an unintelligible protest at being woken up.

"N'wanna…" she whined, tossing her head over Naya's shoulder and giggling highly as Naya began mischeviously tickling at her sides.

"Nay!" She shrieked, pulling away and flopping onto her stomach with a groan, "It feels so early…"

Naya sat up with a gentle laugh,

"It is early, baby – We're heading to New York, remember?"

Heather rolled onto her back and looked up at her girlfriend with a dopey smile, rubbing at her eyes as she whispered, "call me that again."

"What, _baby_?" Naya winked, reaching down to gently take Heather's hands from her face and pull her up and into her chest. The blonde girl shook her hair out of her eyes with a toss of her head and leaned down for a quick peck, humming against Naya's lips, her eyes slipping shut drowsily before she snapped them back open with a jolt.

"Okay, I'm awake, I'm so totally awake."

"Yea, yea," Naya scoffed, gently tipping her back slightly to grab her shoulders and look into her eyes, her own shining with a teasing glint, "go hop into the shower, take a nice and cold one and then I'll believe you."

Heather yawned, stretched her arms up over her head as Naya let her go, cracking her neck and throwing a smirk Naya's way –

"I don't need a cold shower anymore…not after last night, princess."

She scooted backwards and hopped off the bed with a light chuckle as Naya's face flushed, her eyes darting bashfully downward.

Naya swore she heard Heather shout something like, "own that sex appeal!" goofily as the door closed and the water turned on.

And 10 minutes later she definitely did hear:

"Fuck! Babe can you toss me a towel?!"

She shook her head and resigned herself to the speed with which she obediently listened to her girl.

_Whipped….I'm whipped!_

She muffled a laugh as she partially opened the door and handed the towel in with averted eyes, thinking back to some of the blogs she had spied on recently….

_As whipped as **Santana.**_

* * *

Taylor showed up on Ashley's doorstep, a cheesy grin already in place that only widened when the girl opened the door before he even got a chance to knock.

"Missed me?" He winked, stepping in.

"I just saw you two days ago, asshole." Her shy smile completely counteracted her words and he knew it, smiling once again and reiterating,

"You missed me," punctuating his certainty with a sharp nod.

"You're an idiot…"

"And you're cute," he retorted defensively. She rolled her eyes,

"I thought we talked about this – if you can't fight right then there's going to be other things you do horribly wrong."

"I'm wonderful in bed," he joked, "if that's what you're worried about."

She stepped forward to swat at his shoulder, the loud smack echoing through the hall, and then almost as an afterthought leaned up on her tiptoes to capture his mouth in an urgent, brief kiss.

"Are you taking me out or not, stud?"

He opened his eyes with a crooked quirk to his lips,

"Yea – yea I am,"

Before grabbing her hand and tugging her out the door.

* * *

"On the road again…." Heather wailed, intentionally off tune, tugging Naya along by her wrist down the driveway, their bags tossed over her shoulders as if they didn't weigh anything at all.

"Stop that," Naya ordered, trying her best to sound stern through disbelieving laughter,

"I can't waaaiiiiit to get on the road agaiiiin!"

"Heather we aren't even in the car."

When Heather didn't respond, instead letting go of her hand at the front doors of the car to search her pockets for the keys, Naya held them up in her hand, dangling them teasingly and saying with determination,

"And I'm driving."

Heather made a show of pouting that was so overdone Naya knew – though her hyper mood had certainly returned – that Heather was still at least 25 percent asleep, and so she reiterated,

"I'm driving." She got into Heather's space, tugging the bags from her shoulders and helping her toss them in the backseat before leaning in to kiss the pout away, sighing against her lips, "please?"

Heather bit her lip gently in response, making her yelp, before pulling back with a scoff and saying, "fiiiine."

Naya laughed at her, picking up from the pavement the one bag they had yet to put in the vehicle…because, well…it was practically Heather's first born.

"Don't be so glum Hemo, look! You can film."

Naya knew she was going to get an earful of "fim-maker" Heather for the first part of the trip at leas…but hey, at least Heather was happy.

And at least they would survive the drive.

* * *

_25 minutes later._

"On the road again…..!"

"Sweetie this time I'll say it on tape. No."

"Awww, but you love me," Heather responded reflexively, causing them both to freeze and Naya's hands to tighten on the wheel for just a quick second. Heather would never admit it, but she knew Naya would eventually see how she had zoomed in the camera to capture the giddy blush that crossed her girlfriend's perfect face.

Heather was having fun already, that was for sure…

And they were only about…based on her calculations, 5 percent into the looong, long ride.

* * *

**A/N: I'm really, really sorry for the long wait guys! I hope you can be patient and understand college life sucks up a lot of my time. I'm pretty partial to the first section of this chapter...:). What do you guys think? Review?**


	42. Chapter 37

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 37_

About an hour or so into the drive, Heather fell asleep, and Naya had pulled over just to make sure her camera was safely packed away in the back seat. Now, every time the traffic jammed up, she turned her head to the right and smiled goofily at the sight of her girlfriend curled almost into a little ball, her cheek pressed tight against the window and a tiny bit of drool running down her chin.

She looked ridiculous, and Naya loved it.

Drumming her fingernails lightly against the steering wheel as the speed of the Toyota in front of her slipped below 5 miles an hour, she resisted the urge to pull out her iPhone and snap a picture of the girl, snorting quietly when almost on cue Heather's pink tongue poked out from between her parted lips, making her look like an animal playing dead and shrinking Naya's resistance even further.

_Maybe just one quick pic…._ But her mischievous train of thought cut off with a sigh when Heather groaned and tried to roll over, nearly choking herself with the seatbelt and jolting herself awake.

"Ah-uh…are we there yet?"

"…we're still in Florida, Heath'."

Heather yawned in response, stretching her arms high above her head and shooting Naya a coy look while she did so,

"Well," she said lightly, "I figured I'd at least ask!" After a moment's pause, her hands fell back down to her sides as she began looking around somewhat frantically,

"Did we forget my camera?!"

Naya choked back a laugh, eyeing the road warily as she removed one hand from the wheel to cover Heather's over the middle console.

"You were using it earlier, remember? I put it in the back seat, you big goof."

Heather mumbled a sweet "thank-you", checked the back seat just to be sure when Naya wasn't looking, and then pulled the rest of Naya's arm into her lap, twining their fingers together and using her free hand to stroke absentmindedly up and down soft skin.

Naya hummed happily at the sensation, and they sat in silence for a while, Naya barely having to even touch the gas pedal as the cars ahead continued to crawl along. They watched the trees on the road's divide sway pleasantly in the summer wind as white clouds flitted sideways in the sky.

She laughed loudly in surprise at Heather's hoot of excitement when the traffic officially began to clear, and sang a certain line from that damn Shrek song under her breath, unable to catch herself in time and therefore hoping that Heather didn't hear.

(But she did.)

"I knew you liked it!"

_Damn._

* * *

"Ryan, Ryan sweetie, wait up!" Lea came galloping after him as he pulled open the door to his car, and he turned, cradling his right hand in his left as discreetly as he could.

"What, Ms. Michele?" He asked, trying to sound cold and bored – but a smile cracked through at her adoring gaze, and he all but whined in response, shaking his head at her, "Leaaa…" because he knew what she was going to say.

"It's been a day," she urged, "don't you think you should tell Heather what you did for her?"

He stood tall, and proud, trying to affirm, "I didn't do it for her. I did it because…"

"You did it because you care," Lea interrupted softly, stepping up to him to take his badly bruised hand into her palm, "and you made a mess of yourself in the process."

"I'm delicate," he huffed, pulling his hand away and making himself wince. She chuckled and stepped away, pulling out her phone,

"You're a diva. Now, stand still."

"Why?"

"Good, just like that, don't move. Nice and angry now, like a furious papa meerkat!"

"Lea. Michele. Sarfati. Don't you point that thing at me or I'll –

"Excellent!" She exclaimed, as the flash went off right in his face. "I'm going to send this to Naya right now, 'this is the face of a man who is not feeling guilty at all about punching your ex-boyfriend in the face."

At Ryan's horrified look, she chuckled, and swore – "No, I won't do that to you, I promise. If you promise to call Heather. Or Naya. Or both – you know, if you call early in the morning I'm sure you'll catch them in the same bed." She commented, a glint in her eyes. He turned his cheek away and coughed awkwardly, a grin teasing at his lips, "you've made your point," he grumbled, "and you're lucky I don't fire you too, y'know."

But they both knew he was joking, which is why Lea felt permitted to say as she hugged him goodbye and turned to walk away, "I know! – And I'm going to frame this picture on my wall! You look _feisty_!"

* * *

Naya groaned in slight annoyance, "No – Heather, not again," as she continued to try and keep her weary eyes on the completely uninteresting road.

"One more! And this one – this one's good!...uh….I spy with my pretty blue eye –

Naya groaned again, swatting at Heather with her hand which now resting on the blonde's thigh.

"Hey!" Heather yelped in shock, grinning at her, "focus on the road if you aren't going to play with me at least, missy!"

"Oh I'll play with you alright," Naya shot back, looking sideways at her with a hard edge to her eyes that Heather felt pulse straight through her chest and down farther south.

She hummed lowly in response, putting her hand on top of Naya's and slowly inching them both up her own thigh until Naya began to squirm.

"Wanna pull over then, princess?"

Needless to say Naya immediately slowed and tried to avoid crashing, until they could make the nearest sketchy pull off zone completely theirs.

* * *

"We're like a couple of fucking teenagers," Naya admitted with a breathy laugh against Heather's jawline, kissing up it until she reached the lobe of her ear, lightly nipping at it and making the girl squirm.

"We're not – quite – ah, _Naya _- that far yet," Heather responded as coyly as she could through short gasps as her girlfriend's open lips sucked eagerly at her skin, tan and slender arms pushing her as gently as she could manage back against the passenger side door.

Naya bowed her neck downward and nipped at Heather's collar-bone sharply, causing her to yelp and making Naya giggle in response before she molded their bodies more firmly together over the awkward seats and mumbled against silky lips,

"Behave,"

Heather nodded slightly as if apologizing for her flirtatious comment, before sighing and allowing them both to fully melt into the kiss.

Their mouths parted almost instantly, simultaneously, their tongues molding together and wrapping around each other with a kind of crazed urgency, as their jaws worked in tandem…

It was if they had been doing this for years.

Heather's tongue slid across Naya's teeth, and she moaned almost gutturally, wrapping her one arm tightly behind Heather's back and pushing the other up the front of her shirt, causing Heather to gasp into her mouth in surprise as fingers danced over the material of her bra, still too shy, somehow, to make any definitive move.

Heather bit down on Naya's lip gently before pulling away just an inch, enough to make eye-contact as her own hand met the hem of her girlfriend's top. Naya nodded slightly, grinning at her through her hormonal haze, and Heather smirked right back in response, her steady hand finding Naya's left breast and kneading it firmly, as if showing her what to do.

Naya's hips bucked forward,hitting the console almost painfully, Heather fell down on top of her to crash their lips together in a show of pure want, and three things happened in quick succession after that:

They fell somewhat sideways, both of their feet coming out from where they had been kneeling on their own seats and slamming into the floor for balance,

Naya's elbow somehow hit the horn as she withdrew her hand from Heather's shirt…

And Heather's phone began to ring.

As if reacting to a bomb going off, they both scrambled to sit properly in their respective seats, even going as far as to buckle back up and refuse to look at each other as their breathing calmed. But when they did turn face-to-face a second later, they both fought to hold in groans of disappointment…and then snorts of laughter.

"That's Ryan's ringtone", Heather said, almost suspiciously after it rang out one more time…and then picked right back up again.

"Are you going to uh, answer it?" Naya asked, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly and fixing her shirt with the other.

Heather shook her head and watched shamelessly as Naya rearranged the mess she had made of her clothes.

"Let it go to voicemail – I'll call him when we get to a hotel later tonight."

Naya looked at her in badly disguised disbelief and curiosity, causing her to bite her lip and then roll her eyes,

"So we can get some sleep before the second stretch of the ride, babe. Unless of course you have something else in mind."

* * *

**A/N: I really couldn't wait to write this chapter, so I got it up a tiiiny bit earlier than I planned for you guys. I hope you like it too. Review? :D**


	43. Chapter 38

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 38_

_**Hey uh, – it's "Papa Smurph". You might want to give me a call back before shit hits the fan and you're not warned about it. I tried to be macho and ended up doing something…uh, pretty fucking dumb. But it was satisfying. Uh – anyway, I bet you're pretty preoccupied with Ms. Rivera… but don't leave me hanging, okay? See you, Mo'. **_

_Beep!_

Heather flipped her phone shut, blushing furiously under Naya's disbelieving gaze.

"Nay, don't even –

"Did Ryan just call himself Papa fucking Smurf?" She interrupted anyway, before falling into a fit of giggles that had Heather staring at her with an adoring look in her eyes, covering her mouth and fighting off her own laughter as well.

"No – stop, I shouldn't be laughing too, it's not funny!" Heather squeaked out, reaching over both of their burgers and the napkin holder at the center of the table to lightly swat at Naya's head.

(She missed).

"Okay, okay I'm sorry," Naya snuffed off her laughter with an unattractive snort that had Heather biting her lip to contain herself, "I'll stop. It's not funny….well it is, but it's also completely confusing. Do you just, cast a spell over people and make them love you?"

Heather's gaze softened and she murmured, "I don't know, do I?" causing Naya's eyes to widen and flit away, a shy smile stretching across her face.

"Sorry," Heather said teasingly, but just as softly, as she watched the telling emotions pass over her girlfriend's face. She rose her voice to a normal volume again "But yea….Ryan's like a father to me. Because I haven't really had my own in so long…so…" she trailed off with a wistful smile.

"That's sweet." Naya agreed, smiling along with her. "Are you going to call him back now though?...Perhaps break it to him that we kinda already know what went down?"

"Yeaaa," Heather drew out with a small smirk, "except I'm going to let him tell it all himself."

"You're a cruel, cruel woman." Naya joked, and Heather threw right back with a flirty cock of her head,

"You love it."

* * *

When they left the rest stop restaurant and got back in the car, Heather was actually pretty quick about calling back Ryan. The poor man barely could spit out the events that led to him clocking Matt in the face because he was so worried she'd be badly hurt by it, but Heather of course wasn't the least bit surprised by the guy's homophobic comments. She had always gotten that kind of vibe from him, anyway…and to be honest, watching Naya grab the cell phone from her hands and congratulate her boss for finally putting her ex in his place kind of made her day.

They both said goodbye to Ryan over the speakerphone, blushing when he told them to behave – and it was after they had hung up that Naya noticed that Heather was now sitting in the driver's seat of the car.

"Uh…baby?" She began, hesitantly, a quirky smile placed on her lips to hide her nervousness.

Heather scoffed at her, reaching out to actually _pinch her cheek_ and causing Naya to yelp in surprise,

"Hey!"

"Nay, I promise you this part of Virginia we're going to drive through is nothing but winding, empty roads. You'll have fun!"

Naya still looked skeptical, so she added,

"Plus, I secretly booked us a five-star hotel near the outskirts of D.C, and the faster we get there, the better. You're welcome."

She knew she was being cocky – but the smirk on her face probably put all sorts of ideas into Naya's head that she hoped more than anything the girl would actually act on that night.

* * *

_(And act on them she did)_

Naya sat straddled atop Heather on the hotel bed, bent forward and panting desperately into her mouth as the blonde ground her hips up into her in tight, controlled circles that were actually short minutes away from completely losing their pattern.

"I – I want –

Naya's voice choked off as Heather's hipbone glided up and hit its mark, and she bit down on Heather's lip hard enough to make her yelp.

"God, I – she tried again, but Heather could see that she was overexerting herself, emotionally and physically…and so she stopped the movement of her hips, lowered her hands down Naya's torso to firmly hold her waist in place and asked calmly, "What do you need, baby? What do you want?"

Naya leaned forward even further until her front was fully pressed against Heathers, gliding her lips sideways with feather-light kisses until her face was tightly pressed into her pale, straining neck. Buried in blonde hair, she nuzzled beneath Heather's ear and rasped out almost shyly,

"I need _you_. And I want you to make love to me."

Heather's breath left her lungs like a gust of wind, harshly and all at once.

"Yea," she whispered back, her eyes glimmering as she pulled Naya's face upwards and made full contact with the brunette's own lust-darkened eyes, "yea…okay," she repeated louder this time, before she shyly asked "Is this okay?" as she began to roll them both over gently.

Naya nodded, lowering her head down just in time for it to hit the pillow that was beneath her, and then Heather was engulfing her, raining kisses down on her face, then her neck, and traveling lower, gently lifting her shirt just enough to teasingly nip above her bellybutton and making Naya rasp out thickly, "take it off, you can take it off," as she raised her hands above her head, stretching herself out as Heather quickly followed her request.

"You're fucking gorgeous," Heather groaned, reaching underneath Naya to unhook her bra before sitting up on top of the girl and leaning back on her own spread thighs to pull off her own shirt, immediately discarding her own bright purple bra.

Naya sat up partially, as much as she could with the blonde girl astride her, and pulled her bra off her own arms almost absentmindedly as she stared openly at Heather's chest, her taught abs, and the line of her jeans pressing against her sexy, semi-defined 'v'. She let out a sigh as Heather gently pried the lace material from her hands, tossing the bra behind her with a cheeky wink and a lingering look at her exposed boobs before taking Naya's hand into her own and guiding it up to her own chest. The minute Naya's fingers squeezed against supple flesh they both gasped, Naya's other hand soon followed, and she whimpered as Heather's nipples hardened against the palms of her hand. Letting go of her right breast with a bold parting pinch that made Heather keen out for her, Naya reached around and took hold of Heather's lower back. She clenched her fingers into pale skin and laid back out on the pillows, using whatever leverage she could to pull Heather on top of her, immediately capturing her lips in a desperate kiss and delving her tongue deep inside.

After several minutes she began wiggling for space in between them, scrambling to unbutton first her own jeans and then her girlfriends. She sucked on Heather's tongue, pulling it into her mouth for a moment before breaking the kiss and repeating wantonly,

"I want you. Please."

Heather lowered her head and nodded, knocking lightly against the top of Naya's chin with her forehead as she took one of her nipples into her mouth.

"Ah! Please Heather," Naya whined, "God…" she grabbed hold of Heather's hair and held her tightly against her heaving chest as her hips began to buck, "I don't – I don't know what I'm doing but I want you to _love_ me."

Heather froze all movement, lifting herself slightly off of Naya using her own arms and looking deeply into her eyes.

Naya blushed underneath her curious and aroused gaze, "I – I meant…."

"I know what you meant," Heather interrupted sweetly, "and I will."

She rolled off the girl and slid out of her own jeans before helping Naya get out of her own. The silence was heavy with promise, anticipation…and something else; love.

"But I do, you know," Heather said shyly, using her eyes to silently ask permission as she glided her body down Naya's now bare legs. She knocked her palms questioningly against Naya's knees, grinning when they parted and continuing her drawn out sentence as she looked up from between shaking thighs, "love you."

"W-what?" Naya stuttered in surprise, attempting to snap her legs shut and scramble up in order to properly gaze down at Heather's face, but Heather held them open with one hand on her left thigh, and the other beginning to tease at the waistband of her underwear.

"I love you," Heather stated boldly, and then almost tenderly she asked "will you let me_ love_ you?" She watched Naya's awestruck and nodding face carefully as she reached up to pull away the last material between them, until Naya's sex was completely laid bare.

"Say it again," Naya whispered, her breathing becoming ragged as Heather moved her face inquisitively forward, as her fingers spread her wide open.

"I love you, Nay," Heather repeated lowly, "So much," she all but growled, before lowering her mouth and hooking Naya's legs over her shoulders at last.

The first touch of her lips against her sensitive nub felt like heaven, like the kind of awesome sin that would make it almost worth it to go to hell….like an electric storm.

And by the time Heather's long tongue slid inside her (she had to be held down by Heather's mighty hands) she was a goner.

As she peaked she screamed out, "Heather!"

And as she tumbled over the final cliff, her walls pulsing against the silken muscle inside her one last time, she trembled and whimpered out like it was a devoted prayer,

"I love you. I love you, too."

* * *

**A/N: Weeeeeelll, it finally happened eh? Please tell me I did this chapter justice. The first few sections were short, but I was saving the biggest development for last, hm? Review! :D**


	44. Interlude VI Sunrise

I can hold my heart in two

_Interlude 6 - Sunrise_

Heather's eyes fluttered open to the sensation of light butterfly kisses flitting up and down her neck. She sighed happily and made a show of humming contentedly, running her hand up Naya's back and pulling her close even as her eyes fell shut again,

"Mmmm, sleep."

Naya lifted her head to nudge their noses together, prompting Heather's eyes to snap back open only to be met with mischievous brown orbs mere centimeter's away.

"You want me to stop then?" Naya asked coyly, nuzzling her way back down her girlfriend's neck before pretending to pull away.

Heather half sat up quickly with Naya in her lap and wound her arms around her neck,

"mmm… 'wake!" She amended with a grin, tilting her head down to capture the brunette's lips in a searing kiss.

Naya gasped into her mouth and crossed her legs behind her back, "Mh! Yea, I can," another peck on the lips, "I can see that…"

Heather began nipping her way down Naya's jaw, enjoying the feel of her girlfriend's strong calf muscles pulling her close. Their bare pubic bones knocked together with a pleasant jolt and she grinned openly against Naya's chin.

"We're still naked," she teased, wiggling herself even farther forward so that they were pressed chest to chest.

"That's some sort of offer, isn't it," Naya half-panted out, half laughed, to which Heather responded by launching forward and pinning Naya down to the opposite side of the bed.

Naya lost herself in Heather's playful gaze until her right hand disappeared from holding Naya's own above her head, and then she became lost in brand new sensations as Heather got down to what she clearly did best.

_Boys? What boys?_

Heather giggled proudly into her ear on her next upward thrust.

_**Fuck**__. Okay_… So she may or may not have groaned that out loud. But as her world burst open behind her eyelids and Heather fell like a blanket on top of her, fingers sheathed inside and holding her close as her heartbeat slowed, she reflected that she wasn't ashamed of her 'slip-up'.

She finally had the woman of her dreams, after all.

* * *

"Heath'" Naya giggled after a few minutes of companionable silence filled with only their heavy breaths, "baby, you're wonderful, but I need you to turn over."

Heather raised her head curiously - "hm?" - Even as she did as Naya said, rolling over so she was laid out on her back beside the girl.

Naya grinned, "Thank you," she murmured, getting up to sit astride the girl.

"Was I smothering you?" Heather asked with lighthearted concern, appreciatively kneading Naya's breast with the hand that wasn't holding her steady on the mattress as Naya began to gently rock back and forth.

She shook her head 'no',

"Don't worry, _princess," _ She drawled, conscious of the fact she was firing Heather's nickname for her right back, and in almost the same context… "it's just your turn to feel some of the love."

"Fuck, Nay…" Heather moaned, as Naya slid her hips back, making room for her hand to tease lightly at Heather's dripping folds.

"Oh I will. Let's hope you're a good teacher," she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth before leaning forward and all but shoving it down Heather's throat, as Heather submitted to her for once, as she allowed herself to be engulfed.


	45. Chapter 39

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 39_

A bubbly, smiling Ashley came out of her shower wrapped in only a towel, expecting to see her man still asleep where she had left him. She froze half way out of the personal bathroom and into the bedroom when she realized that Taylor was sitting up, facing sideways on the bed, his posture slouched and his head in his hands.

"Heeeey T…." she drawled, a mix of concern and shyness in her voice, "is everything okay?"

Talyor looked up at her – and he didn't even let his eyes wander, he was usually so playful – and she knew then in that instant that something was wrong. His eyes looked hollow and tired, like he'd been sitting up and thinking since she'd entered the bathroom a half hour ago.

Naturally, she assumed the worst –

"Taylor?" She called weakly, wincing at how upset she sounded. He shook his head at her, knowing where her mind was going, and asked her to come sit by him. She wrapped the towel tightly around herself and sat on the edge of the bed, leaning herself into his side. They both smiled slightly for a brief moment, Taylor relieved that Ashley was not panicking and Ash just so damn glad that they would be okay…until he opened his mouth to speak again.

"Ash…it's okay. But…I think I just did something really, really dumb."

She looked down and saw her cellphone – identical to Taylor's except for a small ladybug sticker she had pasted to the back – lying ominously on the floor.

* * *

"One more hour in this godforsaken car and I'm going to scream," Naya groaned, her head falling onto the dashboard with a dull clunk.

"Well….you pulled over and actually let me drive a about a hundred miles ago – I think you've already lost it, babe." Heather teased back, for once looking straight out at the road and paying attention one-hundred percent because of the annoying stop/start traffic pattern.

"Mmmm, I hate you," Naya mumbled back, face-deep in the soft plastic of the glove compartment. She managed to make the statement sound not at all convincing, actually quite…loving, and it made Heather laugh, knowing her girlfriend was undoubtedly getting funny line imprints all over her face.

"You're cute."

Naya sat back up, and this time her head fell back sharply against the seat, her eyes closing on impact,

"Nooo I'm not. I'm bored and tired."

"Well we're driving through Delaware, and that should only take an hour. Eventually we'll be cruisin' past New Jersey," Heather responded, "I think you'll make it."

Naya's eyes slid open lazily, her head turning to watch her girlfriend's easy-going profile. She smiled apologetically,

"Heather, look at me."

And Heather did, making sure to ease up on the gas and watch the brakes, her head tilting to catch Naya's eyes. Once she did, Naya spoke,  
"I'm sorry. You're on this trip with me, driving for me – you're going to film everything like I asked you to and here I am being a pain in the ass."

She shrugged self-depreciatingly and looked down at her lap, wringing her hands the way Santana would, all those times she was totally lost in the presence of Brittany S. Pierce.

The significance wasn't lost on either of them.

"Nay – if I didn't come on this trip I'd still be completely head-over-heels for you, only you wouldn't know it yet. I'm here to help you as much as I am to get close to you. And this has been the most amazing vacation I've ever had. If anything I'm the one who's selfish."

Heather said her piece softly before being forced to look at the road again, and though she could no longer see it she felt Naya's eyes on her, and her slender fingers reaching over, stroking up and down her jittering knee.

"This is why I don't like when you drive, twitchy," Naya giggled awkwardly, pinching at Heather's knee and making her yelp with a laugh. After a beat, when Heather didn't verbally answer her, she spoke up again, more confidently this time:

"It's the best I've ever had too, you know - This vacation…" she sucked in a breath, "and you." She watched in satisfaction as Heather melted, but then the perfect moment was ruined by the sound of a beeping phone.

Heather's brow knit together quizzically, and she waiting until she had the clear to pull over onto the side of the road.

"Heath', wha –

"It's a voicemail," she interrupted, digging around for her cell, "I'm just worried. I didn't even here it ring. Did you?"

Naya shook her head and waited for Heather to finish listening to the message of whoever had called.

She bit her lip and watched with growing concern as the girl grew progressively as white as a sheet.

"Baby, are you okay?"

Heather shook her head, and her eyes watered – and instead of answering she just hit the replay button and handed Naya her phone with a shaky hand.

Naya's eyebrows furrowed, a question clear in her eyes, but she took the phone and held it up to her ear, her expression morphing into one of horror as the unexpected, clear voice rang through on the other end,

"_Heather, sweetie – why didn't you tell me you broke things off with Taylor? Such a lovely boy, and I had to hear it from him? I tried calling Ashley because I know you're busy, and I hadn't heard from you all month but –_

The voice grew weary,_ "you know I don't like hearing about all those, you know, 'rumors' and such. But I had your sister look some of them up because I'm clearly out of the loop. And I think we should have a talk."_

"Fuck."

"Naya – I don't…I don't know what I'm supposed to –

"Fuck," her voice cracked, as she roughly handed Heather back her phone, "I'm going to kill him! Fuck!"

"Naya….please don't – Heather's voice broke as she began to cry in earnest, and Naya flung her seat belt off in an instant to reach across the console and pull the blonde into a fierce, protective hug.

"Let me drive, Heather. Just…switch with me, and then – I don't know, okay? I'll find us someplace to get some coffee and we'll figure this whole mess out."

Heather nodded, but the same amending thought ran through both of their heads at the same time.

_I hope…_

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the wait guys, but at least I can say this is a chapter I'm actually kind of proud of. What about you guys? Review! Tell me your thoughts! :)**


	46. Chapter 40

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 40_

"T….I don't like this. What did you do?"

Taylor hung his head as he nodded to the phone on the floor.

"I thought it was mine…so I picked it up."

Ashley bent down briefly to retrieve the phone, before she sat back up to truly look at him. She didn't like what she saw. His eyes were almost panicked, and he looked like he thought she was going to smack him. What the hell could he have possibly done so wrong?

"Check the latest call, Ash." He all but whispered. Ashley unlocked her screen and did as she was told.

She read:

'**Mamma Morris'**

And it took a few seconds for her brain to catch up to the implications. Taylor probably answered sounding tired….Taylor….well, obviously didn't realize it was his girlfriend's phone.

He talked to his apparent 'girlfriend's mother from the bed of her best friend.

"Fuck, Taylor!"

"I know, I know! God, I told you I fucked up, alright!"

He flung himself backwards and stared forlornly at the ceiling as Ashley began to pace, and rant, and well…freak out as much as he had just minutes before.

"What the hell were you thinking?! Did she say anything? Did you say anything?"

She turned on him, and noticed that his eyes were squeezed shut as he mumbled a hesitant "uh….well…." so she manhandled him back into a sitting position so she could properly stare him down from where she now stood.

"T….come on. I promise I won't actually kill you if you tell me what the effing shit went down." She attempted to smile at him reassuringly. It came out as more of a grimace.

"I don't want to bore you with the details?" He tried, weakly.

She scoffed at him, so he spoke again, more firmly,

"I didn't mean it to come out the way it did."

"Tay…baby….my great big idiotic boyfriend," she droned on sweetly, with a terrifying look in her eye that finally cowed him. He bit his lip and looked away, "I'm getting impatient, alright? Tell me. Out with it! SPEAK, BOY! How else can I put it?"

"ALRIGHT, I'm sorry okay? But she started yelling at me about cheating on her daughter because she's not stupid and – and she knew it was your phone and I was yawning in her fucking ear….so I may have snapped."

He paused, and gulped,

"I told Mrs. M I wasn't Heather's boyfriend anymore."

Ashley glared daggers at him, ready to scream out "YOU WHAT?" but she stopped when she saw the self-hatred in his eyes.

"Ash…." He mumbled, "what if…what if her mother…finds out about her?"

"I don't know T," Ashley sighed, sitting back next to her broken boyfriend, "I honestly don't have a clue."

* * *

"Nay, do I have to call her?" Heather worried at her fingernails with her teeth in between almost every sentence, nervously pacing outside the Starbucks Naya had located for them on short notice as a bit of a 'panic stop'.

"Do you want her to find everything out on her own?"

"N-no", Heather whimpered, plopping herself down on the curb with her head in her hands. She began sniffling again, and Naya winced in sympathy, sitting down next to her on the sidewalk. "Heather…" she began, attempting to find something to say that would sooth her girlfriend. But she came up empty. Honestly, she just found herself hoping that Heather wouldn't realize that she was completely scared, too.

"I want to call her now. Before I lose all my nerve."

"Are you sure baby?"

Heather looked up, tears welling in her eyes, and nodded with as much determination as she could muster (which really, wasn't a lot).

"Y-yea. I'm…I'm sure."

"I'll be right here." Naya urged, rubbing her hands up and down Heather's shoulders and leaning forward so that they had as much bodily contact as they could from the angle they were sitting.

Heather seemed to actually shy away from the contact. Her body tensed and she jumped up, trying desperately to conceal a sob.

"Actually Naya? I think I'll call from the car." She began to walk away but turned to catch Naya's hurt look. She smiled meekly, wiping the tears from her face.

"Could you get me a mocha latte? For the ride?"

Naya stood shakily.

"Yea Heath…sure."

* * *

"Mom…I'm sorry I didn't call sooner."

…..

"No, ma. I'm kind of on vacation right now. Except I'm helping Naya film some stuff too, and –

….

"Yea, Naya Rivera? Who else?"

….

"I know. I'm sorry. I wanted to, but I just -How did you find out?"

….

"I couldn't have told you. I couldn't have –

….

"Mom, those are just rumors, I swear!"

….

"And what if I was, what if I was g-

….

"Why the hell can't I say it? Is "gay" a bad word?"

….

"I don't think Dad would say that at all. And I hate that you always use him against me. I hate how much you – you –

….** Click.**

"Mom?..."

"Mommy?"

Heather dropped her phone, braced herself against the steering wheel and broke down in sobs. She saw Naya approach, but didn't even acknowledge her. And with a shaky, understanding hand Naya used the key she still held to unlock the car door.

* * *

**A/N: bits of what Momma Morris said will appear in the story soon enough, but I'm sure you all can guess what was said. Poor Heather. I'm sorry for the mega-delayed update everyone. Forgive me and review?**


	47. Chapter 41

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 41_

"_Don't you dare say it, Heather. Please…don't do this to me. Don't you DARE"_

Heather buried her head underneath the pillows, sniffling into the comforter.

"_Honey….your father…what would he think? I'm sure he'd say that Taylor was good for you. You need a man supportive and caring as him in your life. He'd be so ashamed, honey. Couldn't you just rethink things? Think about the family. Think about the Hubbells!"_

They had finally made it to New York.

They made it to the city, where her girlfriend was going to realize one of her biggest, oldest dreams…and her mother had all but abandoned her.

She felt Naya shift from where she had been sitting on the edge of the hotel bed, her hand on the back of Heather's knee in a sort of silent vigil.

Heather felt her lie down beside her and stroke the hair that she could reach under the mess of pillows protecting her face from the shame, the agony, and all the repressed anger...

"Honey….what can I do?"

Heather just murmured senseless, whining syllables into the fabric that was all but suffocating her.

But after Naya removed the pillows, and put her arms around her as best she could from her position, she worked up enough stamina to turn her head.

"Don't leave me?" she asked weakly, and she sounded so child-like that it all but ripped Naya's heart to shreds. The doubt in her voice broke them both, and they tumbled forward – literally – into each other's tight embrace. Into reality.

Naya's tears mingled with Heather's on the blonde's neck, as she sobbed out "I won't. I would never…God, Heather. I'm so sorry."

Heather breathed in deep against her hair, as Naya repeated over and over again, quieter and quieter until they were both soothed into sleep,

"I'm sorry….I'm sorry."

The harsh artificial light still shone down on their prone forms from the ceiling.

….

"I've got you Heath'. I'm sorry."

"M'sorry…."

* * *

When Naya came out of the small bathroom the next morning, already fully dressed because she was afraid her shuffling around the room would wake her girlfriend up – she was instead greeted by the sight of Heather, tank top askew and pony-tail crooked, sitting cross-legged on the bed and pointing a camera in her face.

"Hey! What if I was still naked!" She laughed, tightening the towel that sat upon her head.

"I was counting on it," Heather teased, managing a smirk.

"Perv," Naya scoffed. But even as she said it she did a little twirl for her adorable director's benefit, a smile gracing her face.

"What do you want to do today, Ms. Music-star?" Heather giggled, zooming in on Naya's face, and snorting when Naya chose to stick out her tongue at the exact same moment.

"Whatever you want to do, baby" Naya said kindly, as she skirted out of frame to walk towards the blonde and bend down to give her a gentle kiss.

"I want to act like everything's normal, okay?" Heather said softly, once their lips separated, and Naya nodded in understanding.

"Okay then." She said definitively, slapping her hands down onto her legs as she plopped down next to Heather. "I know what we're doing today!"

"What's that, now?" Heather asked, as she flipped the off switch on her camera and lied it down gently on the floor. Naya checked out her ass when she leaned over the edge of the bed, and slowly dragged her eyes up to Heather's cocky grin and raised eyebrow, clearly not concerned with having being caught.

"I'm gonna take you out on a date," she answered coolly, laughing when Heather's expression shifted suddenly to one of delight, and she pounced on top of her with the enthusiasm of a spoiled Labrador puppy…or something of the same sort.

Unlike a damn dog though, Heather's sloppy and sudden kisses were something she'd always, _always _readily accept. (Which was good, because within the following hour or so she was on the receiving end of about a thousand more…upon varying points of her writhing form.)

* * *

Dianna got the call as she and Lea were lounging around the blonde's apartment, watching aimless TV with their feet casually tangled together on the couch.

"It's Naya," she mouthed to the other woman as she slid her phone unlocked.

Lea's ears almost literally perked up with intrigue, and she leaned forward in an attempt to listen in, but Dianna chuckled, lightly tipping her back against her end of the couch with her free hand, and smiling indulgently at her responding pout.

"Hey Nay! What's going on in your sexy life?"

Lea rolled her eyes, and Dianna winked at her teasingly, as she nodded along to Naya's response to her messing around.

Suddenly her expression changed as Naya got down to the point of her call, though.

"Aw, wait…are you taking Heather out on a DATE tonight?"

Lea squealed and nearly knocked both of them off the side of the couch as she sat upright, and this time Dianna didn't bother to push her away.

"_Yea- yea…I am," _Naya responded, and Dianna swore she could hear her shy smile over the phone, "_don't make fun of me, alright.? Because okay…this is embarrassing - "_

Lea shoved forward to interrupt, pressing her face against Dianna's cheek to yell into the phone,

"Do you not know how to like, DO IT or something?!"

"_What? Uh, hi Lea... It?"_ Came Naya's flustered response.

"YEAH. You know….like, lady it with the lady bits! Because why would you ask Di and not m -

"Lea!" Dianna laughed, shoving the girl back once more, as Naya made a protest of

"_what, of course I do I mean not that…! Wait – do _you_? …" _

"Hey!" Dianna cut her off, blushing subtly at the topic of conversation, "she's not listening anymore. Sorry about that. What do you need, hun?"

"_Do you know what kind of flowers Heather might like…or something? I told her I was going out to like, explore the city for a few hours, so I could come back and pick her up for real…and now…uh…"_

"Aw. Nay-Nay! That's so sweet!"

"_Shuttup,"_ Naya grumbled, and then she repeated herself more assertively, making it a statement more than anything, _"what kind of flowers."_

"Never!" Dianna teased, and then she flitted her eyes over very quickly, almost imperceptibly, to Lea before gazing fondly down at the idle patterns of the blanket that covered them both from the waist down,

"Get her gardenias." She said softly. Then she hung up the phone and became suddenly very afraid to look back up.

* * *

**A/N: It's official. This story has grown a mind of it's own because even I didn't expect Dianna to...well. What do YOU all think she's up to? Excited for HeYa's date? Review!**


	48. Intermission or A Happy Ending

I can hold my heart in two

_Intermission - A Happy Ending _

Dianna hid her face, blushing, from a very curious and almost urgent Lea, who had gotten up from her side of the couch to kneel on the floor by her side after ten minutes of the blonde woman refusing to say a word.

"Di, honey. Gardenias are pretty. It's..okay? Am I missing something?"

Dianna said nothing, merely looked up at her with broken, puppy-dog eyes and a fearful tremor to her lips. Her hair looked windswept and her bangs clung to her forehead, and Lea couldn't help but think in that moment that she was beautiful.

"Di? Sweetie?" She tried again, leaning forward and grasping both of Dianna's hands, tightly pressed together in her own like her curiosity was almost a kind of prayer.

"I didn't say those flowers just because they're pretty, Lea. You know me. You know I never really make anything…that simple?" The end of her explanation was tainted with uncertainty and shyness. Very unlike the Dianna Lea had come to know. But then again…only she really got to witness her version of the eccentric blonde. Whether she knew it consciously or not…many parts of Dianna were, well…they were simply just for her.

She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead her lips quirked up like a friendly question, as she stared into hazel pools of self-doubt and promising, shining light.

"What are we, Lea?" Dianna whispered, her eyes fluttering shut from the impact of her words.

Lea's mouth closed, and then fell open again as she scrambled up onto her knees to place a lingering kiss on her best friend's forehead.

"I don't know right now either, Lady D. But I want us to be whatever we can be."

Dianna gasped as she caught Lea's potential meaning, and rolled half over so she was falling off the couch in one sense…and onto the brunette in another.

Lea grappled with the awkward hug until she managed to keep them both upright. Dianna giggled, and Lea cackled, as Arthur scrambled into the room in alarm (calming down once he realized it was just his mommies acting up, and circling around a fairy-patterned pillow on the floor in the corner to go to sleep.)

"I think I love you," Dianna murmured into her neck, "God, why am I just realizing this now?!" She laughed again, burying her face in sweet smelling hair, giddy with her own epiphany.

"I know I love you right back," Lea grinned over the top of the blonde's head, using it as a chin rest and staring happily off into the other room for no other reason but for

the simple fact she could. Eventually though, when Dianna started nudging at her with her nose – _like her damn dog or Shiela! _- She thought with a laugh, she lifted her chin and brought them face to face again.

"Maybe it's because our two favorite girls are getting their happy ending, after all. Maybe we remembered we're entitled to our own, too."

* * *

Miles and miles away and an hour or so later, Naya stood with a bouquet of gardenia's in her hand, smiling down at them and hoping they'd be her good luck charm as she nervously knocked on her own hotel room door.

* * *

**A/N: I know I know, it's not really HeYa. But I wanted to end this chapter on a really sweet note and selfishly delay the drama of Hemo's family for just a little while longer. Do y'all approve of the sudden Achele? I promise they're not becoming a focus, but, like the title says this chapter was a sort of breaking point for me, and a way to give two of our sweet side characters "A Happy Ending" without much fuss.**

**I wrote this for a dear friend before she gets some surgery done. I wish her luck and hope she finds it sufficient ;). plz Review!**


	49. Chapter 42

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 42_

"Those are Dianna's favorite flower," Heather giggled with a quirk to her lips as she opened the door only to find Naya nervously idling. It was as if she had sensed her there, and she therefore decided to put her out of her – adorably cowardly – misery.

"Hello to you too," Naya commented with a short laugh, her eyes roaming over Heather's skinny jeans and blouse clad form. She looked simple, but beautiful – put together, but a wonderful kind of care-free.

"You called her, didn't you?" Heather teased, playfully narrowing her eyes at the increasingly flustered woman before her.

"Yea…" Naya drew out, grinning bashfully and ducking her head, thrusting the flowers to Heather so roughly that the blonde almost dropped them.

Heather outright laughed at her, and Naya lifted her head up to scowl, but the expression caught on the zip line of her tightly drawn cheeks and became a love-struck smile instead when she saw the utter joy in Heather's eyes.

"You're like a teenager right now!" Hemo gushed at the shorter girl, pulling her inside by the arm as she babbled on, "it's so cute! And kind of hilarious! Can I film this?"

"NO!" Naya shouted, panicky and high and oh-so-embarrassing, causing them both to flinch.

She rubbed her free hand over her eyes as Heather gripped onto her arm tightly, watching her with bemused concern.

"Okay," Naya said decisively, "we're going to start over. Because obviously everything can't be story book perfect and I only just realized that, so I have to stop acting all fake and overhyped and nervous about this. This is me, uh - taking my beautiful, wonderful girlfriend out on a date. This time without Beyonce," here she winked at Heather, "and it's going to be even BETTER than that one because we don't need no queen to rule this city. We can do that on our own."

Heather dropped the bouquet of Gardenias onto the table in the hall and used her leverage on Naya's right arm to reel her in close, capturing her lips in a deep kiss, slipping her tongue inside and spinning them to press the unsuspecting girl back up against the door.

"It's so hot when you get all confident on me," Heather gasped into the humid air between their open mouths. She dropped her lips to place them against her girlfriend's pulse before slowly dragging them up and wrapping them snuggly over the lobe of an already bright red, blushing ear.

She nibbled, and Naya yelped. Heather giggled, her tongue darting like a snake to feel the sensitive curve of cartilage heat underneath her touch, "because I know you're really, honestly, such a dork."

She pressed more solidly against Naya's hips, causing Naya to buck forward, but instead of resuming any sort of kiss Heather pulled away with one last lingering peck to Naya's cheek, leaving them both breathless, grinning and just staring at each other really for a minute or so.

Heather was the first to speak, continuing the trend of her taking the lead even though this was really Naya's date:

"Shall we go?" She teased, and Naya mock-glared at her,

"I'll decide that, miss Impatient. You don't even know where we're going."

"Yet," Heather said quickly, so that the 't' was a cluck of her tongue.

Naya rolled her eyes but the smile on her face made it null and void. Heather offered up her hand and a suddenly bashful again brunette took it with exaggerated grace, before leading them both along.

She, of course, refusing to break eye-contact with Heather, backed her way out the door and almost fell down over the cheesy hotel welcome mat, sending Heather into riotous laughter once more.

* * *

"I hear that if you lick the spoon or breathe your hot smelly breath on it for like, four seconds it sticks better. On your nose, I mean. If you breathe like a dragon all over the metal it'll stick."

Heather rambled on as Naya sipped on her after-lunch/brunch cappuccino, and when the woman in question actually went through with going "huuuuuuhhhh" really loudly, gusting warm air all over her teaspoon and plonking it successfully onto her freckled nose - where it promptly wibbled, wobbled and then just _stuck_ - Naya had to clasp her hand tightly over EVERYTHING and slam her coffee cup down onto the tablecloth clumsily to keep liquid from shooting out her nostrils.

"Gross," she groaned, sniffling. Her eyes were shining with the shock of the hot coffee stopping her airways, but Heather and she both suspected it was also, partially, tears of laughter that were at least, a partial cause.

"You are insane," Naya commented simply, but a certain lilt, a syllable of wonder on the word "you" made it come out sounding a whole lot like,

"Teach me everything about you."

"You have to try it, Nay!" Heather exclaimed, nodding her head in encouragement, the spoon on her face tumbling down from the motion.

Naya let out a theatrically long-suffering sigh before a giggle finally escaped. She wiped her sugar-coated spoon on a napkin, darted her eyes around to make sure no one but her favorite girl was watching her, and breathed her caffeinated breath all over the metal utensil, watching as it fogged.

"I'm not even sure if I hope the paparazzi is far, far away from this cozy little restaurant like I planned, Heath'," Naya stated as the spoon dropped, refusing to stick to her smaller nose, "…or if I hope they're watching so pictures of this become the first thing any of our friends have seen of us in almost a week."

"Dianna would laugh," Heather pointed out, the spoon inexplicably – as far as Naya was concerned, at least, for she did not see it happen – now hanging from her left cheek.

"Yea," Naya snorted, reaching forward to swipe at the spoon and prompting a "hey!" to burst out of Heather's upturned mouth, "she really would."

Naya never did figure out how to get the spoon to stick, and Heather made fun of her even after they exited the restaurant to window shop arm in arm, poking at her nose and calling it "faulty" even as they took a taxi cab to Broadway. And they made each other laugh as they reenacted the "New York" number on those famous red steps of time square until they attracted a crowd of at least 18 gaping people, prompting them to run down the nearest street, gasping and grinning and giggling all the way to the nearest Starbucks (which, of course, there were many, and it had only been a block down the road.)

"I really do love you," Naya commented heavily, as she and Heather hid in the back corner of the room, huddled over two steaming lattes, "I've said it before, and I know you know I meant it. But just…I really, _really _do."

Heather's face didn't light up like Naya expected it to. Instead it brightened slowly, her cheeks turning red even before the smile finally broke through,

"I love you too," she all but sighed,

"I can't remember ever not loving you. One half of my heart, remember?"

Naya immediately recalled the broken, desperate speech Heather had given her as they laid together on that bed. It felt like eons ago. It felt like before her life had begun.

"One half of your heart," she repeated, and then….

"You know…even if we sewed you all back up? Just in case, you can have mine too."

"Nay…" Heather's voice had gotten thick with tears,

"All of it. You can have it all."

* * *

**A/N: I actually really love this chapter - but I feel like it has a different feel to it, almost as if the mood of the story has changed. Am I wrong in thinking this, and if not, is it a good shift at least? What do you guys think? Thanks to Kat for the prompt hidden within all these love-soaked words 3. Please review! **


	50. Chapter 43

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 43_

"_All of it, you can have it all."_

The important words played on loop through Heather's head as she lay in bed and Naya showered in preparation for her first day in the studio. Heather had teased her saying she really only needed to put on a pair of sweats and a tank-top, and maybe put her hair in a bun so it didn't get all over the microphone, but Naya of course wasn't having any of it.

"I want to look perfect!" She had all but gushed to her discretely giggling girlfriend, who bit back a "you always look perfect," not wanting to off-set Naya's excitement with a cheesy comment.

She instead just shook her head lovingly as Naya darted into the bathroom, towel in hand.

"_All of it, you can have it all."_

Naya wanted her to have _all of her._ The idea was so joy-inspiring and scary and exciting that Heather almost couldn't believe it. She finally had Naya's heart, after what seemed like years and years of struggle; with herself, with her friendships, with all the girls she had hurt in the past by not being there the next morning….

She had her Naya. The girl she never imagined that she could deserve. Naya's professing of true, raw love sparked up inside her, and it was like the reality of the past week had hit her with full force, that what they had was really real.

But if that was true, if she was happy- well then why was she still nervous, deep down inside? Why did it feel like a part of her wasn't whole?

She heaved a sigh, flipped over in bed so that her face was mere inches away from being burrowed in a cold, fluffy pillow, and reached blindly for her phone. It rang almost completely out, until someone finally picked up. The resulting click hit her in the chest like a bomb going off, and she wondered if she wasn't making a dangerous snap-decision.

_Fuck._

"H-hi mom…"

"Heather? Is that you? Are you still in New York? I called your sister and she said she saw some pictures of you and the girl, honey, I told you-

"MOM," Heather shouted, but her throat suddenly felt raw with tears, and lying flat on her stomach didn't feel like such a good idea anymore. She listened to check that her girlfriend's shower was still running as she turned herself over and sat up against the headboard. On the other end her mother was still blessedly silent, probably from shock.

Heather really wasn't one to yell. She hadn't been even in her childhood – not unless someone over stepped when talking about her father, long after he was dead. Not unless she was really, terribly hurt by something someone else had done. Her mother had personally heard her yell maybe three times in her life, and it was never at her.

"Mom," she choked out again, as tears tracked down her face and she willed herself to get back in control. She swallowed thickly, heard her mother suck in a breath, and her voice got stronger seemingly out of the blue,

"You can't do this to me, mom. You, and my sister, and Taylor…you're all the family I have. He knows I love him, we've been nothing more than friends for a long time now but he's like…the brotherly love of my life! You can't – you have to know I'm not betraying ANYONE. Not Dad, not you…not anybody. You don't know how scary this is for me too!"

"Heather, I'm just –

"YOU DON'T," She all but screamed in frustration, throwing the pillow that sat next to her across the room,

"You don't know mom. You don't know. You'll never understand how hard it was to hide my feelings from everyone. But now I'm allowed to say that I love her, I've allowed myself that. She's allowed me that. I'm in LOVE with her! And if you can't accept that…then you can't accept me."

Heather sat there, her finger hovering over the "end call" button, desperately waiting for her mom to talk. She waited almost a minute, and was about to give up – was about to lie down and accept she'd lost her family for good, when right in the middle of whispering a broken "goodbye", her mother cut her off.

"Honey…" her mom began hesitantly, "I truly don't understand."

Heather's hackles rose up again, ready to defend her relationship one final time, but then she realized her mom sounded calm, a bit more peaceful than usual, and also kind of sad.

"I don't understand….but I love you."

"Mom?" Her voice sounded hesitant and hopeful like a little girl's.

"I love you, baby. But I have to go now, I guess I really do need some time to think."

Heather's heart twisted painfully, but at least it didn't break. She heard the shower turn off, like it was in some distant place. Everything outside of her head was like an echo.

"I hope you can understand, at least a little bit." Her mom continued, once her silence seemed impenetrable, "Naya is…she's a nice girl. I'm just…so lost."

"I….," she wanted to say she understood, and she actually was touched by her mother's effort… but she didn't feel accepted yet, not truly. She just wanted her mom to love her for who she was without any of it being difficult (She feared in her heart though that it was too much to ask).

"I'll talk to you soon mom. I love you too."

*click*

And then suddenly all her emotions were just…gone.

* * *

"Babe, who was that?"

Naya asked curiously when she saw Heather's phone drop lightly onto the mattress. She worried her bottom lip when she saw the watery gloss of Heather's eyes, and wrapped the towel tightly around herself as she sat next to the other girl on the bed.

"It was my mom," Heather choked out, falling into her girlfriend's quickly opened arms.

"Heath – what – did she call you?"

Heather shook her head against her neck, and Naya sighed, privately admiring Heather's strength.

"You confronted her," she stated simply, adoringly, as Heather choked back another bout of tears, "are you okay?"

Heather pulled away to look into her eyes:

"N-no," she sniffled, wiping the residue of remorse - tears and nasal fluids and itchiness - from her face, "but I will be. And today I just want…I want to film you singing, if that's okay."

"Heather, are you sure you're up to –

She interrupted her with an almost fierce determination,

"I'm going to get into the shower, I'm going to get ready, and I am going to listen to you sing."

Naya nodded her defeat, and Heather almost cracked a real smile in return before getting up and playfully pulling her towel clean off. When Naya shouted a spirited, "HEY!" after her, chasing her into the room and hopping under the spray as well all over again, everything felt just perfect, at least for right then.

She really did figure that everything else was going to (eventually) be okay.

* * *

**A/N: sorry again, for the long wait guys! I feel that this chapter was a long time coming, and I hope I did it some justice. Review? **


	51. Chapter 44

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 44_

Heather didn't take the camera off Naya for a second as she sang, even though she wanted nothing more than to stop worrying about the proper volume, the proper angle…she just wanted to sit down on the bench behind her in the booth and just listen. Naya's voice seemed to wash over her like a waterfall, and she couldn't fight the grin on her face – or the tears in her eyes when she started singing a slower song, one about blue eyes and blonde hair, about a girl who danced.

She couldn't believe Naya had written a song about her. She zoomed in on her face and captured the twisting features and subtle nuances as every perfect word tumbled out, echoed around the room. Heather whisper-sighed "I love you" so quietly that the microphones probably wouldn't have picked it up, but she hoped that her camera would.

She almost forgot to stop recording when the session was over, and she was startled by the sound of Naya's manager cheering her on, congratulating her from outside through the glass once the sound-proofing was broken by the press of a button on the intercom. It felt like her and Nay were alone in there. It felt like a concert for just for her- her lips quirked and her eyes sparkled as she heard the tune that had brought her to tears ring through her brain-maybe in a way, it was.

* * *

"Do you wanna grab some lunch, I'm starving!" Naya complained lightheartedly as they walked down the street, slowly becoming more and more blissfully unaware of all the stares they were getting as they traveled hand-in-hand. Heather noticed though, for much longer than Naya did she kept noticing, and she had to fight to ignore the worry it caused her.

_How long would it be til they were completely outed? Would it be on their own terms? Did Naya even want it?_

She shook the thoughts off and tried to hone in on what her girlfriend was saying. Apparantly she didn't do so well because when she focused she saw that they had stopped walking, pressed up against a wall to avoid getting bowled over, and Naya was looking at her, concerned.

"Heath'… Food? Please?" She laughed, although her eyebrow was still quirked.

"Yea, of course! Sorry. I don't know any of the places around here though –

Naya cut her off with a wave of her hand and a smile, "Jeez, it's like you've never been to New York baby. We'll find a pizza place or a café in no time, don't worry."

"ooooh, Au Bon Pain?" Heather asked with a joking level of wonder and excitement, swinging Naya's arm between them as they resumed walking, with more of a purpose to their steps than before.

"Yea, you dork – if you want and we find one we can be hipsters and eat at Au Bon Pain."

Heather's "YAY" was so exaggerated and loud that they got a few stares, but Naya only laughed joyfully, pulling her along through the tightening crowd. Six or seven blocks later they managed to find a cute looking café across the street.

Heather probably thought she didn't notice – but Naya knew that when she got Heather joking, she stopped worrying at least for a little while about what other people saw.

* * *

Ashley was sitting on her couch, doubled over in laughter as she watched Taylor clumsily play a work-out mode in Just Dance 3. She felt a surge of giddy pride as the bumbling man nearly tripped over his big, dorky feet, knowing that not even Heather had ever convinced him to play this game with them – and now she had him playing a song or two on his own.

She snorted so loudly when he managed to miss six moves in a row that he spun around to look at her, insulted, the remote hanging from the strap on his wrist.

"You're losing, genius!" She said through absolutely unattractive laughter. He only grinned at her, pointing the remote behind him and pressing the power button down until the Wii was completely off.

"Hey - next time - my turn!" she whined, breathing in deep gasps to replenish her oxygen. In response, Taylor placed the remote on the floor and stalked over to her, standing tall above her and then kneeling in front of her, pulling her lips forward to meet his. She moaned in surprise into the kiss, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck and bowing down even further so that their foreheads touched.

"I kinda love you," Taylor practically giggled when they finally pulled apart, now that both of them were out of breath.

Ashley's heart caught, and squeezed so pleasantly that she laughed airily, too.

"Wow. Yea, me too."

They stared into each other's eyes silently until one of them coughed awkwardly and suddenly they were slightly pulling back and rubbing at their necks, unsure of what to do.

"You love you too, huh. Well that's nice to know," Taylor bemoaned sarcastically, to break the tension.

"I'm the best, why shouldn't I love me?" Ashley retorted back with a charming grin. As Taylor walked away for a second to grab a bottle of water she murmured affectionately under her breath, "You know I meant you, you goof."

* * *

"You're a goofball, you know that?" Heather joked as she watched Naya complete the connect-the-dot on the kiddie menu page left behind on their table. It turned out that the café they had found was more of a diner.

"Me? I'm only following your lead," Naya gestured with a smirk, waving to where Heather was idly sketching something on her own placemat.

She pouted in response,

"I'm doing the Sudoku puzzle they had on the back."

"Wow," Naya deadpanned, "they expect some smart kids to come into this joint, huh."

"Sudoku isn't that hard. I'll be done with this one in a minute," Heather shrugged easily, filling in a few more numbers.

"I love you," was Naya's unexpectedly abrupt response, she hoped her girlfriend only heard the adoration in her words, and not the sad sigh she let slip out. Heather looked up with a funny kind of grin,

"I love you too," she all but cooed, and then – "What's up, babe?"

Naya almost rolled her eyes at how well Heather could read her every quirk and habit, but only because she didn't really feel like darkening their conversation right now. Their familiarity, how in tune they were, it didn't surprise her at all anymore. Fate had laid a hand, you know? They'd been like this for years, almost from the first moment…like they were meant to be something, always. And normally she loved it, needed it even, but right now –

"I -…it's nothing, really."

Heather shot her a warning look, and asked again, even more concerned, "what's wrong?"

Naya stared down at the table for a minute or two, not looking up even when her sandwich was placed in front of her by the waiter. Heather took a bite of her own salad before reaching forward to steal a few of Naya's fries, not pressuring her to look up though, just being patient.

"Do you think my mom knows by now?" Naya asked quietly, looking up at last.

Heather seemed surprised by the question,

"I – I don't know, Nay."

"Not that I think she'd mind, she loves you, she's always been a very open woman," Naya continued on quickly, "It's just that I feel bad, if she found out from someone that wasn't me, you know? I really love her. I miss her, and I think she needs to hear about what's going on in my life from me. Especially if it's big and important and…great," she paused, smiled, and repeated,

"You're great."

Heather smiled in response, but kept silent, knowing Naya wasn't finished. She could see it in her eyes.

"I want everyone to know about us. That's why I need to talk to my mom because – Heather, would you be willing to come out? To come out… with me, I mean? Would you -" She was starting to stutter now, afraid Heather was going to say no, her hands clasped together tightly in front of her, pushing against her plate of untouched food. Heather reached around the plate and pulled Naya's hands into her own.

"I want the whole world to know how much I love you, Naya Rivera. I've been hiding it for so, so long. I won't lie to you, I won't say I'm not scared – I'm terrified, really…I was always taught that in this industry, you had to be. But I see how brave you are, and I want to be that too, and I don't want us to have to hide anymore."

"I love you," Naya said once again, tears shining unshed in her eyes.

"I love you too. Whenever you're ready, you should call your mom."

After they were done talking, Naya finally was able to bite into her sandwich without feeling ill. In fact, she was so starved from her long day of singing that she cleared her entire plate in record time ( though Heather may have helped after her salad was gone).

* * *

**A/N: This story is making its way toward a natural ending soon, I think :). I hope this chapter was enjoyable, please tell me what you think! I dunno about you guys but I totally missed Ashlor. **


	52. Chapter 45

I can hold my heart in two

_Chapter 45_

"Hey, Heather?" Naya called questioningly, quietly into her ear as they lay in darkness, tinted by the red-orange lights of the city filtering into their hotel room. Heather turned around in her arms so that they were nose-to-nose.

"Yea?" She asked, smiling slightly at the adorable look on her girlfriend's face, slightly nervous and mixed with some sort of awe (it was an awe that overtook her every time she saw those eyes looking so deeply back at her, but Heather had yet to figure that out).

Naya sighed, prompting Heather to pull her closer, so that they were no longer looking at each other only because Naya's face was now buried in the crook of her neck. Naya mumbled something against her skin and she squirmed from the oddness of the sensation, giggling and wriggling away. "What was that, babe? I felt it, I didn't hear it!" She teased, and Naya craned her neck to look at her raised eyebrows and quirked lips from the awkward new angle. She smiled softly and asked, her tone clouded with anxiety and embarrassment,

"Would you be annoyed if we found a flight back tomorrow? …So I could, - um, so I could get us to have dinner with my mom?"

Heather nudged her back gently so that they could see each other again, and beamed at her, leaning forward to capture her lips in a kiss that was so sudden and tender that Naya's mouth parted slightly in surprise more than anything else. She hummed into Heather's lips and rolled on top of her, her knees digging into the mattress on either side for just a moment before she lightly pulled on Heather's bottom lip with her teeth playfully and then pulled back entirely, sliding down to rest her head on Heather's lightly heaving chest,

"What was that for, hot stuff?" She asked, laughter in her voice, as she took in the sight of her girlfriend's flushed cheeks. Heather's head popped up to look at her so quickly she almost jumped, but then she just laughed even more at her response,

"I should be asking you the same question! 'What was that for", she scoffed, "I was mauled for a minute there."

"I was just getting into it," Naya said lowly, moving up again and lowering her lips to softly mold to the skin behind Heather's ear, "I can't help myself…"

"N-no?" Heather responded, trying to keep her composure as their shirts rode up and hot skin met –

"Not even a little bit," Naya reassured, before pulling at the cartilage of Heather's ear so slowly that she moaned instead of yelped. When Naya felt the hips beneath her start to move she triumphantly rolled away so that she landed on the opposite side of the bed from where she had begun, staring up at the ceiling with her closest hand tracing lazy patterns over her girlfriend's stomach,

"And you like it," she finished cockily. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Heather nod. They lay like that for several minutes, calming down as their thoughts came back to them and breaths evened out, and eventually Heather called out quietly, in an intentional mimicry of how this had all begun,

"Hey Naya?"

Naya snorted, rolling over to face her – "yea babe?"

"Not that I even need a reason – but I was just kissing you because I was so excited. Of course we can go home tomorrow. You're going to tell your mom about us right?"

"Mhm. We're going to." Naya corrected, tapping Heather's nose with her finger, making it scrunch. She sighed happily when Heather all but fell forward to wrap her arm around her waist tightly.

"I love you…" Heather said, softly.

"I love you too, you know," Naya returned with a grin in her voice, "and I figured…nah – it's a silly plan."

She brushed herself off in a way that she knew would get the blonde curious and over-eager.

"What?" Heather asked, quickly.

"It's nothing – although…."

"Although?"

"I was just thinking, you know, that it makes sense how overeager I got – when you think about how this is potentially our last night where the whole damn universe doesn't know we're together. So…we could be as loud as we want, and no one would ever suspect it was us." She waggled her eyebrows, and Heather and her both knew she was totally reaching, and that she was a dork…but the blonde all but launched upon her anyway, stripping them both of all their clothing in record time. Naya loved it when her girl took control. It was almost as if she'd planned to get that reaction all along.

She smirked up at the darkness as Heather's lips went well - what's the opposite of up, again?

* * *

**A/N: I'd like to think of this chapter as a bit of a gift to all my faithful readers ;). The next chapter will probably have to be more content based, but - we know what Naya's plans are now! Our girls are that much closer to being out...so, tell me what you think!**


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